What is the most "non-autistic" thing about you?

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for me, it's my percieved eye-contact; even professionals trained in autism support have difficulty noticing that my eye contact is actually fake

Pete Doherty?

Reading the 'Aspergian or as*hole?' thread, I was actually able to give relationship advice to people, so I guess I'm not bad with that either.

Although I was very clumsy as a kid, I am actually very graceful now. *Ahem* I used to dance professionally

I can talk about a wide variety of topics but not typically topics of small talk IF the conversational partner is receptive, i.e. can tolerate my quirks and speaking style.

I can fake NT for a while pretty well if I'm forced to.

After socializig I don't need much time to unwind.

I can do pretty well in most school settings.

Unfortunately I suck at humor when it comes to interacting with others.

If I have a plan in my mind, usually I can follow it through until I reach my goal.

(Oops, double post, stupid smartphone.)

I'm very good at using the phone.

Things that DON'T make me Autistic

Can do small talk, enjoy gossip
Have a sense of humour
Don't speak in monotone
Use facial expressions, tone of voice, hands expressions, etc
Don't stim
Don't get bothered when being touched or cuddled
Try hard not to look different to other people
Can empathise
Make normal eye contact
Can understand what people are explaining to me before they finish what they're saying
Not in my own world
Generally understand jokes, sarcasm, and other expressions like that
Understand other people's facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, emotions, thoughts, and intentions
Can feel emotion at right times
Good at lying, not always honest
Can express feelings and thoughts very easily and a lot
Not very clever, about underaverage intelligence

Things that DO make me Autistic
High anxiety/irritation/anger over small things that aren't a common anxiety in the general population
Get overwhelmed with too many people and noise
Find social situations difficult, suffer a lot of social anxiety because of it
Have angry outbursts involving hitting myself and screaming and yelling profanity
Sensory issues with hearing
Have obsessions what take over my mind and life
Get overwhelmed or anxious or depressed if routine is changed
Difficulties remembering small but important things, ie remembering to put make-up on, wash face, etc (need to be reminded to do these things)
Very poor low self-esteem


That's basically it, really.

I am witty and have a satirical sense of humour, even though I'm not very talkative and don't show emotion in my face. What will usually happen is that I'll be within a group, listening to the conversation but not participating (probably staring at something that has caught my interest) and suddenly I will pipe up with a pun or phrase. It takes everybody by surprise because they didn't think I was listening. They'll normally laugh and tell me I'm funny, but by that point I've already ducked out of the conversation again.

I have a very expressive voice and face, no deadpan (although I can do a deadpan very well if I try). I'm also pretty decent at imitating voices, I used to do Eddie Murphy perfectly.

I can't stand organization of any kind. The world as I see it is chaos, and so I need my things to also be chaotic. No neat lines or routines, it has to be random.

I have a pretty fair sense of humour. It's a weird one but I can make most people laugh. I don't have to try either, just my honest insights in to things tend to make people laugh and say they never saw it that way before.

I can be quite confident in social situations if I'm enjoying myself, up front and loud.

I like to be touched. Not by just anyone, mind you. But I like being touched by people I find attractive. Not that I've ever actually had a relationship before, but I imagine I'd like to be touched by my partner in a relationship: often and intimately, in fact. And I'd be quite fond of cuddling. Other than that, I can relate to pretty much every other AS trait to some extent.

Well, I dunno about the touch thing. I like it from people I have an emotional bond with & if I know when to expect (or give)it..
My sense of humor
I will defend myself against bullies (male anyway. Women are just SNEAKY)

I think those are the only two. And sometimes my humor is ill-timed or not understood. In which case I used to follow this rule: "If you cannot make 'em laugh leave 'em wondering what the He** you said!"

Sincerely,
Matt