Poll for the self-diagnosed

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It took me a few years, actually. Since about mid-2006, I have been researching everywhere on many disorders to find something that would explain why I am so different. Personality disorders, schizophrenia (I have a few cases on the family), bipolar, OCD, the list goes on. I even came across Asperger syndrome (a passing mention on an unrelated community), but I did not pay too much attention because I assumed it was similar to classic autism, which, despite some eerily similar characteristics, I did not fit the criteria for.

After about two years of searching, I concluded I had social anxiety and depression, although it did not answer all of my questions. I knew they were both consequences of my own weird behavior, but from where did that behavior come from? Anyway, I decided to give it a rest for a while. Then I got my first job, began to improve on many aspects (became more dependable, less scared about social interactions, stopped having meltdowns, among other improvements) and my worries about my mental health decreased.

Eventually, I came across TV Tropes article on Asperger syndrome and realized that it was too much like a description of myself for me to ignore. I resumed my old obsession on researching disorders and, after going through many articles on Asperger syndrome, asking my closest relatives about my childhood and current behavior, analyzing my own behavior from since when I began to keep track of it, not to mention the DSM-IV diagnosis criteria, I decided to join this community. Reading the posts from the members here, I can identify with many of them. I have more reasons to believe I have Asperger syndrome than not.

Of course, I will not ignore the possibility of being wrong about it, but no one can say I simply read a Wikipedia article and took an internet quiz.

After I graduated high-school my mom told me that she had asked my general practitioner if I could be autistic when I was a tolder but he laughed & said "Nick's just being Nick". Then my mom said how a psych I saw between 9th & 10th grade when I got recertificated for dyslexia thought I had Aspergers but he was not qualified to diagnoses it. My mom then said how she had done a bit of research on it & believed I had it. I looked it up a bit online & it seemed to really fit me. I didn't think a lot about autism or AS till a couple years ago when I was having lots of problems on other forums & decided to try joining WP because I seen it mentioned on a few forums that had a couple AS people. I fit in better here than I ever had any any other forums & I really relate to a lot of the AS issues & problems so I'm pretty sure I have AS

I have always had very strange sensory issues, and I thought it was strange that I seemed to be the only person to have them.

I am very familiar with databases and internet searches, and I know that Google searches work by matching words and phrases in the search with the pages in its index, so often when I would be using the internet, if a particular sensory problem would affect me I would search Google, using an exact quote of part of the language I would use to describe that particular sensory problem.

One time when I did a search one of the results included the phrase "our obsessions". That immediately seemed incredibly significant to me, because I've had one particular topic that I never considered an "obsession", but I have spent so much time accumulating information about this particular topic and most people who interacted with me during a many year period would say that I talked about nothing but that topic. I know that I always brought conversations back to that topic and that that topic has been a major focus. In addition, I have a tendency to get very focused on other particular subjects for short periods of time(like a few months), learn every detail about them, and then completely lose interest. And these subjects are often very obscure things, or very narrow aspects of a broader subject.

This site was also called "wrong planet", which also had major significance to me. Ever since I was very young I have known that I was different from other people. My mom's belief was that it was just because I was intelligent, and academically that's true. I taught myself to read, and understood how to do math before I was in elementary school. When I was three years old I would memorize entire Bible stories and recite them word-for-word. I can still remember them word-for-word. But it was not just that I was intelligent. There was something intrinsically different about me, and it seemed that everyone at the various schools I went to knew it. My teachers knew it, and the other students absolutely knew it. I was put in gifted classes, but I was different even from the other kids in the gifted classes, and they knew it. I didn't understand them. I didn't understand why they acted the ways they did. And I didn't know why they seemed to form groups or tended to have significant interaction with each other. So I always felt like something was very wrong with me, but I didn't know what.

