Being socially deprived
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 35,011
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
07 Jun 2012, 12:52 pm
angryguy91 wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
Wait a second who owns the car? If it is in fact your car then he has no legal rights over it and cannot take it from you...unfortunatly if its in his name I guess he does have some say over it. Are any of your friends willing to drive to your area to visit you? Or if he did take your car would they help you out with rides to visit them or whatever? Also have you thought of maybe trying to move out...maybe you and some of your friends could split rent somewhere.
First off, I want to apologize for the long long post. I don't like to overdo it like that, but man, I'm stressing right now.
He owns the car so he has every right to strip me of it, but like I said, its not doing my mental state any favors. All my life, my dad has tried to discipline me for my aspie behaviors, but I'm now old enough to realize that he in fact has no idea on how to handle a child with asperger's. If he did, our relationship would probably of been very different, but right now, all he is good at is pressing my meltdown button which is why it is best if I avoid him. I know that can come off as me being a "self-centered prick who doesn't respect his parents" (and I realize I have made many mistakes and I regret them), but I do love my dad and my asperger's has made it hard for me to have a functioning relationship with him.
My friends are willing to help me, but they have lives of their own. They can't go out of their way to pick me on a whim so it is much easier if I have control of when I can go down to visit them.
I would move out, but it is easier said then done. My general uncomfortableness with social situations has made jobs very undesirable for me. I held a job once and quit after a month because it was humiliating for me just like high school was. I can't just start working with people I don't know. :-/ I also haven't finish my comm college education so I haven't broken into the world of 4 year college (which will also be hard for me since it will involve me having to form relationships with people I don't know).
This is why this move is so hard for me. I needed to get my stuff together school-wise and now I'm forced to work through this maze in an unfamiliar environment. The contendness that I had in my hometown (which took me 17 years to achieve) has been lost. I don't have any peace of mind anymore, I'm constantly stressed, and my meltdowns with my parents are coming back in full force.
I love my dad (I don't mention my mom since she just seems to follow along with whatever my dad does), but I can't work like this. All I wish is they sat down with me and discussed this move instead of jumping the gun. They don't realize the profound effect that having little social contact and change has on me and how it completely demoralizes me. And my dad really has a history of doing things that HE thinks will benefit me, but ends up making me less functional. Plain and simple, when I'm angry and annoyed, all my aspie traits just come out.
That all makes sense, and does sound very frusterating...I mean I feel like the best thing to do would be to try and move out of your parents house. But I understand that is much easier said than done, and yeah I realise your friends probably have lives of their own, but I'd hope they don't want to totally cut you out of their lives just because you live further away.
Also does your dad let you drive to the college in that car? you mentioned he says you cant drive to your home town, but is that where the college is? I mean he needs to be rational here and let you finish your college stuff so you can go to a four year college if that's what you want....in which case dorms are an option. Also this wont do you much good if you don't have an official diagnoses but you could apply for SSI if nothing else, but I would only advise that if you truly cannot function on a job.......if you can function on a job I hate to say it but you might have to try and tolerate one I mean I would if I could but I know its likely I could freak out on the co-workers in some situations. But yeah if you could tolerate a job then maybe you could get your own car and then you can drive where ever you want to in it.
I understand you love your dad, but at the same time its kinda clear to me that living with him is probably not doing you a lot of good...I wish I had a solution to offer, but I am kinda stuck in a not so great living situation to and well the only thing I can think to do is find a way to move out of my moms house......I mean at this point I am considering going homeless not that I advise it as I imagine its a very difficult way to live. Also stress can certainly bring out the more unpleasent symptoms of any disorder, I know when I am under stress my symptoms get worse.
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MindWithoutWalls
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Joined: 25 Oct 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,445
Location: In the Workshop, with the Toolbox
07 Jun 2012, 3:31 pm
Sweetleaf and others may be right. I couldn't wait to move out back then. Oh, and if you do move out and get a job, the book I recommended will still be a big help. But I'd still go for a solution that lets you get your education, if at all possible. I wasn't able to do that, but it probably would've been a good thing for me, I think.
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