What are your social-situation difficulties?

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I notice I tend to be really "paranoid" when out in public by myself, more so when I've got nothing to do or waiting for someone to pick me up. Not that I'm afraid anyone's actually out to get me, but rather that everyone just have their eyes on me and I've got to make myself look busy somehow.

- I have no interest in people who aren't like me.
- In the past I've been a yes man and said some trash I wish I hadn't about others.
- I get angry easily when overwhelmed socially
- If I can't escape socialization I always feel like I'll go nuts
- I've passed out a couple times at my call center job because Irate customers wouldn't let up and phone stalked me for hours/days at a time.
- I have a minor superiority complex about atypical people. I used to feel left out but now that I'm older I feel like a lot of "normal" social expectations are sheer nuts and choose not to participate. I come off as snobby sometimes due to this.
- I'm sure there's more but I usually try not to think about this stuff. I was raised to be "perfect".

- I don't understand small talk.
- I hardly ever understand jokes if they aren't exactly my kind of humour and I also have difficulties understanding if a person is serious or not.
- I dislike talking on the phone.
- I don't really know how to keep a conversation going when it comes to talking to new people or people I don't know well. Except if we're talking about something which really interests me.
- I can't be spontaneous when talking to strangers/acquaintances. I need to plan what I'm going to say in my head first.
- I often either interrupt people or wait too long to say something.
- I'm very quiet around people I don't know.
- In group situations I don't know how to act, where to have my arms etc.
- I ramble a lot and it can take me quite some time to get to the point.

Etc.

- get easily bored with small talk
- not always good at starting conversations
- I don't always speak clearly, and get frustrated when I have to continually repeat myself
- have mild audio-processing issues, and people aren't always understanding or patient about that
- I don't always pick up on sarcasm, or the other person assumes I took them seriously (this has gotten better though)

with me I'm OK with strangers, I'll talk to almost anyone but I just seem to ask loads of questions, and don't really answer any.

I'm best if situations are on my terms and I know whats going on, otherwise I tend to just drift off into a world of my own.

Sometimes if it gets rowdy I get confused, paranoid, scared and it will take me weeks to get over it because I keep recalling the situation.

eye contact is quite a strain but I do try to fight it, although I'm not sure whether I do it very well.

physical contact is a bit scarey, I'm not to sure how to reciprocate a hug, though I'm OK with a hand shake, and I hate it if someone sits next to me on the bus.

Social situations for me are something I have to prepare for before hand at length and I try to prepare for every eventuallity so that I'll know what to do.

This is a great thread! It's really helped me to put into words a lot of the things that make me identify as an Aspie. If someone was to just ask me "why do you think you are one?" I'd struggle to answer, but many of the listed things here apply to me. I've actually started writing them down now, categorised into "current traits", "past traits", "questionable" and "traits I never had".

Basically just not really fitting in with others very well. I have conversations with others and don't seem to have too much trouble with that, but others seem to be put off by me somehow.

I've been told I'm "very high functioning" but I still have some issues with social interaction. Most of the time I can't be bothered making conversation, let alone going out and doing something. Often talking to someone is out of politeness, hugging is sometimes awkward and I hate being on public transport. Could relate to everyone oh this thread

Bit surprised with the thread question.

I haven't read any of the responses, but a better question for me would be what aspects of socializing (if any) are you reasonably competent/successful with.

In answer to the opening question, print out the 'social' Asperger's diagnostic traits and throw darts at it....

- I talk too much and about things that people typically don't care to listen to;
- I'm always the one to understand jokes last, or I am the butt of the joke;
- Obviously I can't really interpret facial expression correctly;
- I feel a lot of anxiety and can't get past it when conversing with others;
- I often point and look at people I shouldn't be, and talk loudly about them, and the people I'm around shun me for it (no, I don't do it on purpose);
- I become very overwhelmed when multiple people are talking at me and everyone else in the group;
- I become overwhelmed when I am listening to all of the sounds and voices around me and trying to concentrate on one voice in the group;
- I use the wrong words often when I am conversing with people (I usually do well, but not always);
- I often find myself wanting to get lost in my own mind rather than listen to people gossip/talk about their uninteresting lives;
- I like to stare at people's... well, anything, if it's an interesting color, shape, whatever it be... and that can be awkward when people catch me doing it.

I'm sure there's more.

I can't really think of the difficulties I have straight away. I'm sure I have a lot of things that I don't actually realise are issues but these are the ones I really notice.

Eye contact. This is a MASSIVE one. I can make eye contact when I know someone well and I feel really comfortable around, but only fleeting. I talk to my teachers and stuff more than my peers, and I'm awful at looking them in the eye. One of my teachers once said "I want you to look me in the eye... well... look me in the shoulder..." which I found quite amusing, even though I don't really look at people at all but in some other vague direction.

I get very angry when people talk over me but people have a go at me because I end up doing it to other people.

A lot of people get angry with me because they say I'm ignoring them when really I just have nothing to say. Small talk is pointless so I don't really do it.

Then there's the obvious one where I can't really tell what people are thinking (though it baffles me that some people CAN tell what other people are thinking. I read in a book that NTs can mindread and that's what aspies and people on the spectrum can't do). So unless someone is crying or shouting or smiling I just cannot tell what they're thinking and then they get annoyed with me and start ranting which makes me angry in turn and I've ended up losing a few friendships through this.

I'm very pedantic and correct people. I also sound rude when talking to people which is partially linked to this.

The one that I've noticed recently isn't really WITHIN a social situation but it is kind of related. Basically, I don't make the first move. I don't text people first and I don't message or approach them. Mainly because I just much prefer being on my own, but I do like having friends because otherwise the entirety of life would, in a word, suck. But they get angry that I don't initiate anything or that I turn down an invitation to something and then I eventually realise that my friends aren't around when I want to be social. It's no good, because not everyone wants to be social at once, but it's almost like you HAVE to be in case you need them later. It's not really friendship and it's not really fun. It's like a transaction. And because I don't understand this, I tend to avoid being social altogether.

Which is apparently another social problem =P