Being ignored.

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I have only posted on a few forums in my life. I feel comfortable on WP and a small TV show forum. I stuck out a lot on a couple of larger TV show forums, and I have stopped posting there. I say what I want on the two forums that I post on, and I don't feel ignored or isolated, even though many people are bester at back and forth interaction than I am. I am happy with the amount of interaction that I have on my forums.

My biggest problem on forums is becoming obsessed with my POSTAVG. Recently, I have been too busy to obsess about this, and my POSTAVG has dropped too.

I like being ignored. Better than getting flamed or mocked or made fun of or getting false accusations or getting rude responses or meanness from people. I wish bullies did the same to me in my childhood.

I am also afraid to hug and kiss people and I don't know the cues to do it even though others do it. I am afraid to play practical jokes too fearing the person get mad. I am shy in social situations and withdrawn because I don't know how to act or what to say. I am more comfortable around family or people who know me. I still don't play practical jokes, I do joke though and use sarcasm and my mother has told me I do hurtful humor sometimes. I don't understand how it's hurtful. I used to tease all the time as a kid and did stuff to get reactions and I didn't know when to stop. It made kids reject me and my own friends avoid me and I am thinking now they were telling me they can't play or to come back tomorrow just to avoid me. I can remember mom telling me this story and I would come back the next day and they have the same excuse again and she felt bad for me. She never told me what their intentions were as a kid. Teasing runs in my family but they all know when to stop and I didn't. I had been teasing since I was an infant. Just imagine how confusing it must be for an aspie for them to see kids tease each other and do goofy things but when they do it, it's a crime and they still keep on doing it thinking others are just over reacting or not knowing why they are getting mad at them. My mother remembers me coming home from school in 6th grade and telling her other kids are allowed to misbehave and I am not so she went to school and demanded I be video taped in class so she can see what is going on. She saw other kids were doing goofy things and not paying attention to our student teacher during math and I was just reading or writing and then falling asleep. My mother was mad about it, mad about how worse the kids were acting and my student teacher and staff were making a fuss over me reading a book or writing or sleeping? I knew then they were not supposed to be acting that way but they were allowed to because nothing was ever done about it and I knew if I joined in, I would get in trouble. Why was I so different? I also think sometimes school staff likes picking on special students because they are in special ed or on the IEP so they single them out and make a bigger fuss about their behavior despite normal kids acting up too and being worse than them. My mom thinks that is why they did that because I was in special ed even though I did not go to the classroom. That is one of the reasons why I would rebel in school because I wanted to be treated normal and not discriminated but in 6th grade I was defeated because I would not be able to go on this special trip to the indoor water park all 6th graders go to at the end of the year if I get three strikes to misbehavior. I've rebelled on this forum too five years ago when i was being singled out and discriminated by members here. My threads kept getting locked or moved to the mod section and others were allowed to talk about their sexual fetishes or weird things but when I would, people would react and it would make me mad. So I kept on doing it. I finally got banned in November of 2007 so I started to post under my sockpuppet and behaved better. Alex and the mods knew it was me and I never hid the fact who I was as Spokane Girl. I did not make threads on my fetish again but whenever people would react to my threads in the adult section, I would get mad. Then I would get sarcastic by saying "Okay will people please get mad at this person too" (I don't remember my exact words) because it wasn't fair that I had to get mistreated and other people get treated well when they start a topic on their sexual fetish, the same fetish I am into, or when they post something weird. Now so far I have not faced any discrimination on here as LG. I don't know what changed. Maybe because I have cut back on my humor and posting in the adult section and cut back on my unpopular opinions. So that is why I don't see aspies as any different from NTs and why I see them just as bad as them. I see they can treat me the same way as NTs treated me. Now when I see members here using their sense of humor, I envy them how no one gets mad at them about it and I wish I could still do mine and I didn't see any reactions to my humor until I was told people say I am a troll or have reported me or that I provoke people. So that is why I like being ignored. I do not know what anyone is thinking so I wouldn't know about it and I think I am fine. Even one former mod here has told me my humor is not her cup of tea but she finally liked my prank about me pretending to be a mod here. I even carried the badge under my name just for that day and the next day it was gone. But I do love pulling pranks on April 1st every year and make enemies every year for it because they choose to believe the joke is real. Now my husband wants me to check with him now before I do one because he also does not like my humor I do that day.

As for Facebook, I don't make many comments there or posts.

