What do you do if a friend/family is crying in front of you?

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make them a cup of tea, almost every one likes tea (or coffee) failing that give them a cigarette. If that fails....................I dont know! Say "im sorry for how you feel what can I do to help?"
These are the tactics I use

For the most part, I will avoid drama when ever possible. For my youngest kids, they know to come to me with injuries that need repair and go to mommy for the hugs (omg that sounds awful, but it isn't really THAT harsh) I'm the level head handle the gashed knees and high fever without freaking out. Mom fixes the hurt feelings. Anyone else, I flee if they're crying when I can.

The situation gets really awkward really fast. I get very uncomfortable when someone's crying, whether it's in the movies or right in front of me. When it's someone in front of me, I offer them a shoulder to cry on, and ask if they want me to do something. Half the time, they or someone they know tells me to buzz off. I really try not to come off as mean, but they still tell me to buzz off anyway. Now I don't even try to help anymore, especially if they're going to angrily tell me they don't want my services.

I've never really felt comfortable with comforting someone crying in front of me. It's like, should I pat them on the shoulder? Should I give them space? I've managed to respond "properly" all of once in my life, and even then it was kind of awkward and had me outside of my comfort zone.

Nothing, I just sit there. I don't know what to do. Or I leave depending on the situation. If I caused them to cry, I apologize. Then I ask what I did so wrong and why did it upset them so much. Then I keep talking to them about it trying to understand the logic behind their feelings. That is if something I said made them cry. Then I just shrug and not say anything else if I still don't get it and after I have had all my questions answered or couldn't get any good ones because the person couldn't really tell me. Sometimes if I see them crying, I ask them what is wrong.

Run out the front door...or back door, whichever's closest.

If it is a girl in my family crying ill cry with them but if its a guy ill just support them

I'd offer a hug if I'm comfortable with that (depending on who it is and what the relationship is).

If in doubt, I ask what can I do to help.

I kind of freeze up not sure what to do at times if it is a girl i care about I will probably offer a hug and tell that individual tommorow is a brand new day and everything is going to be all right, otherwise I kind of feel awkward.

I ask them what's wrong and if they'd like a hug.

"
Nervous laughter -- that's it. * comforts self *

Last edited by Mdyar on 13 Jun 2012, 9:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I have no friggin clue what to do when someone I care about starts crying.

The way I was raised, boys don't cry. If they do, you don't encourage it with hugs and kind words. Maybe, just maybe, if it's something really bad, like if someone died, you leave them to get it out of their system alone. Otherwise, you discourage it by telling them to toughen up. And then mock them later. Not to be overly dramatic, but I can't remember ever having someone comfort me when I cried. Hell, one time, when I was a kid, my dad actually hit me for crying too much. It was the day after my dog died.

So I learned to keep tears to myself. To me, even though I know consciously that it's perfectly normal, crying feels like something shameful. Something you should only do in private. So when I see someone else do it my usual reaction is to feel embarrassed for them and leave them alone. Which only leaves them feeling like I don't care.

What do you do if a friend/family is crying in front of you?

Ask them where it hurts and try to render aid. Only works 0.000001% of the time, failing that, hot beverage or I move out of my boyfriends way, he's the touchy/feely one.

I always screw up the beverage part, I always forget to ask until it's to late (their getting ready to leave) or they have left already.

Meh, they are here because of my charming intellect, not the service.....

Last edited by MarthaCannary on 08 Jun 2012, 4:14 am, edited 2 times in total.

I was on the receiving end of it not long ago......I started crying and my then girlfrend started laughing in response. I can't remember what it was about - nothing terribly important I guess. If I hadn't known that she was autistic and that autistic people can do that, I think it would have killed the relationship stone dead. She was, as it turned out, sadly lacking in the compassion department, but I really don't believe she would have taken pleasure in another's pain.

Someone here on the board posted that this laughter is a product of an immediate detail focus, eclipsing the bigger picture at this ' moment of giggle' -- a skewed thought bias.

Last edited by Mdyar on 13 Jun 2012, 9:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

My strategy is usually to ask them "Can I help?" or "Is there anything I can do?" Sometimes they ask for help. Sometimes they shake their head and keep crying, at which point, if they are female, I can put my hand on their arm. If they're male, physical contact has too many romantic connotations.

That's pretty much it. Other than chew out whoever made them cry, if it was a person being a dick.