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tall-p
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16 Jun 2012, 2:32 am

My 2¢ is that you can tell if you are in romantic love because you can't stop thinking about about your beloved. And if you are near that person you can't stop looking at her/him. Once you start kissing, and make love, then the romantic love goes out the window. Then you are into the realm of erotic love... good luck.

There's the love that some parents feel for their children that I like to describe as "ultimate concern."


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outofplace
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16 Jun 2012, 3:17 am

It's a loaded question, really. Since I have only known unrequited love, I can't say what it is like to have the whole mutual thing going on. However, I will say that it is as much a choice as it is an emotion. There is no-one on this planet that is always loveable. Every relationship will have it's moments of emotional agony when you don't feel very loving towards that person. However, the reason you choose to stick it out is because you have chosen to love that person. It's not so much about lust as it is about what that person's soul does for your soul. Thus, love is very much a choice based upon feelings, actions and an almost spiritual connection with another human being.


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C0MPAQ
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16 Jun 2012, 1:21 pm

If you want to fall in love with someone:
- the sex/gender of the person needs to be according to your own sexuality
- you have to pick a person who you could imagine a relationship with, if you are after looks, it cannot be someone who is not attractive/appealing to you
- you should be near where the person is and you can see each other, for example at work, but you should normally see that person only briefly and not talk too much or at all to him/her (e.g. he/she works on the same level in the building, but at a different office/company, so that you see him/her only in the lift or if he/she leaves office)
- talk to that person initially one time or twice and ask about the most important things that make up your ideal partner if possible (neutral things e.g. are you interested in X? Not: Are you honest, rich as hell and how big is your penis?) The person has to fully meet whatever lose criteria you ask about or else it won't really work.
- if you are female you should talk to the person such that he/she becomes interested and seeks more contact with you
- skip on masturbation, reduce it by 90%
- think of the person consciously and fantasize all sorts of imaginary ideal things how he/she could be like and what he/she does if you get sexual thoughts
- don't really talk to that person at all or avoid conversations inconspicuously for at least a month, then have longer contact again and then again a month of no contact
- look at the person as if you were obviously very interested in him/her if you see each other accidentally

If you start becoming more than obsessed with that person within three month and you feel physically and mentally sick and become psychotic and your life starts failing because you can't think/act clearly because you can think of nothing else than that person and nothing else really matters to you anymore, if you feel 24/7 like you have been drugged with something very potent: congratulations, you fell in love.


Edit: You must not really know the person and not know too much about him/her initially. When your brain notices that something is going on relationship wise, but you are left in the dark about the details, it will likely fill that gap with all sorts of idealistic information, which makes love possible and is one of the major elements of being in love. While you are in love, your ability to look at the person of interest realistically will be severely impaired as long as it lasts.


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CockneyRebel
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16 Jun 2012, 5:44 pm

I've never been in love before, so I can't really answer that question.


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mentallyskilled
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16 Jun 2012, 6:55 pm

every time i see this thread i think "baby dont hurt me". i know this has nothign to do with the post im not meaning to troll i just had to get it out



little_black_sheep
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16 Jun 2012, 7:32 pm

dominique wrote:
The closest I think I get to "love" is being kind of "obsessed" with someone-having to find out everything about them, like an interesting subject. Once exhausted in my *obsession* I'm pretty much over it.


It is the same for me. In generell I believe love to be a mixture of physical attraction and chemical reactions, which create an excitement we attribute to the presence of the loved one.


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