What's the biggest obstacle to socializing for you?

Post Reply New Topic

My biggest obstacle? Humans!

My biggest obstacle is lack of interest in socializing. And I don't really consider that an obstacle.

Aside from that, most of what is already mentioned in this thread is an issue for me. But what all of that leads to, for me, is frustration and impatience and exhaustion. So I would say that's my biggest issue in dealing with people. I just get tired of people. I can only interact with a person for so long before I get tired. With most people I meet, that time limit is very, very short.

I just don't feel the need I've never been one for socializing.

I don't like going out at night as its not safe anyway And when I go to the movies I just like to go not have the hassle of waiting around for someone to come and pick me up I just like to get on the bus and go.

The main obstacle is the fact that I simply don't want to socialise. I don't get lonely. I don't feel the need to share my life with other people.

I thought about it the other day. My problem may be different than most AS, and probably trauma related.

I can't stand it when someone is nice, I don't know how to react to compliments or affection, etc. So basically, I've always had two options:

* Find 'bad friends', because I react to conflict more easily than positive feelings.
* Find people who are quirky, emotionless, spaced out etc. ie, relationships where I've actually been the stronger/more emotional one.

The exception to these rules is one girl I was in love with.

Can absolutely relate to this!

I know that some people are going to be nice, but I can't just accept that, I'm always of the opinion that they have some form of ulterior motive.

This happened only a couple of days ago when I forced myself out of the door to a colleagues leaving night, and one of the newer guys said to me that it would be good to go out for a pint sometime, and almost immediately was thrown off by my confused look, couldn't think of anything 'right' to say to that.

Not having anywhere to go to meet people or a very large selection of people to begin with in this town.

Hmm.. that is my problem here, too. I would love to go out sometimes but I only know around 6 people here I would consider 'friends' and 5 of them love party, clubbing and making out and have nothing else to talk about. And the only one left lives across town and we only meet on msn.

Biggest obstacle here apart from that is the language problem. I live in a foreign country and even though I speak the language and I've been here for many years I'm still the foreigner and the majority of the native people here just wants to have small talk about "oooh why are you here and for how long have you been here don't you miss home ohhh ..." and most of the foreigners here are just interested in going out and exchanging their crazy clubbing stories and how many girls they hooked up with last night.
It's hard to find some like-minded people here that do not leave as soon as their internship ended

double post

Last edited by Alohilani on 19 Feb 2012, 9:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm not sure, which is really frustrating. I hate the idea of not having friends, but I can't deal with having too many and can't make any new one anyway. I just don't know how and when I do know what to do it's usually too stressful

People just don't listen to me when I speak, or pay attention to my presence.

People always misinterpret what I say despite me being blunt.

People always try to bully or insult me out of the blue

Let's see... I can relate to almost anything you guys said, so I'm confused. Besides, I'm not good in grasping the essence of things, not even myself. But if I had to pick up just one single reason for not being social that would be... I belong to a different species?! Never wanted to marry or have kids. Never was happy leaving with family members. Never had a true friend. Never believed in anything (god included). Never was popular in school. Never wanted to be. Am I dead? Not yet, I still like dogs and music.

my biggest obstacle is that i do not really care about what people say. i have a hard time paying attention to people because what they say is not interesting to me because they are not me.

people are themselves and they are not me, and so they do not say things that are relevant to me.

i have no desire to leave the inside of my head to visit other peoples realities.
if i did not think it, i am not interested to consider it.

i do like some people but i have no interest in how they see the world because it is irrelevant to me.

i will pay attention if someone needs my help, but i can not be bothered to disengage my own internal consciousness in order to incorporate anyone elses consciousness into my own.

i am fully occupied with my own mental reality, and other people's opinions and words are like looking at the moon. i do not want to live on the moon, and i am happy as i am. i have no capacity to go to the moon anyway, so the moon is just "up there" and i will die before i ever am capable of going there.

autism means "selfism" and it is not because of conceit or selfishness. i just have no capacity to think another persons thoughts.

Sense of humour, sarcasm and irreverence of others. Therefore, I fall foul of taking literal meanings again and again and again.

-I take things too personally and am oversensitive
-I am sometimes rather paranoid about peoples intentions
-I am great at pissing people off
-Even if I know of a lot of the social cues and body language I cannot identify and process it when actually interacting so I get it wrong and either make an idiot of myself or piss people off because getting it wrong
-I don't even know how to play social mind games so I don't even have the privilege of just snickering a bit when someone accuses me of such others might do if I caught them trying to play mind games....I actually get very confused and upset because I don't do things to get at other people, well I do but not intentionally.
-I like to do nice things for people, but many take advantage or don't appreciate it at all
So yeah I'm pretty socially ret*d and unless I can change that my via getting the hell over it and trying harder like people tell me my life will continue to suck horribly.

I hate mind games between people also and don't know how to play them, even if I could I wouldn't, because I think it's so mean.