Why do NTs think this about us?

Post Reply New Topic

Well, one, they're easy insults to throw at someone when they're not doing what you want. Anyone who's not completely compliant with the wishes of Person X can be told they're being exploitative and taking advantage of Person X...

...and since nobody wants to be a bad guy, a lot of people will immediately come into line.

In other words, it's an exploitative tactic designed to take advantage of a person's natural desire to see themselves as a good person (which even a lot of Aspies have, so it's a particularly good technique).

I think the other reason is because, while we still have the human inclination to want to get our own way at least some of the time, we don't have the social skills to make people want to give us a damn thing. We're not fun to be around and people will not choose to be nice to us just to keep us coming back (unlike my psychopathic, self-serving, manipulative, but very socially skilled relatives). Therefore, when WE stand up for ourselves, we're being manipulative, exploitative, et cetera et cetera et cetera.

We're no more manipulative than anyone else (some of us, if we generalize the "pathological obsession with fairness" to being fair in general, are less manipulative). We're just worse at sugar-coating it.

Then there's the inherent idea that difference equals deficit. Therefore, if you are different, you are obviously deficient. If you are not happy to be treated as a second-class citizen, then you're being exploitative.

Of course all NTs do that, not just the few who actually do that but every single last one of those evil bastards. I'm pretty sure not all NTs are like that and I am pretty sure not all with autism are incapable of exploitation or taking advantage of others...maybe they typically would not be as good at it but its not like aspies are morally superior to neurotypicals.

also all cats are not exactly the same, all dogs are not exactly the same......so all neurotypicals are not exactly the same and all with autism are not exactly the same.

I don't think you read my post. I said some people think that based on recent media images. I didn't say that it was correct, I was merely trying to understand and explain what the OP said.

I agree, yea. I guess it's just easy for people to feel bitter about having to deal with more than their fair share of being bullied, misunderstood, and/or unfairly judged throughout their life. "Us vs. them" thinking isn't totally rational and putting people in boxes definitely not a helpful way to be more understood by people. It just pushes away people who might otherwise want to understand. I can see how the OP of this thread pisses people off though.

Possibly because they confuse an inability to do something with unwillingness to do it,

When I was 22 I was starting to do more things around the house, paying a bit for rent, etc. I still had this notion that people would look past my social awkwardness and give me a job too so I applied for many jobs.

I don't know your situation or how severe your symptoms are but because you're over 18 and still living at home you should take on some duties of housework, learn to cook for yourself and apply for the jobs you want. In my country you have to apply for 10 jobs to get government benefits. I'm on a disability pension so I don't need to. I do want to work but my sensory issues are so severe that it's not the best time to work.

So, it depends what is getting in your way of helping out with housework or looking for work. I used to have difficulty doing housework too but now that I moved in with my sister, her partner and her child I have to do all my cleaning, shopping, sometimes cooking. I pay rent and pay extra bills too.

Maybe it's something you can improve on. It's not right that your uncle says that but he sees an adult who from the outside looks able to do all the things he sees you're not doing. He doesn't understand executive dysfunction or any of your symptoms that get in the way with house work or even wanting to work.

Most NT's do NOT think about people on the spectrum at all...ever. We don't even show up on their radar.