I am diagnosed, but I don't really think I have asperger's.

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There's a good portion of us who don't have this need to socialize. We have various levels of interest, from wanting quite a bit, but not knowing how, to not caring at all and spending 23 hours a day alone. Personally, I have very little interest in socializing with people other than my boyfriend, though I want another person I can trust. Before my relationship I didn't have any interest in seeking one. What I want is people I can turn to and trust, not socializing.



I've always been seen as particularly mature. People still guess I'm at least 8 years older than I am online. I also have a particular type of childishness, but I also have the maturity.

I don't personally have the fantasy though. I can think of one situation in my life where I've done fantasizing (about ways I could theoretically get an animal), and I don't daydream.

Personally, I'm not even the "active but odd" that characterizes AS for a lot of people. I'm quiet, and only monologue in typing (Though can be horrid in chat rooms).

There are very different ways AS manifests, not just the stereotypical version. You sound like you might be the "more HFA" type that tends to be less interested in socializing.

If your symptoms impede you to where you are unable to work, you rightfully deserve the payments regardless of what label is used.

Many with HFA or Aspergers (once you start talking, the distinction effectively evaporates) are late bloomers -- I suspect it is because there is so much that we much cognitively learn that NT's just instinctively pick up. I have heard numerous accounts of people finally finding their feet during their 30's.

btw, an excessive sense of honesty and determination to do what is right regardless of the consequences is common among those on the spectrum

I wonder about the sample of people that you've seen that you're comparing yourself to. If it's a large number of a variety of people, of various ages, ages at diagnosis, and not all assessed by the same people or institutions, and so forth, then you might be right. But, if not, you might be seeing a group of people who aren't as representative of the norm (or in terms of the breadth of variation) for ASD as it might seem.

As far as SSI and medicare, you should probably check if insurance companies in your state will insure you at a normal rate with an ASD diagnosis before dropping any benefits.

I like this.

Its been mentioned here and elsewhere about of the possibility of Schizoid disorder in these instances.

I've seen it split between schizoid and AS on this point of wanting to socialize, as in AS vs. no desire as in schizoid - ( binary). But, in SPD , there is a conscious deflection from this, as not wanting the intimacy of human contact. Thus, this isn't based on hard knocks or misunderstandings, and apparently SPD behavior is developed later in adolescence.

I need a little as in someone or with a few, but with SPD, there is a horror of getting too close, getting too intimate -- a conscious pushing away or splitting off to feel unviolated. And SPD moves further away via the communication side, as there is not an inability with this.

But one could have them both.

Last edited by Mdyar on 28 May 2012, 12:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

Big number,
listen I'm sorry, this identity crisis thing sounds really hard. I'm an NT and I've never felt this kind thing how you're feeling it.

I noticed there's a difference in younger kids with AS and older people with AS, perhaps a generation difference.

What would it mean to you if you knew you had Aspergers? What would it mean to you if you knew you didn't?

Imagine you were in a place and found that people ignored you or kept a distance, and the things that intersted you were not in the mainstream, etc. People comment, "how odd." You notice that you dont do the things that others do, such as bonding. And you now find yourself isolated and alone many years, with little to none validation or acceptance -- staring in from the outside.

Would you want to know why?

Last edited by Mdyar on 02 Jun 2012, 3:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I know in my case, and from I've read in some of those other cases, not caring about socialization has nothing to do with that. I know in my case its best described as I want that intimacy, I crave it, but the socialization has little to do with that intimacy to me, and the socialization is something I don't care about.

What I want (from people other than my boyfriend) is people to play games with and solve puzzles with, because I can't do those on my own, who I don't do much in the way of other sorts of socializing with. But if they need support from me, or I need support from them, then we're there for each other immediately, interacting, enjoying interacting, and doing what is best for both of us.

While I might interact little with people often, I'll also spend hours talking to someone multiple days in a row, because one of us needs to be understood or needs someone to be there. And in those situations, its the care behind the discussion, that really has effects.

Thats fantastic. You should contact SS right away and tell them that you are no longer disabled, and ask them ask them stop your disability payments immediately. Then you wont have to feel guilty about taking SSI payments for a disability that you don't have. Then just get a job, go to work and live happily ever after.