Can introverts become more assertive as they get older?

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Not disagreeing but I think there were some studies suggesting that on average introverts do tend to be more shy and less assertive than extroverts. For example:

http://www.amsciepub.com/doi/abs/10.246 ... alCode=pr0
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7994215

Last edited by Kon on 27 Mar 2012, 4:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I have trouble feeling assertiveness. In the meanwhile I learned definitions of what it is (they say you have to "stand up" for yourself, and then I picturize myself standing up from a chair), but I cannot feel the meaning of expressions like this. Meaning I am still who I am as shy and introvert (except sometimes talking about a field of interest) or "acting over" my shyness as I have always been, though I have read about these topics, but I cannot connect these phrases with a feeling.

I have never been assertive and likely never will in regards to social communication.I have learned to express my feelings in other ways more through my actions but not necessarily through the verbal spoken word.

Chiming in here with the people who say that "introverted does not equal unassertive". Introverted just means you prefer to spend time alone and with small groups of people, and don't enjoy big noisy gatherings. It doesn't mean that you have trouble standing up for yourself; in fact, introversion probably doesn't have anything to do with that. Extroverts often have trouble standing up for themselves, too--they are very involved with other people, and they have more trouble listening to themselves than introverts do.

If you're asking whether unassertive people can become assertive as they get older--then, yes, of course. Teens are naturally unsure of themselves; half the point of the teenage years is to define your own identity. As you get older you learn more about what you want and what your values are, and so are more prepared to stand up for those things.

Assertiveness is paramount. Introverts (and extroverts) can definitely learn assertiveness over time. They have to after all, in a world which is dog-eat-dog socially. It's hard for someone to keep up assertiveness though if they end up traumatised over and over again, and are vulnerable to that, due either to external aggressions or internal resilience or both. And that's precisely my personal challenge as regards assertiveness.

YES!

err...sorry, I mean yes, I think it's possible. I've become so but it's taken decades.

I was very introverted as a teenager and as a young adult, it took me into my late 20s to become more assertive. No I don't take s**t from anyone

I was between 32- 33 and someone I knew said right up front to me," people will bowl you over." And he motioned with his arm throwing a bowling ball down the alley. It was directed at me, and he was showing me what I look like.

I got it. The "shyness" force ended.

I know but I couldn't find another word that fits ''someone who finds it hard to stand up for theirself'' so I thought I'd shorten it to ''introvert'', since it comes under that category.

Yes, finally in my 40's I have become more assertive. I'm tired of people taking advantage of me!

It's definitely possible. I was very shy as a child and sometimes people would take advantage of me simply because I wouldn't tell them not to and they knew that I wouldn't. As an adult I'm introverted, but not shy. That is to say, I can speak up when I feel it's necessary to protect my interests. At some point I realised that nobody else will do it, so the choice was to do it myself or continue to feel bitter and resentful all my life.

I learnt over time that we have much more control over our emotions than we tend to think (maybe it's just Aspies, maybe everyone). You are only embarrassed if you choose to be. That may be hard to believe for some people, but at some point I realised that, actually, I could just tell someone to get stuffed and there are often no real consequences. Of course, this is much easier to do as an adult than as a child and even then you have to be a bit careful - it may be a bad idea to do that to your boss. But you could totally do that to some marketer or charity collector who is trying to pressure you into giving them money, for example.

"Passive" or "acquiescent", maybe?
And yes, I do think it is possible to become more assertive.