Stuck in my head - high social awareness, yet can't connect

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Sounds great, but how did it help you when it wore off? I wouldn't want to become dependent on something like that to make me feel like me. I want me to make me feel like me.

Stay away from the MDMA is my advice, it is amphetamine family, it makes you feel like a superhero for a brief moment, but coming down off it is horrible!

Lots of stuff made sense. The feelings were fleeting but the understanding has remained for years. When I was in love with a girl I recognised the feeling as very similar to being on MDMA with my friends, which was a helpful pointer that things were going the right way.

I have been on MDMA and that's not what being NT feels like. I hope you don't think that. That feeling of connection on MDMA is about 100000X more than what any NT feels naturally so please don't use it as a tool to normalize yourself. I see what you mean about the connection you felt afterward but you could ahve felt that without taking MDMA, probably.

I mean, just don't over do it lol. The comedown from that stuff is awful and the lingering effects lasted for around 6 months for me. I've probably taken it 10 times total, I don't know how the people who I watched do it way more often got through life.

No, it feels like being in love normally. Also there's the pre-conscious stuff, the instinctive doing the right thing, as an NT you don't know what you're not missing here, but it can be largely overcome with oxytocin/MDMA - and once you've tried it, the insight, if not the ability, persists.

MDMA was gaining some reputable uses with therapists before it was illegal. A low therapeutic dose was a great counselling tool as it allowed people to open up.

I somewhat agree that MDMA is not a true NT feeling, but it'll probably be the closest that an aspie can get to feeling empathic.

The problem is that the effects are temporary, although I think it helped me a little long term. With continued use it doesn't work the same way either.

It is illegal and It can kill.

Jason.

No it doesn't, unless you really had weak MDMA. I guarantee you NTs are not wired the way you think they are if you think we all have the same kind of instincts as you do when you take ecstasy.

I can see why an Aspie would like to catch a glimpse of what it's like to feel deeply but it's certainly not a glimpse of normalcy in the case of MDMA.

That said, the drug may affect the connection you're feeling while on it if you start out with less of a connection in the first place but as powerful as the MDMA I have had was I'm pretty sure you'd be feeling more than what any NT can feel without it.

Trust me, you don't know what I'm talking about, but mahler_freak and marshall do. Another thing I noticed on MDMA was hostility to outsiders. I totally got the pre-conscious in-group/out-group effects that make social stuff effortless. Oxytocin does the same thing without the high, but why skip the high? Whatever you want, I guess.

I could see how what you experienced would be more like what a true NT extrovert experiences., that is so rare though. Even extroverted NTs don't feel that way all the time and certainly not as HIGH as you do when your on E.

You seem to think some of us don't have all that weirdness with people too or the forcefield thing that keeps us from connecting-that is not unique to Aspies IMO. The extent to which an Aspie experiences it is.

I just didn't want you to think it was that wonderful to be NT, I felt kind of bad honestly. I hope this isn't a widespread thing.

There is no objective way to measure this. People on drugs can't give great feedback. There is not much appetite for studies on therapeutic use of MDMA (particularly in the US), so we will never know.

Jason.

I know and I've said. You can do what you want. Nobody except you will care either way.

Real love doesn't make you grind your jaw and jump up and down like an idiot. It is based on genuine connection, respect, and common interest, not "hey look, we're on the same illegal drug at the same time!"

If you are looking to break down the communication barrier between you and the world beyond, then start with small, everyday things that you can control, is my advice. Build a framework of experience and self-confidence that you can add onto a little bit each day. There is no magic pill or quick fix.

Yeah, I used the word 'insight' very precisely.

It might make someone understand why some people enjoy getting together in large noisy groups, especially for someone so far into the introversion spectrum that it's otherwise impossible to comprehend the appeal of the "life of the party". Not that I'd ever be interested in changing fundamentally who I am, especially not with a physically addictive drug that is bound to make one miserable in the long run. I'm also not too interested in becoming a shallow idiot just so I can experience more social "warm fuzzies". I don't really see it as true empathy anyways. As far as I can tell not all people on the autism spectrum lack empathy or even the ability to understanding of the emotions of others.

I share many of your feelings, i am also in the purgatory of being autistic, i definitely am, but it doesn't show, and its not that severe. its severe to the point of trouble with socialization and anxiety. i also have some loathing for the world, its so hard to stay positive when i know ill probably never be satisfied with the world. i never connect with people, friends i have are almost like acquaintances, no matter what, i always feel lie im on the outside of things. like i don't belong or fit in, im guessing it will always be this way. i want to find one person i can trust and love enough to be my complete self with, i want them to accept me, and ill accept them. im waiting for this person. i have doubts that they're out there, but i have no other choice. i don't have close friends anymore. ive lost my touch with others. even i im having fun with others, i always feel as though im missing something.