Define a melt down

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What happened when my plans changed yesterday was I asked my mom if we were going to go see a movie after dinner. She said yes and the I could take my service dog with me. But just as we were about to leave the house to go the movie my step dad said no, my service dog could not come with us. So I started crying and biteing my fingers. We got into the car and in the car my mom explained to my step dad that she told me my dog could come and I was upset because of the change in plans. We ended up turning the car around to get my dog. Could that be considered a meltdown?

I do that quite often in the evenings when I'm thinking over my day. Just wondering with these types of meltdowns is there a point where it's happening often enough that it gets classified as depression?

I don't know if that would be considered a meltdown, I do that too ... it's more like recharging, releasing some anxiety? If the phone rang and you could probably snap out of it and answer it with composure? I think it would look exactly the same, but if someone was talking directly to you and you couldn't even form a reply then that's more like a meltdown. There's some blurring between meltdowns, shutdowns. anxiety attacks, fits of rage, nervous breakdowns and temper tantrums and it can be hard to tell which is which sometimes.... I meant that I shut down during the incident, if I'm in the middle of a situation I can't handle ... it's different if I've had a just had a tough day and wait until the evening to just sit and stare at a wall, but it's still related because it comes from being overwhelmed.

Last edited by Washi on 10 Jun 2012, 4:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, I'd consider that a meltdown. For me it would be a mini-meltdown, and I have those fairly frequently, but I can also sometimes get them under control if I feel them coming on, and I have learned to (sometimes) keep them in check until I have a private moment to cry it out. But yes, I just go off on the whole household sometimes, and sometimes this has a bad effect on my also Aspie husband, so that it seems a lot of our fights are actually mutual meltdowns.

It was my major meltdowns, at times of crisis, that sent me in search of an answer and helped me come across a definition of AS that clued me in to, well, everything that made me feel like a freak all my life. I couldn't understand why I was so much worse than anyone I knew at coping with stress and what I could do about it. Coming across the answer in AS was a revelation to me, even though it doesn't really solve the problem - at least I don't feel so much self-hatred about my meltdowns and other issues anymore.

Hmmm so it is not so much the severity of the 'meltdown/shutdown' or what ever but the control the person has over themselves that distinguishes it.

I think the easiest way to make the distinction of whether or not it is a meltdown is to look at the cause, if the cause is sensory overload it's probably a meltdown and the severity I would think would be a combination of how long it lasts and how much self control there is.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWgApN3GZwA[/youtube] Hope this helps. I for one am one of the quiet types and usually shut myself off but when it gets too much I usually go to a secluded place to vent.

Do you think Explosion of anger, is a meltdown? Or is that just anger issues?

Like if there is dripping water on you, so the Person*cough* starts screaming and yelling for a towel. Is that anger issues, that for example I know is a sensory issue causing the upset , but the way they handle it is anger.

Or say for example they think someone is attacking them or making them repeat their sentence, or is not letting them finish their rant so they start yelling over other people and getting very angry, talking really loud etc is that a form of a meltdown , in an adult? I'm so use to thinking of a meltdown as kicking and screaming on the ground and being a toddler

Hmm I've actually been wondering about this a lot lately, trying to figure out if I have little mini melt downs and such. It's interesting to read all the different ways people in this thread react.

This seems similar to what I do, and I've really been wondering if it could be considered a mini-melt down.

There's a couple of different situations that happen with me:
1. Something upsets me, or I feel lonely because I don't have any friends where I live (I do have to friends, but they both live out of state), and I usually hold it all in until night when I can cry and no one's around. Sometimes I don't even know why I'm crying and then I feel dumb lol.

or

2. I get this build up of pressure inside of me and it just keeps building until I just feel like yelling and throwing things, hitting things, and/or slamming things. I've broken a few things that way. I just get so tense and aggravated, but I am usually able to control it or just get away with only hitting things I know I can hit and not break, but it's really hard. Something like this could be set off with something as small as the feeling of my clothes as been bothering me all day so by the end of the day I just feel violent (this actually happens a lot, I try my best to avoid wearing these types of things, but at the same time I don't want to look like a hobo all the time...), to my tolerance for stupid, un-efficient people waning, or once again, sometimes I don't even know why I'm angry. Also hanging around people other than my 2 best friends or my family (all of whom I feel totally comfortable around), makes me tense and angry too because it's stressful to think of things to say and to do the right things socially.