When I read the DSM-IV-TR criteria for AS, it was as if someone was describing *me* very specifically. Although I've been reading this site for over four years now and I've seen many people ask for clarification about what is meant by particular criteria, I didn't need clarification for any of it. Everything listed applied very precisely to some aspect of me, and every one of the major criteria were things that other people had commented to me about when I was growing up. But there was more than that. When I read the criteria, I considered aspects about my life up to that point that I had known seemed unusual but that I had never considered pathological. For instance, I never attempted to form particular types of relationships with people that others seemed to know were expected(like not trying to form any kind of loose relationship with anyone, and not dealing with anyone unless I had an immediate use for doing so). This meant I didn't understand a lot about why people make certain choices that they make. But it wasn't because I wasn't interested in other people's actions. It was because I had just never understood their actions to the degree that would have been required to consider whether or not I was interested in them. I realized that in so many situations I had had trouble because what was expected of me was something that I had never even considered.

I registered to get a library card so that I could check out every book on AS, and I read every page of every one that I checked out. I read descriptions by Tony Atwood, and read autobiographies of autistic people. I also spent almost all of my time reading this site.

I have taken the available quizzes, and I've stored printouts of each time I've taken them. My answers and scores have been very consistent.

I would be extremely surprised if I found out that I was not on the autistic spectrum.

I would very much like to be evaluated, but I have some significant issues:

1. I live in the United States, and from the descriptions I have read on this site, the cost of evaluation is very significant, often being thousands of dollars. I do have a job(thanks to researching how to get a job after learning about AS) and do have insurance, but I don't get paid very much money. I also have a significant medical expense that I will have to pay for soon(and likely one more relatively smaller one after that), so even if I normally would have enough to pay, I would not have the ability to pay very much for it.
   
2. I don't know how to ask or whom to ask. When I was growing up, I did not regularly visit doctors. I don't have a good understanding of how to go about asking or who I would ask, and I also have developed a significant social phobia, so I have both a lack of understanding about who I would need to talk to and a fear of interacting with people, especially anyone who I haven't interacted with before.

Those things combined make me very confused and scared. I am not scared that my self-assessment is incorrect, but I am scared because I don't have a good understanding of what to do.

My son was diagnosed and I had never heard of it at that time, so I started looking up everything I could find on it and reading books and such. I then realized how much it sounded like me.

ETA- I've also taken the quizzes. I am awaiting the results of my medical diagnosis.

I took 10 online quizzes, found this site and asked some questions, and then got professionally diagnosed.

Same here - my son led me to my discovery. Researching his AS led me to books and happiness. When I read descriptions of AS to other family members their mouths dropped and one asked "Is there a picture of you in that book??" I was very happy to have an answer and to know I wasn't the only one, as I've always thought.

I am not sure if I do have Aspergers yet but I have done research on various sites including wiki and this one, various online quizes and also various books including 'The complete Guide to Aspergers' and 'AsperGirls' the latter of which was like reading about myself in many ways (as well as parts of the former). However, not all of the symptoms apply to me (ie I am capable of non literal speech) so as a result I am not sure if I have it or not.

I was 12 when diagnosed but I have always known I was different and couldn't understand why. All I knew was I was normal but couldn't understand why I couldn't be normal. I just thought it was the way I was treated and I couldn't understand what was it about me that made me a target.

I was never professionally diagnosed, but I am reasonably certain that I am Aspergers. I first learned about it when I read John Elder Robinson's Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Aspergers and identified with it a little more than I was necessarily comfortable with (it's a wonderful book; read it if you haven't done so). Over the last year and a half I have done a fair bit of research on the subject, and I have found that I fit the criteria rather well, although I doubted my objectivity for some time. However, I recently met a girl who lives on my hall (I'm at university) whose mother is an autism advocate (her younger brother is autistic) and she mentioned it to me within a month. I eventually discussed the matter with my parents as well and after doing some research of their own, they tentatively agreed with my speculations. We ultimately decided not to pursue a diagnosis because while it would have been extremely helpful when I was younger, would be more expensive than it is worth at this stage of my life. Drawing from my research (I have had valid references; my school has a strong psychology programme so the library is well-equipped), I have concluded that my childhood was a series of serendipitous coincidences that resulted in my being as independent as I have become. On such coincidence is that I went to a Christian preschool that regarded etiquette very highly and as such I learned to "mind my manners" at a very young age, which counteracted the worst of the bad manners bits. My parents have never been anything but supportive, even when I had meltdowns or spoke incessantly about whatever it was I was stuck on at the time. Learning about Aspergers has helped me a lot over the last year, especially as I started university in the fall. I was able to adjust much better with the help of the knowledge I have gained.

