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Social Norms

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Tequila
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07 May 2012, 5:19 pm

lundygirl wrote:
I don't mimic people but I've always been a 'people-watcher' - I observe how people behave, interact etc, and try to learn from it.


I think the main thing with people-watching is being discreet and also recognising that there will be some defective/abusive behaviours in people as well, so it makes sense to try to filter out those. Also, try not to make it too obvious that you're watching people - especially when you talk to them - as it can make people feel as though they're under a microscope in a laboratory.



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11 May 2012, 8:41 pm

To my knowledge, I've never mimicked people. I never even knew that it was my social behaviour, and not just shyness, as the reason that I had such trouble in social situations. It wasn't until someone suggested I might have AS that I even started examining the way I interacted with others. Even now, I still don't copy other peoples' behaviour, I just sort of try and guess what to do based on what's worked for me in the past. I get so nervous talking to people that trying to keep up a conversation and act at the same time would be too hard!


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Jupiter1234
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11 May 2012, 9:50 pm

Yea I remember every year when school started I would say " I am going to act normal, make friends , be popular, get a BF,".....and I would copy like the characters on teen shows or the "cool kids as well as i could at school......it only made temporary friends until I gave up on the persona....



Jupiter1234
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11 May 2012, 9:57 pm

SilkySifaka wrote:
That is exactly what I do. I realised about 11 or 12 that I was getting everything wrong (I had no idea about Aspergers I just thought I was a horrible person) and so I set about learning how to get it right. I watched other people very carefully and mimicked them, I read books on etiquette, I watched films and TV programmes and copied the characters or I chose another woman that I admired and copied her. I practised whole conversations in front of the mirror and imagined interactions in my head until I felt more comfortable with them.

The positive side to this is that I am now good at most social interactions, but the negative aspect is that it took me a long time to work out who I was as a person because the real me was so tangled up with the pretend me. I had whole relationships where I wasn't me at all (if that makes any sense). I think mimicking can work as long as there is a clear line in your mind about the real you and your public persona.





That is also what I do



CSBurks
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12 May 2012, 3:19 am

I've picked up enough social norms for people to just think I'm a little weird, as opposed to completely nuts.