What usually fixes both of these is getting in bed, under my covers, in my nice cool, dark, quiet room. I usually fall asleep and then wake up de-stressed. Ooor blasting one of my two favorite CDs in my car while driving alone at night with my air-conditioner as high as it can go.

Would either of these be considered mini-melt downs or am I just a violent, angry person? :/

I don't know if it was a meltdown, but I was in D.C. to see Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert a couple years ago, and the subway car was PACKED. People were pushing up against me. They were all good people overall - a real nice vibe in the air. But I lost my mind. Curled up on the floor and cried for a half hour, my head in my knees, waiting for it to end. And I'm a 250 lb man.

On the other hand, plans have been nonchalantly changed by others on more than one occasion in the last 2 weeks and I'm caught just pacing around, waiting for people to leave... or to show up... or to grrrr and it takes up my day, and I'm not even over it long after it's over. So I don't know what that is either.

I would think wanting to hit things wouldn't be called a "meltdown" but damned if I know it's a technical term. Meltdown to me always sounded less violent, more system overload and shut-down. But idk.

Thanks for posting that video AspieOtaku, it made some things make sense to me. I didn't really know what constituted a meltdown exactly so I've never thought about it that much. This thread makes me think I probably have more shutdowns than meltdowns but a few times in my life I have been dragged into situations by my dysfunctional family with people fighting verbally or physically and I felt so stupid because I would just lose it and scream and swear and end up making more of a spectacle of myself than the original incident. It's like there's a point where normally you would stop but during these events you can't help yourself and you just keep going, ranting and raving
I feel so ashamed and sad when I think about these times and it actually made me pull away from my family a lot over the last several years. I find when I'm around more normal people my only real problems are worrying that they don't like me and not being able to reciprocate with small talk, eye contact and emotional gestures even when I really like them.

That sounds really, reeeally familiar. I had a couple things happen in my life recently where I was able to alienate my entire family and forego the dysfunction entirely. That sounds like something you've been through as well. And I'm sure you're being made to feel like a bastard for it, too. That's what society does. I abhor mother's day. I skip the birthdays. And even though I'm happier without them in my life, I still have those little twinges of "I'm the worst person in the world." But if it leads to more happiness (via less strife) then it's just one of those "do what you gotta do" situations.

I think of relationships with significant others. After just a two year relationship, it's hard to let go, even when there's nothing worth salvaging anymore. We cling to what we know. That's a real bitc* when it's someone you've known since you were born. Don't let it get you down - it gets better.

And I hear you on the small talk, eye contact, gestures thing. I think everyone here does. I tend to do big, ugly gestures to try to make up for it. No subtlety at all. What do girls like? Flowers. Go buy her a bunch because that's what you do when she wants to leave. Because hey, I can't get close enough to her to give her the emotional commitment she actually wants. So give her an insult instead, ya know? That's a pretty outdated example for me, but whatever. I don't really have advice on that one; just empathy. Haven't figured it out yet myself. (And I'm SURROUNDED by beautiful women right now! Without a clue or a chance in hell, pffffft!)

For me, personally, when I feel hopeless is what causes the majority of my meltdowns. Again, for me, a meltdown is when I start screaming, holding my head, rocking, or stimming badly, crying, throwing things... That kind of stuff. It feels like anxiety builds up and then the only way to release it is to panic more. Stimming tends to help out of the most for me. I recently had one and felt a ton better when I rocked.

Yep, if a social convention like a holiday makes no sense to me I have no patience for it but I also don't want to be an "other" which causes the short term conflict you were talking about. I honestly don't expect anything for my birthday and I'm usually embarrassed by any pointless attention I receive for having not died for a year but I know I'll hurt someone else's feelings if I ignore theirs.



I hope so. When I realise that the reason I can't walk away from my family completely must be because I still love them a bit (when I mostly thought I didn't any more) it makes me realise most of them should be grateful I haven't wiped them completely from my life so that they're dead to me.

The term can be loosely applied to all these situations as per Webster's definition:
2: a rapid or disastrous decline or collapse
3: a breakdown of self-control (as from fatigue or overstimulation)
When it's used in conjunction with autism it just usually means something more specific.

Oh god, this is the conversation I've waited 32 years to have with someone!