Am I being unreasonable expecting him to get a job?

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the posters before me pretty much said everything i was thinking. whether or not he has AS is not really relevant, especially since he will not consent to a diagnosis anyway. counselling will help you - as people said, you might be going alone but it will help you get the strength to make some hard decisions. there is lots of free counselling available if you go through your local crisis centre and ask around from there.

essentially, what you are experiencing from him sounds like escalating abuse (emotional/physical/verbal). if he doesn't get any sort of counselling or meds or other kinds of help, there is really not much chance he will improve on his own. he may be depressed, he may have AS, he may have any number of problems. but if he doesn't get any support for those problems it doesn't really matter. he may or may not be able to work, but that doesn't excuse him from all responsibilities.

you are best of taking care of yourself and your child and establishing a nurturing environment that is free from any abuse. you
may need to think hard about whether you can establish that environment with your husband in the picture.

Well I would say he should maybe look into some help for those anger issues, it's not cool he gets that rough with you but it's you're relationship so if you want to stay in it I would maybe talk to him about that because even if he is stressed he needs to be careful not to do anything stupid that would cause harm to you or the child.

As for the job thing, getting a job can be much easier said than done especially for people on the spectrum.......I mean if the agreement is he's going to be the one earning income for the most part and that is the only way you are ok with he should get a job. But maybe there is room for compromise.....do you like working? I mean there would be nothing wrong with him staying home and doing the house work and taking care of the kid while you work........but if you don't feel that's ideal or that you could not earn enough what about maybe both of you working? I mean it could be he's too overwhelmed with the idea keeping the house, keeping everyone fed ect is all on him.

But yeah I don't really know because I have never been in that situation.

Pick up the phone yourself, dial the temp agency then put the phone in his hand.

My dad did that to his sister after she kept putting off going to nursing school. As a result of that little intervention she had a great career as a nurse. I know it's not the same situation but it's something that can work out well.

Pulling you off the couch in the way he did is ASSAULT pure and simple. You cannot have your daughter around that kind of behavior. Threaten him that if he ever does something like that again that you will call the police. Court mandated anger management may be the only way he goes.

Temp agencies handle all kinds of jobs, not just hard labor.

I've seen school districts handle substitute teachers in different ways most are through the school district though. I did substitute paraprofessional work through a temp agency. It would be a lower pressure option.

teachers can do lots of other jobs, like office assistant, teaching assistant, program manager, child care worker, retail clerk, sales agent, call centre worker, etc. i have been working for the government in a call centre since i left teaching.