Starting a new job some advice please

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I used to have a friend/coworker who was extremely talkative, and once she knew me a little she asked me to let her know when she was talking too much. It worked well, because I don't like a lot of chatter on the job, and I cared about whether I hurt her feelings. If you can find someone who is trustworthy to let you know if you're talking too much, someone you feel comfortable getting that message from, that can help too. There was in fact a person I worked with years later who talked a lot too, and she learned to take cues from me as well, although I had to be louder and more blunt with her - but she was okay with that. I think they trusted me because they knew I wasn't bullying and had no ill intent, I just liked quiet in the workplace, but a friendly sort of quiet, not a repressed, fearful silence - I've worked in places that were silent because people were afraid, and I hated that.

Congrats on the new job and best wishes!

Thanks everybody.

I am still going to press ahead with a formal diagnosis.

Ok I just thought I would give a bit of an update.
I was working through an employment agency.
After 11 months the company took me on directly on temporary contracts.

Today I have been made permanent.


This board has helped me do this thanks.

This is one that I can associate with, before my Dx I did this to a really anti social degree. Since the revelation of my ASD I have tried hard to curb this. It is not easy, but with time I have begun to notice when I am doing it. I think talking to much is an unconscious attempt to fit in when we do not know how to. It is important to remember that most people do not really want to know how your are or what you did on the weekend or what you are about to do, or that you feel cold or hot. I try to keep all these thoughts to myself, unless approached and ask directly. It is difficult.

As to sitting alone this can have unwanted consequences, people are quick to judge and you may be thought of as thinking you are superior or judged in any number of derogatory ways. Unfortunately people will want you to congregate with them but on their terms. Sitting quietly in the lunch room, after saying hi to everyone is probably your best strategy. Read a newspaper probably pick the most popular one. Above all do not butt into conversations or ask people what they are talking about so you can join in, it is best to wait for them to approach you. This may take time for them to do this, but it is better to be thought of as somewhat reserved than over friendly. This guide has been written with the help of my vey empathetic and somewhat suffering partner. When I take her advice it invariably turns out to be effective.

Good Luck