The dead are dead.

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Of course nobody can live forever, but you can do things to increase the longevity of other people's lives.

I have to say that I really don't understand what the OP is trying to get at here.


Even if we strip away the emotion, the tragedy of it, the world being worse for the loss, etc...

Even if we went as Aspie with our logic as absolutely possible, it still should be upsetting. Because it's a disruption in the pattern of things, a violation of routine. This person was a part of the routine, and now they're not.

At the very least, we should be able to regard it on that level, selfish though it may be.

If my own husband died, I would be very upset. I would be a single mother and be on my own and be financially unstable and things be stressful for me without him. It be too many changes in my life. Yeah I be upset for selfish reasons because he is the head of the household now and we are financially stable thanks to his income. It takes two to make us that.

If my own son died, I'd be very upset because I wouldn't have a son anymore and I be childless again. I don't want him dead. I like having him around.

Hello!

Though we must all die at some point, and people with AS have empathy issues, my religious beliefs help me to see death as only a temporary separation. I perceive the breakup of a relationship with a love interest to be far more devastating to me than the death of even a close relative, which is something I'm certain a lot of us here share...

Have A Great Day!

Rob

I think death is sad because the person who dies will never experience joy again, or anything.

Isn't that profoundly sad?

I not sure what point the OP is trying to make.

Just because we know that death is inevitable we shouldn't care? Is that it?

As a consequence of being human I have emotions and therefore feel sadness and grieve. It is not a choice.

It seems he's trying to understand why he feels differently than others. Applying logic to it is how "we" go about these things.

People with ASDs have various "deficits" in emotional regulation for others and themselves. Some don't experience certain emotions, whereas others experience them greater than normal; there's so many ways this can manifest.

I was under the Impression that "inability to properly express grief" is an Aspie symptom while "inability to feel grief" is not.

I mean, I'm diagnosed and have read a lot of information,on the subject, but I'm not an expert. Maybe I'm just applying my own experiences here, but it doesn't strike me as an Aspie symptom.

Nope, the inability to feel such is a possible symptom of an ASD.

I feel loss, though it's only for a rare few; not at all like how most people experience it. The OP just takes it a different way. The loss of routine might not be as marked as his emotional deficits are.

Logic doesn't go very far in explaining emotions.



Thanks for reminding me, I never would have known

Anyway, sarkiness aside, just because one has yet to experience grief does not mean it is not possible at some point in the future. It wasn't until my late thirties that I experienced the feeling for myself (it being somewhat a mystery until that point), and from a most unexpected quarter in that it wasn't a close relative. That loss caused 3 years of pain I couldn't have previously conceived of.

No, but when you have alexithymia (ASD symptom), there's not much else you can rely on other than logic/rational thinking for an explanation.

I've never really felt anything when anyone died except for one person and I lived with them all my life and saw them every day.

I wish that I could be as tough as the rest of you, but I'm not.

Oh, I am not tough. The wife and I tried a couple months back to save the life of a one-day-old orphaned kitten. The kitten did not make it.


I blubbered like an infant for nearly a week.

This. I think, at the very least, the initial part of grief is to do with the above. Because someone who was a part of your 'routine' suddenly no longer is, and it's a shock to the system. This can be expressed as crying, a hollowness, etc. I think as you get used to the idea of them not being there the grief evolves and it's then expressed in different ways.

All I really know is there are as many variations of expressing loss (and feeling it) as there are people, and there is no right or wrong way to do so - it's all valid. What's more, you never can tell how you will be with the loss of anyone, in advance.

Yeah, this.

I was devastated when my grandmother on my mother's side died, because I lost a valuable emotional resource. I cried for days after my first cat was run over by a car, and had a major depression after I had to have another cat put to sleep. And I was sad for a while when I read that George Carlin had died, because I was a huge fan of him. But other than that, I've never mourned a deceased person / creature.

Several of my aunts and uncles have died, and in all cases I've simply shrugged when I got the news and went on with my life. I was actually kind of glad for them in two cases, because I knew they had been suffering from cancer. But I had no emotional connection to them and wasn't going to miss them, so it just wasn't a big deal for me. When my parents die, it won't be a big deal either. That's probably a horrible thing to say, but it's true. They are no part of my life anymore, so why would I possibly feel sad.