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Wandering_Stranger
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11 Jun 2012, 9:57 am

I was asked in secondary school (I think that's high school to Americans? I was about 13) if I was gay; as I had no interest in relationships.



TheHouseholdCat
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11 Jun 2012, 7:32 pm

tweety_fan wrote:
my brother is 28 and single(NT) and a couple of people have asked if he is gay(which he isn't). Some People seem to think "oh they must be gay" when they are not in a relationship by a certain age.

I always found this odd. And it's so discriminatory. It always sounds like an insult to me. As soon as you don't behave according to your assigned gender, you're gay.

NotaHero wrote:
Most people only see one thing and don't think that there cold be other possible factors and more likely a combination of several factors.

I'm sure some people will think I'm gay, but if I was I would still sped most of my time being single.

Yeah, it's flawed logic.

Only seeing one thing can do a lot of harm.


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Dan_Undiagnosed
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11 Jun 2012, 8:55 pm

Out of three boys who didn't really bring girls home my Mum singled me out for some reason and a couple of times I would catch her when she didn't know I was home in my room talking to my siblings about being sensitive about LGBT issues around me because she thought I might be gay. I had crushes as early as year 3 but they were very immature and I couldn't even go up and talk to girls. I remember being shocked even as late as year 10 when a guy in my year called Andrew was bragging about a girl called Chanara who's nickname was Nars. He said to some other guys "Nars bent over in class today right in front of my desk and you could see right where her p**** would be". :oops:
At that time it never even entered my head to think about where private parts were located on the body or why that would lather anyone up into a frenzy. I mean you can't see it anyway, you're still just looking at clothes :roll:
I think the average person's obsession with sex leads to these kinds of assumptions. Sometimes I think average people are just sex mad chimps who can't separate a mundane bodily function from the reward chemicals in their brain tricking them into obsessing over it.



Dan_Undiagnosed
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11 Jun 2012, 9:07 pm

P.S
My mother's brilliant plan backfired. Rather than tread softly around the issue most of my siblings used it against me when they were mad at me. I knew I was over the whole thing and could put it behind me when I burst out laughing during an episode of Futurama when a car salesman was trying to convince Fry to buy a car by saying "Okay, maybe you're fine with people questioning your sexuality" then Fry cracks and blurts out "I'm not! I'm not okay with it! I just don't know how to make them stop!" and he bought the car :lol:



Callista
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11 Jun 2012, 9:24 pm

Dan_Undiagnosed wrote:
Sometimes I think average people are just sex mad chimps who can't separate a mundane bodily function from the reward chemicals in their brain tricking them into obsessing over it.
I'm asexual and I see sex as a "mundane bodily function", too. But from a sociological perspective, there are meanings to it beyond just making babies and getting your brain to produce happy chemicals. Depending on where you live, it means you trust somebody, that you want to be attached to them. It's something fun that couples do to strengthen their bond. I'm not into it--but I can see the attraction for people who like it.

There are many things like that in the world--things that are technically rather mundane, but that have been given greater significance due to culture. Clothes are just there to protect us from the weather, but they can also serve as social signals or badges of group membership. Food is nutritious, but it's part of so many social rituals that it has taken on symbolic meaning far beyond just keeping yourself supplied with calories and vitamins.

So sex is just one more thing that humans use as a symbol for other things, or to reinforce other things. Humans are one of only a few species that use sex for social bonding. Cats, for example, just go into heat (or smell a female in heat) and are driven to mate pretty much on instinct. There's no romance and no social relationship necessary between the cats involved. Cats form social bonds mostly between siblings or between mom and kittens; there's no romance in the cat world. For them, sex and socializing just aren't connected beyond the need to intimidate rival tomcats. Humans aren't like that; sex is significant. We make taboos about it, make social contracts. So, yeah, it's a bodily function--but hooked to that bodily function are a lot of other important things.


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NotEquius
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11 Jun 2012, 9:41 pm

I've never understood these types of people. I think they are so obsessed with sex, they cannot fathom that there are other people that are not obsessed with sex. I think that they think "if that person is not constantly fantasizing about the opposite sex, they must be fantasizing about the same sex and be in the closet about it". I bet these people don't know asexuals exist.

I had to deal with these same accusations sometimes in middle school, I was not ready for any romance and my sexual desires simply did not exist yet, so this annoyed the heck out of me. When they did kick in....actually I'm a bad example, the accusers were proven right in my case, but that's not the point. The point is some annoying people simply don't understand the idea of not being constantly obsessed with love and sex.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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11 Jun 2012, 9:42 pm

My two cats are altered males, are not related, and have a pretty good relationship for two cats. I am impressed with them both. They have the occasional spats but generally, get along well. I have seen cats who hiss at pretty much any other cat though.



oxjox
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11 Jun 2012, 9:46 pm

My dad once said "You're allowed to like girls you know!"

I am still not sure what was implied.



Dan_Undiagnosed
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12 Jun 2012, 12:39 am

Callista wrote:
But from a sociological perspective, there are meanings to it beyond just making babies and getting your brain to produce happy chemicals.


Agreed, the sociological or anthropological meanings placed by humans on sex are hugely more complex than the base biological drives some other animals have but even with this given I still find myself an individual in a crowd scratching my head wondering why certain cultures (like the west) end up glorifying sexual congress in this really awkward immature way. I hate listening to adults chide teens for the way they behave while they're young. Look at divorce and infidelity rates, family break down and the loathsome "battle of the sexes". As far as I'm concerned adults are not much different than teens.
As for me I'm starting to realise the sexiest thing possible for me is the female brain. Trying to imagine what women think about when they think of sex or just knowing that they read those trashy erotic novels is far classier and sexier to me than half naked 18 year olds gyrating in music videos as though I'm meant to be just a brainless d*** with a pair of eyes.