That's exactly the same thing I did since 2004 I began researching on various disorders in the hope of finding myself just a little bit in there and thus explaining why I'm so different. And because of the same reasons as you I did not bother to research more about AS until many years later.
I came across it when I was trying to see how I could get along with my father better since he's very peculiar. That's when I thought about AS and I began to read a lot about it. Somehow this explained better than anything else why I am the way I am.
Nonetheless, I don't go around claiming I have AS. I know I can be wrong on this.

I started a process which, hopefully, will get me an official diagnosis, but it is not yet over.

I first answered the Baron-Cohen AQ test for other reasons, more or less by accident, and had a high score. I didn't know anything about Asperger's syndrome at the time, only that it was a "high-functioning form of autism" -- and all I knew about autism was Rainman. Much later, I read about autism, once again by accident, and the test results came back to my mind. I read a lot on the Internet, both in French and English. I also read several peer-reviewed articles through my university's full-text databases. This website also helped settle a few of my doubts. Finally, I am reading Tony Attwood's Complete Guide at the moment at the library (won't take it out because I don't want to attract attention), after confirmation of its value by a review in a research journal.

I read anything I could get my hands on about AS, took quiz's, researched, researched, researched (it was my special interest for months) and found WP. I was iffy until I got here and started reading and posting. Now, after talking to my case worker and being on here for a little while, we're both pretty positive about my "self diagnosis". I'm not sure if I need a professional diagnosis anymore. I would like to possibly find therapy and stress management to help, though.

I did extensive research on the Internet and a lot of online aspie quizzes. I watched a lot of You Tube videos and asked a lot of questions on Yahoo Answers. I've been doing a lot of research about it for a long time and I'm 99% sure that I have it.

I havent concluded , im stuck in an everlasting loop of realisation,exceptence and denial

I responded as 'professionally diagnosed' in the poll, but I had self-diagnosed or been self-aware for a couple of years before going for a diagnosis. I actually landed on this board from a web search that I did, and spent a lot of time reading through posts on here, and I really connected to everything.

So, I then purchased two books: 'The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome' and 'Aspergirls.' I bought a little packet of mini sticky notes, and marked every page that had something that pertained to me...in the end, I should have saved time and marked the pages that DIDN'T pertain to me, because a lot did.

Afterwards, I tried to tell my boyfriend that I thought I may have AS. He brushed it off, and said I was fine. So, I let it go...until two years later, when some familiar problems came up again, and it brought me back to AS. I came back to WrongPlanet, this time as an active member (posting and such), and finally decided to go for diagnosis. I was diagnosed about two weeks ago.

Well let's see, where to begin... I didn't touch wikipedia at all. Wikipedia can be a good source of information, sure, but it's edited by whoever the hell wants to edit it. Throughout my life, I've pretty much always known I was different. I would know and say things others my age have never heard of. I analyze the living hell out of things. When I fill out a job application and I get to the part with all the stupid questions/statements that you rate how much you agree with, those things take me forever. They never give enough important detail in my opinion.

Anyhow, I've just never really related to people all that well, and people never relate to me. As I got older, I started to notice a lot that I can't really say much of anything without some idiot taking it the wrong way. People put words in my mouth all the time, and sometimes when I speak and describe things I reduce them to their most crude terms, and I swear a lot, which apparently offends people. Then when I try to explain what I really meant by something, they just get more pissed that I'm talking at all anymore, and there's nothing i can do except walk away.

