Why do people think we can't feel

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I definitely have feelings and emotions, but I don't feel things deeply most of the time.

I've read on the internet that people with autism and aspergers can't show their emotions properly, which leads people to believe that they have no feelings. I've never showed this symptom though, I can express my emotions easily. There was another person who had HFA in my class last year who ended up trying to stab me with some piece of glass or plastic (he was laughing at me whilst doing this), most of the time he never showed emotions.

Personally, I've learned to suppress mine, or at least the expression thereof.

It's a survival thing. My emotions are seldom in sync with those of the people around me-- my grief is delayed, anger too bright and too quickly past, happiness far too bright.

In the end, it turns out better for them to think that I simply have no emotions-- or that I'm the strong, silent type (where I am from this is more admired in men, but tolerated in women far better than being out-of-step). The alternative is judgment, derision, rejection.

As a teenager, I got tired of being mocked. So every time I felt like displaying emotion, I slapped myself or dug my nails into my hands/arms or punched myself in the stomach until I threw up. It took a few years but eventually I conditioned myself against laughing too loudly, showing fear, or crying in front of others.

I would say it is because our emotions are not like theirs.

But that can't be right. WE, after all, are the ones who lack empathy, who cannot understand any point of view that is not our own.

And we can't use sarcasm, either.

You mean that's an Aspie thing? It actually happens to other people, too?! Wow. I always just thought I was defective in some way, or that I was a jerk even though I couldn't help it. Until a close friend of mine died last year, I'd been going on about eight years since I last cried over a death. I'd also had times of severe stress where I just went entirely emotionally numb. I couldn't feel happy, couldn't feel sad, couldn't feel mad... I'm just so glad I have knowledge of right from wrong (rather than having it based purely on emotion) as well as a strong sense of justice. There were times where I would not have felt bad if I did something wrong, but I knew in my mind that it was not the right thing, so in the end it wasn't a problem.

That's not typical, however. I've only had that happen a handful of times in my life. I think the reason they assume we can't feel is simply due to lack of/lesser amount of emotional facial expression. It's kind of like how so many people assume other animals can't feel- they don't express emotion in the way that people are used to, so it's easy to assume, "Well, then, they must not feel anything at all." ...Even though anyone who spends enough time with their pet knows that's a load of bull. It's just a matter of learning the way they express themselves. In the same way, people close to us can be very well aware that we feel emotion. A family member that sees the Aspie child crying after being picked on couldn't deny that. But that same kid may not smile during recess, or story time, or any other time that kids are usually having fun, which may confuse their teacher/other classmates. At least, that's my hypothesis.

I'm good with expressing my emotions to people so I don't have this problem. In fact I do it too much, and end up showing myself up in public by putting on a type of body language that matches how I feel inside, ie anger, frustration, annoyance.