Fun with Literal-mindedness

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Not too long ago, a coworker asked me to fill up a bag with office supplies such as pencils, pens, scissors, tape and such for an event she was doing that weekend. She takes a plastic bag and tells me to just fill it up with junk, so I walk to her trashcan and start to take some papers that she threw out that morning. She's like 'what are you doing?', and I answer' filling it up with junk'.

Another time, my dad was cleaning the yard and he asks me to get him some garbage bags. I go in, then go back outside and said that we don't have any garbage bags, the only bags I found are plastic bags, but no garbage bags.

I love playing with puns and literalism. I do it deliberately all the time. It's fun, but it also has the side benefit of masking when I've actually made a mistake. I like to keep people guessing. It helps me avoid getting people annoyed with me or having them think I'm stupid. Some of my jokes are too much of a stretch for most people, as when I hear somebody say someone looks tired and I start making wisecracks about seeing tread marks on their faces. But I can mostly get a laugh out of people, and it keeps things smooth between us.

Urgh! Now I'm thinking really literally about this very post!

I like it when somebody says that they have to get the kinks out of their hose. I imagine 4 little Kinks walking out of the hose.

[quote="CockneyRebel"]I like it when somebody says that they have to get the kinks out of their hose. I imagine 4 little Kinks walking out of the hose. [/quote

I would have said that "The band that sang "Lola" is in there?"

Oh no, I've had a kink in my back the last few days!

Parents always said 'do I have to keep talking until I'm blue in the face?' and I remember waiting for their face to turn blue. I have a friend who used that phrase with their daughter who was 3 or 4 years old, and the little girl went over and blew in their face! Wish I'd thought of that

On the playground other kids would ask me if I wanted a knuckle sandwich and I would think of biting through 2 slices of Wonder bread to find a hard knuckle in the middle, not very appetizing

game
tame
blame
fame
shame
claim
inflame
became
your name

same frame, brain insane

OK I have never took things literally to this extent. I always know what way to take things, unless I have never heard the non-literal side of it, but even then judging by the situation I can still tell that they couldn't have meant it the literal way.

I like to pretend to be very literal sometimes just to drive people crazy. Like the other day a woman at work took my last soda from the fridge because she had a headache and needed the caffeine. When I arrived the next day she told me what she'd done and said she would replace it with a six-pack. With a totally straight face throughout the whole thing, I told her I didn't want the six-pack, I wanted my last pop, and I wanted to know why she thought it was ok to steal from me. She said it wasn't really stealing, and I said "Well you could have texted me and asked but you didn't. So yes, you stole from me." I then told the whole story to everyone who came into the office until the woman who took my soda was about to have a fit - and again, the whole time I acted like I was totally serious (but totally neutral in my face, though). I even told the boss on her.

And in truth, I didn't care two whits about the soda or that she'd taken it at all. I just wanted to mess with her.

Um, GumbyLives, I've had people do that kind of thing to me because they thought it was funny. I've heard them laugh behind my back, literally, with other people standing there, all of them in on the joke. Then I've turned to see the smirks on their faces as they revealed what was going on and seen them get irritated with me for not enjoying what they'd just put me through. I'm sorry, but I don't think I can appreciate your story in the way in which I think you might've hoped. This may be unimportant, but I thought I'd mention it anyway. Guess I'm just oversensitive about some things.

2wheels4ever, as for the knuckle sandwich, I knew what it was whenever someone threatened me or someone else in the way in which you describe others as having done. Interesting additional note: Had the situation been reversed, however, my sense of literalism would've made me too uncomfortable to even jokingly threaten anyone with such a thing, even if I'd been the type to want to bully. Silly me, I'd have been afraid someone would retaliate just for the threat by biting my hand. As for the child blowing in the face of her parent, I would never have gotten away with that as a child. I would've been smacked for it, or at least really yelled at, I'm sure, even at such a young age.

You know, I'm noticing how negative my post sounds. I think I'm in kind of a down mood tonight. Sorry, everyone.

Does it count if you bit the bullys hand??

Whever someone says "I couldn't _______ to save myself!" I have fun imagining a situation where they might actually have to do said activity to save their own life.