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Giving up on being social

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namaste
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28 Mar 2012, 12:47 pm

just talk general topic with them about weather, stock market dont start the topic about feelings
people are stone hearted you can talk such topics here on WP


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Deinonychus
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28 Mar 2012, 5:56 pm

questor wrote:
Most people feel dumped on when someone tries to share their feelings. This is something that is better done with a shrink, not a friend or acquaintance. Most people feel that you expect them to "fix the boo boo" when you dump your feelings on them, and that is a turn off. They don't want to be your shrink unless they are a shrink. So just stick with sharing interests, but not too much in the way of feelings.


If you have a really good friend who is as big a mess as you are yourself you can share your feelings with them because you share being a mess with them as a common interest and so you can understand them and they can understand you. I had a friend like that for a couple of decades even if we did grow apart in the end.



LongJohnSilver
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28 Mar 2012, 6:06 pm

A friend who is willing to listen to all of your problems is a very special friend indeed. To date I have only found one such friend, and that was my mother, God rest her soul. I generally deal with my problems myself now, because I have found no one else willing to listen to all of my problems without that person charging me $75 - $100 per hour for the privilege.

My best friends have always been people who share my interests. I have built upon that shared interest and made friends in this way. If a friend isn't a family member and doesn't share at least one common major interest, I have no chance of making him or her a "best friend". Even so, it takes a lot of hard work to build such a friendship. I currently have no good friends within a thousand miles of my home, either because such friends have moved away or because they have died, and I have no prospects of new good friends in the near future. - LJS


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28 Mar 2012, 6:08 pm

I dunno. My friend can tell me when she feels like sh** or that she's going to slice her wrists up but when I start talking about my symptoms she doesn't say anything. The most she says is 'don't panic' or 'try to have a good time.' I'll try my best to not panic about my severe sensory issues in a noisy concert hall.

I don't really need to be close to people. I find it easier having a blog and having others reply to it. I've always struggled with being open to people so it comes a shock to me to find out that people don't actually want you to share your own personal feelings.
People are just so damn confusing. It's no wonder they shut me down when I manage to get a few personal feelings out.


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Who_Am_I
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28 Mar 2012, 11:21 pm

If someone came up to me and started sharing feelings with no established friendship, this would be me:

Image


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