Well after going thru this sort of thing for a long time, i started to wonder wtf was wrong with me... why I'm so different, why I can't seem to make or keep friends very well, why people keep trying to take advantage of me, and why I seem to be the only one who doesn't just accept the information that the establishment presents to him. I started talking to some guy on an e-cig forum chatroom who said he had aspergers, and he was describing it to me because I asked him to. I didn't really know what it was at the time. The more and more he described it, the more it just sounded like it fit. From there, I came here and read up on more people's experiences, and again, a lot of it just fits me. I have a friend I've known for a long time who has aspergers, and when I told him I thought I might have it, he was like "well, duh, I coulda told you that."

Basically, I've read up about it, I've talked to people who have it, and I've read the experiences of people who have it. Comparing all of that with my own experiences has led me to be about 95% certain that I have aspergers. I'd guess that I'm high functioning enough to where I can at least converse and appear to be just another fairly normal person, and I can make friends and stuff, but it's hard to maintain a friendship. At the end of a work day I just wanna go home and relax. I don't wanna go out to the bar. I don't like going out to the bar in the first place. It's too loud and smokey, there are too many people, the music is too loud, and I can't even hear what the person next to me is saying. I already have issues processing audio to begin with, and throwing loud music into the mix will only make it worse. Plus, bars are too damn expensive. Screw paying 3-5 dollars or even more on a shot when I can buy the whole bottle for 15-20. So because of that, i have trouble keeping friendships. And when they start to talk about their interests, I usually become lost because to most people, it's sports, cars, and "that celebrity chick we decided we're going to obsess over this week." I have no interest in any of those things. And a lot of times it just feels weird to think of how old I am. For one, I look just as I did when I was 15, and I'm now 26. The only difference I can see is that now I have facial hair. But besides that, I just don't feel like I'm 26 mentally. Like, I feel like a kid trapped in an adult's body, and I've felt that way for a LOOONG time. I remember hitting 16 and feeling the same way. I just never totally felt like I was prepared for the new stuff that comes with a new age. I don't think that's ever going to change.

I've also concluded that my dad most likely has aspergers, but I'm not going to go into detail on that here. But I wish the people who have the official diagnosis wouldn't be such elitist pricks about it sometimes. I understand that there are hypochondriacs out there, and there are people who just want attention and will lie about everything under the sun just to get it, but we're not all like that. I'm sure as hell not like that.

I'd like to get a diagnosis, but I can't afford to see any doctor. I have no health insurance, and I don't make much at my job. But I feel that trying to get a diagnosis would be pretty much pointless because if I got the diagnosis, they'd either try to give me meds, which I refuse to take. I don't want to be a mindless zombie, and who knows what side effects the meds have? Or, they'd send me to some sort of therapy or something, and while I don't deny that I probably do need it, I don't know what good it would do. Like, I KNOW already what it is I do that bothers people, for the most part, but I don't know how to stop doing it, and I don't really want to stop doing it. I don't want to pretend I'm something I'm not for people to like me. I'm not gonna sit there and talk about stupid ass sports and american idol and whatever other random stupid crap NT people talk about all the time. I'm not gonna watch it myself because I have no interest in it, and I'm sure as hell not gonna pretend I know what I'm talking about and come off as an idiot. If that's what they want to talk about, then I don't wanna talk. And also, I know sometimes I could try wording things differently, but a lot of the time, even when I TRY to be nice and not piss anybody off by altering how I'm going to word things, they STILL take it the wrong way. So I've basically come to the conclusion that society doesn't want me to open my mouth at all. When I see and hear BS, I call it. The urge to do that is never gonna go away, so I really don't know what good a diagnosis would do me if I could even get it. That is my story...