Lamenting one's potential.

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I recognise way too much of myself in that. I also got the feeling it's too late.

For me the feeling is strong- mainly because I love learning and non-fiction topics so much, I am astounded that no educator picked up on my major differences in my teens. They thought it was ADD, and laziness , that I just "did what I wanted" and was irresponsible - that I was lazy or defiant towards education - like I didn't take it seriously. Even my parents did. It is a sore subject for me, because when I am talking about a topic I love, I often hear "where did you go to school" - and I have to say "I didn't." I am disappointed in myself having to say that every time... mostly because I WOULD have, if I was able to. I was scared away from it a decade ago. Now I find I'm stuck financially, while everyone else around me is beginning a career with schooling behind them. My biological interests are relegated to "hobby" in the minds of others. I have been told "you should have stayed in school" by more people that I care to count, who have seen my strong skill in memory.

I'm tired of letting the paradox hold me back. I know I can do school.

If you were my son (and five years old) I would say:

You do not like them.
SO you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may I say.

It's never too late, I have heard stories of 80 years still pursuing education. You are more likely to regret something you don't do, than something you do..

All the best

You know honestly college is not all its cut out to be, a lot of people with degrees still have trouble finding employment. So I personally don't think you should see yourself as a failure for avoiding that mess. I mean you have to pay to go, if you cant afford it you probably have to take out loans but there is no real guarantee you will find work in the field you study.

But if you still want to go its certainly not 'too late' you could probably enroll at a community college any time...and work your way up to a four year college. But don't go to avoid disapointing your family, its not worth it for that reason....it has to be something you really want for yourself otherwise its likely to just put you in debt and stress you out.

I love online courses, just avoiding the issues and distractions in the classroom has helped me a ton.

I wasn't able to find a lot of options with lax admission standards after weeding out all the for profit degree mills. i'm in a non-profit, totally online career college now (sounds sketchy but it's really not a degree mill) and it has made life so much easier.

Also my degree won't say it was earned online, there are lot of ground campuses for this college in my state( I hope an employer never asks for transcripts o.O)

Well yeah. I feel depressed and oppressed under the Taiwanese school system. I can't express my gifts and potential although I get really good grades.