Well I wont abide a hairdresser that wont listen...they work for me...not the other way around.
I recomend shopping around and looking for another place to get your hair cut.
I have curly, frizzy dry hair that with a good trim and the right leave in conditioner looks great.
However most hair stylists dont know how to cut curly hair, so when looking for a new stylist, I use the phonebook first and call around and ask them if they are good at cutting curly hair. Once I find a good stylist, I usually stick with 'em.
As far as communication goes, never tell them to cut it like you did last time, unless you are a regular with the same haircut for 3 years or more. They cut hundreds of heads of hair between the time of your last cut and cant remember exactly how it was done.
Matter of fact I got the worst haircut of my life this way. See when I was in jr. high...I wore my hair in a spiked mullock (I am female btw, but it was the late 80's so anything was possible when it came to weird hair) Well I grew tired of that look and took a picture of how I wanted my new haircut...it turned out great! I even was able to get some friends during this time. (rather shallow friends though) Then after the haircut started growing out, I went back and told her to give me the same cut as last time, and she gave me a spike on top and rope curls in the back. I quickly lost my new found popularity and ended up in a deep depression.
But the best way to get the right cut is to find a picture of a model or actor or whatever with the cut you want, bring that in...it really helpsthe hairdressers get a visual of what you want. Keep that picture with you...bring it in each time.
As far as snotty hairdressers and ones that dont listen...even if you have to travel farther, keep looking till you find one that you like.
Also wash your hair that morning and tell them that you did, so they dont feel the need to wash your hair. If they want to just tell them you are allergic to most salon products.
hope that helps.
Jojo
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All art is a kind of confession, more or less oblique. All artists, if they are to survive, are forced, at last, to tell the whole story; to vomit the anguish up.
-James Baldwin