What are some social cues that you can't recognize?

Post Reply New Topic

Yep, something like this.

I cannot tell if someone is attracted to me or is flirting with me.

Unless they are very obvious I cannot tell if someone likes me.

I cannot tell how relationships are going when I am in them, so I have to keep asking, which makes me look insecure.

I don't always know when to shut up apparently, yet around some people I hardly speak at all (was likened to one of those nodding dogs recently because I rarely spoke and just used the 'nod and smile' technique a lot). However, other people tell me to shut up a lot because I am going on and on about the same subject and they are bored. Mind you, the nodding thing is because sometimes I cannot process or hear what the other person is saying. I have had entire conversations with someone where I did nothing but nod because I could not make out a word of what they were talking about all evening...(either their speech was too fast, I was distracted by background noise or my brain didn't want to socialise at that time and kept zoning out lolololol).

Cannot tell when I should and shouldn't approach someone to talk to them sometimes.

Can read obvious things like someone beckoning me through a door etc, it's the subtle stuff I struggle with. I look like a shy NT on the surface though and indeed I could be a socially slow NT, but I do have other oddities as well that may well be related to a possible ASD.

Flirting. I am never sure if a person is flirting or not, unless it gets really obvious (at which point it's also likely to get invasive or rude).

Yeah me too. I notice a lot of signals going on but have no idea what they mean.

Flirting etc.

When I was in my twenties and staying with a friend a girl I knew invited me to stay with her in her flat. I went there and as night came around I asked where I should sleep, as there was only one room. She said "In the bed". So I got in the bed. She then did a few things she had to do and got into the bed, too. Because I had no idea how to interpret the situation and didn't want to make an unwanted advance I didn't react but pretended to be asleep. Some time later a mutual friend told me that that had been an invitation to an intimate liaison and that I had failed to interpret the situation correctly.

I'm not sure how to enumerate things I'm not aware of.

I can't tell when someone is bored and doesn't really want to listen to me talk on and on about something

Unless someone is very high or very drunk I can't tell that they're intoxicated

If I'm staying at someones house for a few days I can't tell when they want me to do dishes or help with something else unless they ask me directly. I stayed at someones house for a month or so and she never asked me to do anything and it turns out she was REALLY pissed and got some people on a message board to flame me.

I don't get the flirting thing either. People will say something like 'that person is flirting with me' and to me things look entirely normal.

I usually stay way too late at things and am usually the last one to leave even if I was bored the entire time.

I'm sure there are more but I don't realize it. LOL

I don't recognize flirting, hints, or body language.

Basically, people have to tell me exactly what they mean/think for me to understand, so genrally i just float about and pretend i know what is going on when really i have no idea.

I know all the social cues, but I can't always be bothered to obey them.

Who does, anyway?

I can't tell if a girl is flirting with me or being interested in me. Girls have been interested in me in the past, I just didn't realize it until a few weeks after, but that's it. I also couldn't read if people didn't like me or not, but with experince, I learned. But it ain't all bad, one of my friends can't read if a girl is physcially or emotionally flirting with him and he's a NT

Seconded, and overall I probably miss just about everything else as well, but because I can't recognize them, I'll never really know.

I don't know when is the right time to leave or if I am outstaying my welcome either. Conversely, I took way too long to realise some visitors were expecting me to show them to the door recently when they stood up looking at me.

Sometimes don't know if it's my turn to speak.

I have no idea when or how many times you are supposed to offer visitors a tea/coffee, so I normally ask them the second they come in the door.

My husband frequently leaves the room when I am talking to him, I think because I have talked way too much and he knows I won't stop so he just leaves (very rude!)

I am clueless about whether people are being genuinely friendly or have ulterior motives (so I am suspicious of everyone).

I would only know someone was bored if they kept looking at their watch, turned round the other way or yawned many times.

I am clueless as to whether as a guest the host/ess expects me to help, to offer to wash up etc.

I don't know if I'm supposed to shake someone's hand or not and probably loads of other things.

This, especially since diagnosis. It's like I stopped trying, and I no longer have the patience People have told me that I can't pick up on other people's mood, I misinterpret people and that I have no social skills.

I guess, in retrospect, that I've missed a lot of cues that I was supposed to make polite conversation, expected to say some specific "nice" thing (I often get the feeling I'm expected to say something and don't know what, but when I ask an NT later they think it was obvious), when someone doesn't approve of something I'm saying, or when something is supposed to be kept secret from a third party.

It's enough to make talking to people face-to-face generally not worth the trouble.

Hitting on me.
When to speak(I try to find the social cues though and I have gotten better at it but still make errors)
When someone has moved on from a topic

I can't tell if someone is just ignoring me or can't hear me. I just don't keep asking the same thing over and over because in the past, people would get mad at me. Unless it's that obvious like if we were in the same room and it wasn't very loud and I ask them loud and clear and still don't answer, then that is a social cue I can obviously see that they are just being rude.

Flirting
What things I should keep to myself when someone tells me things



I think there are others but I can't think of any. I know I miss a lot of them but I don't know when I am doing it. I have just been told is all that I miss them. I think I can read some like if someone doesn't have a good opinion of me, it means they don't like me. If they are treating me bad, it means they don't like me. I have recently learned that people will ask you a question as their way of telling you something like "Excuse me, do realize you just cut in front of all these people?" their way of telling you you cut in line so get to the back. But then my mother told me it doesn't always mean that, okay so I am confused then and can't tell when someone means what they say when they ask you something or mean something else. Also does misreading social cues counts as missing them or not reading them?