MindWithoutWalls wrote:
I'd like to get diagnosed soon, simply because I'm eager to get done with it. I'm pretty certain I have Asperger's, but I don't know if I'll qualify as having ASD under the new definition. Then again, I find some of the questions on the online tests difficult to understand, so maybe I'm finding the new definition, as it's proposed to be written, hard to understand. The trouble is that I can't always wrap my mind around the things a question or piece of the definition might mean, and sometimes it's hard for me to think of examples that fall into the right category. I can't seem to realize the range of what's being referred to, for some reason. (Could this be part of what being too literal or lacking imagination mean?) For example, I didn't know I might be stimming, because I don't flap my hands, rock, or rub my hands together. Those were the examples provided, and it didn't even occur to me what else might be considered similar enough. It wasn't until I read many more examples, while reading posts here and reading books, that I realized I might be stimming by bouncing around, shaking my fists, humming repeated sets of notes, rubbing my teeth in the same spot with my tongue all the time, clenching my fists, tensing my jaw with my teeth apart in a way that makes a rumbling sound in my ears, and maybe a bunch of other stuff not springing to mind at this moment (most of these being things others either can't see or wouldn't realize were unusual because of the context in which I allow myself to do them). I also sometimes have a delay in realizing what something might mean or simply in being able to recall examples that might apply.
I think my big worries are these:
1) that I won't get another chance to get assessed;
2) that I won't understand questions, or will have delayed comprehension or memory of examples, and therefore won't be able to answer accurately;
3) that the right questions won't get asked in the first place, so that I'm sunk if I can't think of everything myself;
4) that the person assessing me will dismiss anything I bring up myself;
5) that the degree to which I experience difficulty won't be recognized or taken seriously because of the degree to which I've learned to compensate, mask, and hide so as to appear more "normal";
6) that things that might be spectrum related will be dismissed as related to other conditions, such as depression, anxiety, and even fibromyalgia (all three of these being things I've experienced, but who knows what else will get blamed if they decide to add some other diagnosis that might be really inappropriate, as I'm finding is especially common with women) or even just something like that stupid, "You're a cross-dresser, learn to change your clothes so people won't think you're weird," business all over again.
At least #3, #4, #5, and #6 have already happened the first time around. I'm not sure if #2 did. I don't know if the degree to which these types of things might derail a proper diagnosis will be greater under the new definition of ASD or not.
I was given a standard informal interview while my caretaker (mother) was present about how I was in childhood e.g., how I played, how I socialized, etc.
I was also given some self-reports and some to give to people who knew me well outside of my caretakers. I had a hard time filling out all the questionaires because I didn't understand some of the questions being asked.
I was given the typical autism test of imagined play: I had to 'read' a story, using my own words, as none were provided, just the pictures. I was also given a puzzle to put together, which I didn't complete because I failed to make eye contact to know she was holding it up the whole time. I had to also make a story up using small props.
I also had to talk about how I felt about certain things. I also got to talk more about my perceptions of things, my relationships with others.
I was very nervous myself about the whole process. I also gave her previous psychological evaluations I received for non-verbal learning disorder, which included about 15 different tests notwithstanding the Weschler Adult Intelligence battery.
You need 80% of the 'puzzle' to receive the diagnosis. 8/10 categories need to be filled when they properly assess you. It is best to start thinking about your life as it pertains to what the DSM is inquiring about. Try to reaquaint yourself, with yourself. I am not saying to diagnose yourself, but to simply see all the mishaps you have had through the lens of ASD. Troubles developing peer relationships appropriate with age (I was always the teacher's pet), having the sense that you were always out-of-sync with other people your age, hard time tying shoes, hard time with motor when younger like riding a bike, tying your shoes, or any difficulties with 'potty training' - terrible phrase.
I suggest reading Tony Attwoods guide to Asperger's SYndrome. I know there's a free PDF of it flying our the internet somewhere. It helped me calm my nerves down a lot and jogged my long-term memory, which should be very good if you have AS.
Also it is normal for people with AS to have a hard time filling out forms, questionaires, and that sort of thing. Especially in regards to our internal states. It is normal when given NT questionaires to come up as psychotic, because Freudian psychology still thinks autism is a psychosis. A good psychologist will use these ques as an indicator for autism.
21 Jan 2012, 6:25 pm
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