13 Jan 2012, 4:26 pm
13 Jan 2012, 4:36 pm
13 Jan 2012, 4:39 pm
13 Jan 2012, 4:47 pm
13 Jan 2012, 4:54 pm
Peter_L wrote:
I don't agree that the main problem is not having appropriate social skills, simply because I have them and likewise with confidence. (although you certainly have a point with esoteric interests and forbidden knowledge!)
You see, the thing is that socials skills come in all shapes and sizes. I couldn't get along with people my age, simply because I couldn't possibly deal with partying and going out and getting drunk as a form of entertainment and i'm not immature enough to fit in with them in the first place. I don't even bother trying these days.
However, I can and do get along pretty well with older people. My working relationships are frankly better than virtually any NT's and I can get along perfectly well with the people down at the shooting club, and I guess i'm friends with a chap from a previous workplace. He's got a little sailing yacht which requires two people to sail properly and one of my interests (obsessions, maybe?) is naval history, and I didn't learn tens of thousands of years of history without learning the important theoretical basics of sailing. His partner hates sailing, and the yacht by extension, which means we go sailing and meet up with people at a pub and defrost afterwards when the weather suits. It's not done for the last month, obviously!
Now, I can deal with that. Yet, I do not have a group I would define as "friends". I would say that at a very basic level, I am not interested in socialising. A good long introspective look at my entire life suggests to me that all of my friendships have been basically based around common interests. When one of us has given up on those interests, I have failed to keep in touch with them.
In turn I shall now await someone shooting my theory to bits with their life experience with great interest.
You see, the thing is that socials skills come in all shapes and sizes. I couldn't get along with people my age, simply because I couldn't possibly deal with partying and going out and getting drunk as a form of entertainment and i'm not immature enough to fit in with them in the first place. I don't even bother trying these days.
However, I can and do get along pretty well with older people. My working relationships are frankly better than virtually any NT's and I can get along perfectly well with the people down at the shooting club, and I guess i'm friends with a chap from a previous workplace. He's got a little sailing yacht which requires two people to sail properly and one of my interests (obsessions, maybe?) is naval history, and I didn't learn tens of thousands of years of history without learning the important theoretical basics of sailing. His partner hates sailing, and the yacht by extension, which means we go sailing and meet up with people at a pub and defrost afterwards when the weather suits. It's not done for the last month, obviously!
Now, I can deal with that. Yet, I do not have a group I would define as "friends". I would say that at a very basic level, I am not interested in socialising. A good long introspective look at my entire life suggests to me that all of my friendships have been basically based around common interests. When one of us has given up on those interests, I have failed to keep in touch with them.
In turn I shall now await someone shooting my theory to bits with their life experience with great interest.
I get you. We are different because we are naturally inclined away from Nt social mores
I feel the same. I have better things to do than stand around smiling and gossiping.
I'm autistic and prefer more intelligent people, maybe into science's, old and new, or my sport
Last edited by Surfman on 13 Jan 2012, 4:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
btbnnyr
Veteran
Joined: 18 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,359
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago
13 Jan 2012, 4:54 pm
artrat
Veteran
Joined: 6 Nov 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,269
Location: The Butthole of the American Empire
13 Jan 2012, 5:56 pm
13 Jan 2012, 7:00 pm
15 Jan 2012, 1:03 pm
15 Jan 2012, 4:02 pm
15 Jan 2012, 9:46 pm
Peter_L wrote:
I don't agree that the main problem is not having appropriate social skills, simply because I have them and likewise with confidence. (although you certainly have a point with esoteric interests and forbidden knowledge!)
You see, the thing is that socials skills come in all shapes and sizes. I couldn't get along with people my age, simply because I couldn't possibly deal with partying and going out and getting drunk as a form of entertainment and i'm not immature enough to fit in with them in the first place. I don't even bother trying these days.
However, I can and do get along pretty well with older people. My working relationships are frankly better than virtually any NT's and I can get along perfectly well with the people down at the shooting club, and I guess i'm friends with a chap from a previous workplace. He's got a little sailing yacht which requires two people to sail properly and one of my interests (obsessions, maybe?) is naval history, and I didn't learn tens of thousands of years of history without learning the important theoretical basics of sailing. His partner hates sailing, and the yacht by extension, which means we go sailing and meet up with people at a pub and defrost afterwards when the weather suits. It's not done for the last month, obviously!
Now, I can deal with that. Yet, I do not have a group I would define as "friends". I would say that at a very basic level, I am not interested in socialising. A good long introspective look at my entire life suggests to me that all of my friendships have been basically based around common interests. When one of us has given up on those interests, I have failed to keep in touch with them.
In turn I shall now await someone shooting my theory to bits with their life experience with great interest.
I agree with your post.As I have gotten older my social skills have improved and I get along very well with everyone at work but I think I do fail to form deeper connections with many people because I don't have the desire to make small talk and my interests are different .
You see, the thing is that socials skills come in all shapes and sizes. I couldn't get along with people my age, simply because I couldn't possibly deal with partying and going out and getting drunk as a form of entertainment and i'm not immature enough to fit in with them in the first place. I don't even bother trying these days.
However, I can and do get along pretty well with older people. My working relationships are frankly better than virtually any NT's and I can get along perfectly well with the people down at the shooting club, and I guess i'm friends with a chap from a previous workplace. He's got a little sailing yacht which requires two people to sail properly and one of my interests (obsessions, maybe?) is naval history, and I didn't learn tens of thousands of years of history without learning the important theoretical basics of sailing. His partner hates sailing, and the yacht by extension, which means we go sailing and meet up with people at a pub and defrost afterwards when the weather suits. It's not done for the last month, obviously!
Now, I can deal with that. Yet, I do not have a group I would define as "friends". I would say that at a very basic level, I am not interested in socialising. A good long introspective look at my entire life suggests to me that all of my friendships have been basically based around common interests. When one of us has given up on those interests, I have failed to keep in touch with them.
In turn I shall now await someone shooting my theory to bits with their life experience with great interest.
Phonic
Veteran
Joined: 3 Apr 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,329
Location: The graveyard of discarded toy soldiers.
15 Jan 2012, 9:56 pm
Phonic
Veteran
Joined: 3 Apr 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,329
Location: The graveyard of discarded toy soldiers.
15 Jan 2012, 10:05 pm
goodiesguy
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 14 Jan 2012
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 73
Location: New Zealand
16 Jan 2012, 9:58 am
