Does anyone really understand you?

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pets

No, I don't even know how to understand myself.

I currently have a therapist. It's clear that I am the oldest person with AS she has ever treated. What she sees as attention deficit, I see as normal. I am extremely aware of my environment. My mind never really shuts down. Even intemperate amounts of alcohol doesn't help. I wish people could understand that I am really listening to what they are saying in spite of my lack of eye contact and constant awareness of noises and movement. I wish people could understand me, but I don't think it will happen.

I've accepted no one will fully understand me or get 80% there. When I talk and explain more personal details people misinterpret things and make horrible assumptions about me so I've learned to just shut up and stay to myself, looking to outlets like art to express myself. Painting helps a lot. Mom is the closest, I started therapy last month and am due for my next appointment in a week but even with him I can't share everything.

You are surely not alone in not understanding yourself. It takes a lot time to do so, and having any unusual condition or life situation in general only makes it worse. Be patient, and over the course of time you will gradually figure it out.

The only person who was the closest to understanding me other than the people I've talked to on this website was my ex-boyfriend. Unfortunately I think he saw me as more of a challenge for him and kind of like a science experiment under the lens. I think he was more interested into how I thought because I know that he didn't love me.

And then they say NTs don't lack empathy......

Where's NT empathy when it comes to this? Can't people even try to imagine how we feel? Can't they put themselves in our shoes?

I have a twin sister who I am very close to and even she doesn't understand me. I know that people in my family TRY but there are alot of things they criticize me for that I feel I have no control over. As another poster said, I don't understand myself. I don't expect others to understand me any better.

No. I don't understand myself. I wish I did though.

I understand myself a hell of a lot more since I started reading about AS.

One of my friends that I've known for over ten years said a couple years ago that he knows a lot about me, but he feels like he doesn't really know me. I assume he meant that he doesn't understand me.

My other friend, to whom I feel closest to, seems to understand me quite well. She suspected for a long time that I was on the spectrum. Sometimes it's like she can read my mind
It's easier for me to talk to her about personal stuff than to anyone else.

I have a good friend who also has Aspergers. We both share similar interests. We also understand that hanging out is not an everyday thing. I am always myself when around him, and so does he.

I don't think anyone really understands anyone.

I mean, therapy can help you help yourself - but there's always a brick wall there. Our real nature is inscrutable.

I think it's down to compartmentalizing understanding. When I played in bands, my bandmates understood the part of me playing music. When I write and share poems online, some other poets understand me writing poems. And so forth. My closet relationships right now are with two cardinals - when I feed them, they understand me in that capacity and vice versa. But could anyone understand all of me, my professional self, my special interest self, my emotional self? Who would want to? Everything emotional comes down to emotional exchange.