I want my kid to have autism

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Are you serious?

Get him the vaccines on schedle!

Also, buy him lots of computers and get DVD's of The Big Bang Theory.

Plaid pants are a must, as are science and superhero related t-shirts.

Feed him his meals in only one special plate and fork, and get him so that he refuses any other (I actually have my own favorite plate, bowl, glass and utensils that I prefer, but I can use anything - I will use my favorites at home every single time though, and I'll wash them if they are dirty)

When giving him his allowance, have an elaborate system of good points and bad points with numerical value that relate to how much money he gets and have a very advance algabraic equation that he has to use to work out the amount before you give it to him. When he's older, say 5 or 6, switch to something harder like calculus.

Send him to math camp, starting now.

Even if his vision is 20/20, get him glasses. Preferably like Spencer Reid on Criminal Minds.

No social interaction at all. Do not let him have friends over, go to their houses, or talk on the phone. Tell him they won't like him anyway, so why bother.

Push the teachers to give him an incredably hard course load so that he graduates high school when he's 12. Send him to MIT. Then after he graduates there, send him to Cal Tech.

Forget Disney World for vacations. Take him to CERN.

Thats all I can think of off the top of my head.

Good luck!!

On a serious note (in spite of the date): I already have three kids, all on the spectrum, and I certainly accept them as they are, and do not wish them to be any different. They all have so many special qualities there is no way to tell which of their best traits would no longer exist if their Autism were not there.

There is also this to be said: Since my wife and I are both on the spectrum, I have to wonder if we'd even know how to handle them if they were NT. Because we all are on the spectrum, at least we've learned to understand each other, and I don't have any idea if that would be possible if any one of us were not.

If this is an April Fools thread I'm gonna feel like a dumba**.

No need to feel that way. I've already been taken in by a few of them today.

The best advice ever, I am glad you have calmed down.

I wouldn't care one way or the other. If I had an autistic child, I might be able to understand him/her better than some NT parents might because I have it myself, though I do hope NTs can learn to understand better.

I wouldn't TRY and make my child autistic, but I wouldn't go to extreme measures to make my child NT either.

I would rather have an autistic child than an NT child just because I believe it is important to understand and help your children, and I think this might be easier if my child was autistic in my case. Some parents want their child to be a certain gender, for example, my parents were hoping for a girl, but they wouldn't have aborted me or put me up for adoption if I were a boy.

So the bottom line is, though I may prefer my kid to be autistic, I wouldn't do anything to make them autistic, and would still love my child even if she/he was NT.

I'd personally go further and have him 150 feet underground, have you ever considered that he may have a window open?

Though unfortunately it's April 2 now.

Are you freaking serious?! So it WAS all an April Fools joke? *facepalm to self*

I have NOT calmed down! I'm STILL not letting your bribery go unpunished!! ! I'm just being nice over here, that's all. I still think you are a bribing, baking, post office paying suck up!! !! !!

I was just being nice here, even though you are a mean girl, I thought it best that the other posters not be exposed to the depths of your trechary and the lengths you will go to get what you want.

Only a birthday cake INDEED!

INDEED SIR!! !! IN DEED!! !! !

Not here, and I'm stubbornly staying in character until midnight my time

Seriously:

My four are NT's and I don't think you would have a problem relating to them. After all, you will be raising them so they will understand you more than other kids would.

One thing that having AS has helped me in raising NT kids with is that I'm pretty straightforward and honest about almost everything with them. Except for things like Santa and the Easter bunny, they got total honesty from me about why they could or couldn't do something, and about things like sex and drugs. I have no embarrassment whatsoever in talking about that (but I do no social protocol and I don't talk to my kids about my sex life) but they have never had any reason to be embarrassed about talking to me about any problems they have etc. Even their friends come to me because I'm straightforward with them and treat them like peers and don't try and lie to them. Mine are actually able to get the truth from me when they ask "Is pot dangerous?" so they will believe me when they ask something like "Is ecstacy dangerous?" I also tend to way overexplain stuff and give them all the reasons why something is or isn't dangerous, and I also give them different people's views on it and how things are perceived by different people, so they understand why some people act like they do about certain subjects.

I couldn't do the baby talk thing, or even talk down to them or talk to them like children when they were little. I figured that if they were spending the whole day with me, we should be able to understand each other, so I talked to them like I would another adult, and explained things to them that they didn't udnerstand. It didn't hamper their development at all. In fact, they are all very popular. They are aslo much more accepting of peoples differences too.

If "they're" right, you could give your child Schizoid PD (look up the causes), though I think there needs to be a predisposition for it too.

That's close enough to autism.

Still the 1st here. I am serious here. I do want my kid to be autistic so I can feel special and collect more money from Social Security.

I m aware that its April First.