Are autistics "mean"?

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Same.

I'm in the middle of a near two-day silent treatment on her part,
because she's very fond of ignoring or arguing with my explanation of events,
and instead forcing on me her own pre-conceived ideas so that she can conclude negative things about my character.

Whatevs.

Aggressive, cunning and intimidating yes, but being a utter prick, not so much IRL.

It pails to the crap we coped growing up.

I'd say there is a greater tendency for autists to come across as mean simply because we flash the wrong social cues all over the place, and if autistic people do actually tend to be less selfish then unaffected people, than chances are that other will project there own selfish intentions onto the autist and since they don't socially "defend" themselves properly all the worst conclusion will be made. I hope what I just said makes sense.

I get accused of being "mean, "cold," and "arrogant."

No I don't think so.

I'm too nice for my own good. I need to learn to be meaner.

My sister had a thing for labeling me as "mean" from about the time we were teens up through our early 20s, and it was usually included with a comment along the lines of "no wonder you have no friends, are single",......etc. (Funny thing was, she was much nastier towards me than I ever was to her)

I don't smile that often so I know I certainly appear serious. I am not a ''mean '' person but if someone tries to manipulate me I am very quick to turn the tables on them.The difference is that they may not be conciously aware of there manipulation but I am aware that I am doing it.

And NTs aren't?

Generally speaking people with AS are not good at manipulating people so at least when I do it I know it is not the way I would normally behave.I think some NT's do it so often it is a regular habit .

yes annoyingly, i am called mean, mostly due to bluntness. however i find that its mainly from people who like to be buttered up all the time.

That wasn't the point. I think the OP's point was if autistic people get accused or mistaken of being mean because of their behavior and the way they function. She had the word in quotes so that indicated she wanted to know if the rest of us get accused of it.

I have been called an "IRL Troll" several times (IRL=In Real Life")

I think I can be perceived as mean and it was more so when I was young. It was either unintentional or simply getting my way. I'm not manipulative, though. The majority of people around me seem to manipulate others more and easier than I do at 38.

Yes, sometimes I'm perceived as intimidating (when aggravated), blunt, stubborn, stern, but when I "behave well", I just come off as shy...

Though I'm not called mean by those people, those are the kind that make my existence difficult the most. I think they are mean.

My bad. I thought it was put in quote things so that it doesn't offend people but still actually meant ''mean''. I must have mis-read the OP's message.