I do reply to the OP too but I also make responses in reference to what other people have posted in the thread all in one post. No point in spamming the thread with different posts when I can do it all in one. I used to respond to the OP only and be done with it.

mine too. Apparently most of what I say is "controversial," and I have no idea why. To make things even more confusing and lame, not everyone is expected to follow the same set of rules. I'm always the one catching s**t for doing something other people do without anyone bothering them.

I am 100% the same... I have no trouble making sarcastic jokes, I joke about everything around my Mum to get a reaction. I remember growing up with her and my older brother, she was always in bed, depressed, she wouldn't make our lunches or walk us to school, just stay in bed all day. So now that I'm older, I have these signs of her changing seared into my head, and I am obsessed with making her laugh, just so she doesn't fall back into the "hole".

Around other people, though? I make a joke and suddenly everyone is laughing awkwardly, then they turn back to each other to continue their conversations.
But that's okay... I'll send the data to my home planet when they come and pick me up in their spaceship, hah. I've used that as a defence a lot. I find awkward situations unbearable.

Whenever I joke, though, it's because I want to see a reaction from someone. There have been times in large communities where I have made a joke where people actually found it humorous. I ended up saving the conversation to my computer and re-read it at least a hundred times, which must make me seem sad...

Also, completely off topic, but I've noticed a lot of people on this forum don't use paragraphs, they use a wall of text. I was notorious for doing this, but after I write out a huge wall of text, I smash it up until they're smaller walls.
I hope no one will be offended by that, I just thought it was curious. I know from my perspective, once I get the "inspiration" everything just purges out into one solid form.
I don't actually have trouble reading posts like that, but I've seen a lot of NT complain and make fun of people who write in this way. Often, completely ignoring what was written.

My observation is that on other forums people are there to talk to other people, the forum subject matter is just to break the ice. I've always found this strange.

Have you noticed how there is so little of the "oh, you won't believe what day I had.. yadda yadda" on WP or even say Hi or Bye properly? It's normal here to be direct and subject orientated.

Jason

you have to put yourself out there if you want people to care about your existence.

I'd rather be ignored than bullied or picked on.

i get ignored constantly. at school, at work. everyone at work is friends with each other and jokes around and has fun. i met my boyfriend at work and am friends with a couple coworkers, but for the greater part, i am ignored. the fact that i have been ignored for so long and it is continuing into my adult years is driving me to depression. if someone could PM me with how to help this it would be greatly appreciated

and i've tried the "putting myself out there" thing. it does not work for me.

Pray tell us how.

That's the thing... When I do "put myself out there", that is when the ignorance starts.
If you make no effort at all, of course don't expect to be noticed in a "normal" everyday society, but when you are making the effort and feel as though you are invisible, or simply not worth talking to, well... that's sort of what I was trying to explain.

I get that a lot like when I'm with my mum and the other person talks more to her and then I feel I shouldn't be there.

I used to write in blocks of text, then I decided to split it up.

I also can't stand block of text so I tend to not read it if the post is too long.

Most social interaction boils down to who you are, not what you do. If you happen to be, say, on the lower end of the social hierarchy (like so many aspies), you can expect to get away with far less than someone who is higher up and more well liked.

For example, a person who is in real good with their supervisor can pull a prank on his boss without serious repercussions whereas someone who is not as well favored by that same boss would get into trouble for doing the same thing. The supervisor, of course, can prank whomever he wants since the workers have to kowtow to his authority.

As far as commenting on message boards, it depends on how frequently you post and how long the other posters have known you. You have a period in which people read your posts and try to judge whether you're worth replying to before they start taking your comments seriously.

I think there's something in that. I wouldn't go as far as to say it's just to break the ice, people do make on-topic posts, but there are plenty of "general chat", too.



Yes, I have! I love it.

I'm guessing it might have something to do with the volume of posts here. For example, I read all replies, but by the time I get back to read the new posts, new threads have started and, overall it is easy to get distracted from finding replies to reply to. This does not discount the fact that I read and appreciate every reply. Hopefully, over time it will become easier to search for a specific post - it is harder when i've replied to other threads then try to do a search of my threads, and the reply i'm trying to find gets pushed to the bottom; sometimes i can't remember what thread it's in! Anyway, I don't think it is anything personal either, more like the high amount of posts vs. the difficulty in finding a specific post in a specific thread.

I get ignored a lot by people, in person.