WHERE have all the Adults gone???

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Just putting some perspective, children with ASD have more need for services and parents more need for online help. Having said that there is no reason why people looking for contact with other "adults" can;t find them on this website. Is there anyone here under 18? I haven't come across them?

I think it's because parents advocate for their kids very forcefully - moreso than they might do for themselves.

Who's advocating for the adults? Nobody really. A few concerned individuals here and there, but outside the affected (and I don't think we're terribly well-equipped to advocate for ourselves, as a group) very very few people.

Squeeky wheel gets the grease.

I would not assume that autistic adults require less support than autistic children and their parents. In fact, the abrupt loss of services for many young autistic adults is actually a fairly significant problem for many, and autistic adults' needs are often not really fully understood because historically those needs have rarely been met.

I wonder if the adults, especially the women, are about to start appearing.

My guess is that there are a lot of people out there (and this may, but I can't be sure, apply to more women than men) who are being treated for quite serious depression and anxiety, and the roots of this may be adult autism / aspergers but nobody assesses them for that, they give them a pill, and if they are very lucky a few therapy sessions, and get them functioning just, and send them on their way. As long as you are scraping along and able to drag yourself into work and back that's ok, here take this pill and get back out there....sorry this is becoming a bit of a rant...

I grew up in the 1970s and 80s, at school I was slow developing reading, writing and maths, but not speech, and had mostly caught up by age 8, socially though I always struggled.

However, I was quiet, very polite, in-offensive, a bit nerdy and did not cause any trouble or disruption in class.

The social struggling was noticed and I was sent on some kind of odd 'self development' weeks course at 14 though no-one ever told me why I'd been selected for it, and it did little to nothing to address my social problems, and no-one assessed me for anything.

Now I may or may not have autism, I'm currently seeking assessment, but because I still struggle on and 'get by' enough then no-one has thought to assess me for it. Up until about 3 months ago I didn't know what high functioning autism was, and I thought only men could get Aspergers. And I consider myself quite well read and informed...

So I think this myth may have come about that people grow out of autism / adhd / add/ aspergers. This is just not true, I think people adapt, some very well, but the different ways of thinking and processing remain.

I also think that the fact that the fact that many societies now seem to expect:

1) You should have excellent social skills and emotional intelligence, but

2) There are no longer clear rigid writtten rules of social etiquette and politeness (not sure if these were a good thing or not) and

3) Nobody is teaching people what the current social rules are

puts people with poor social skills at a distinct disadvantage and makes life very much more stressful than previously.

I think the adults are out there, just not diagnosed yet, or only diagnosed with co-morbid conditions such as anxiety and depression brought on by the stresses and strains of living with autism in the modern world.

(edit for grammar / typo)

EstherJ -Yes, it is interesting.

I have chronic anxiey and clinical depression, which I am now increasing becoming able to manage through having had very helpful therapy, (about 2 years worth), a much better understanding of myself, and currently, also a low dose of medication which I eventually hope not to need.

The root causes of this are definitely primarily due to how I adapted to the way I was treated as a child, and,a lack of appropriate support for my failings to socialise well with others (there were a lot of bad adaptations, unfortunately - I've needed to change a lot recently - autism may also be a part of this.)

It was the poor adult interventions at the time, and the maladaptive behaviours I have adopted subsequently, that have caused me signifcant issues later in life.

I have been told by professionals that as a result of this, I am in a permanent state of semi-heightened anxiety most of the time, and this may never change; the solution is to learn ways to manage this that don't affect me negatively, which I'm slowly learning to do.

I do wonder how many other people who are autistic / neuro-diverse in some way, but were never given appropriate help as children,q and STILL haven't got appropriate help as adults, are still out there struggling along somewhere. I suspect a LOT.

Ojani - Yes, I think everyone should get social skills training as a child. Adults who didn't get that as children might benefit from some training too - I know I would

And the other thing that bothers me (sorry this is turning into a rant again...) is:

I'm reasonably intelligent, can be assertive for my own health, and am fairly eloquent, I also have had access to finance to pay for assistance on occasion either private or through the public free healthcare I can get.

I've had to demand help, I first identified I needed it in my late 20s, and its taken me nearly 10 years of pushing and asking on and off to get the help I needed.

How many adults are there out there who need appropriate support, who cannot advocate for themselves, and as a result just don't get the help they need?

Who is helping them get their voices heard?

It seems so profoundly unjust.

(Ok, I know there are some advocacy organisations and people out there, but maybe not yet enough. I'm going to go away and calm down now - venting and ranting over)

As far as women are concerned -

Too many people are prepared to make excuses for us rather than actually look at, realize and admit, what is truly going on. Sensitive, shy, smart, are seen as acceptable for girls. It's not until you reach adulthood and still have no to very little social skills that anyone will take notice, because we are expected to have social skills by that point.

TalksToCats, I was sent to finishing school at 11 for the same reasons you stated. And then sent to modelling school at 13 in another attempt to improve my social skills.

I've noticed there's a particular lack of support or literature for Aspie parents.
I was excited to hear that there is an "asperger's parents support group" in my area... Until I discovered that it was a support group for parents whose children have asperger's
I can't find anything to help an Aspie raise an NT toddler!!

I have read a book that talked about parenting as an autistic mother (which is not entirely relevant to you) called Women From Another Planet?

I purchased it on Amazon last year after anbuend suggested it.

I just did a google search for "autistic parents" and google turned it onto "autism parents" without an option to search for "autistic parents" instead. Sometimes, I really hate google. Like whenever it changes my searches.

I found this post on ballastexistenz about a mailing list called ASpar:

http://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/20 ... -politics/

Naturally, a list about AS parents is for the children of autistic parents and not the autistic parents themselves.

Also, I found this article written by an autistic mother:

http://web.archive.org/web/200906051904 ... nting.html

They focus so much on the children in the hopes that they don't grow up like us.

(Seriously, that is the reason.)

Not much you can do for adults other than services.