Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

Does anyone have a anger problem?

Page 2 of 2 [ 19 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

Previous topic | Next topic

OJani
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2011
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,505
Location: Hungary

30 Jun 2012, 3:00 am

arisu wrote:
quite the opposite in my case. i don't get angry very often.

i usually pick apart my own anger very quickly. i ask myself why i'm angry, whether i should be etc.

for example: i'm running to the elevator and someone presses the "door close" button.

i could be pissed, thinking "that bastard." instead, i wait for the next elevator and think something like this: well, maybe he didn't see me. perhaps it was too late to press "door open" or he didn't react fast enough. maybe he was just in a really big hurry. by the time this thought process takes place, usually in the course of 2-3 seconds, i'm find that it's not worth being angry over.

i'm much more likely to get mad at myself than at other people and in those situations i ask myself if it's really my fault, could the situation have been avoided and what can i do to make sure the problem doesn't happen again. i found out a few years ago that these are things they teach in anger management classes but it's just the way i've lived most of my life.

I think these are useful tips. I'd add maybe thinking of positive things or persons who you respect or regard as a role model can help too.

Just in the past year I've made a dent in a car door and cracked the windscreen of a bus. Hitting and throwing objects happen to me several times a year, and I'm nearing 40 now. I literally fear myself, so I try to avoid all situations that can trigger my anger. In general, when I experience less anxiety it is less likely that I have an incident. So finding means to reduce anxiety can help.

Sometimes I just can not "walk away", like when I'm on my bicycle for example, and something just happens in the traffic that sets me off.

Just saying in your head "stay calm, don't fret" is often not enough. When I broke that windscreen I thought I'm calm, didn't say a word, just hit... :?



outofplace
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jun 2012
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,771
Location: In A State of Quantum Flux

30 Jun 2012, 4:02 am

I tend to internalize my anger most of the time. Even when a situation warrants it, I can usually stay detached and calm. Part of this may well be that my lifelong problems with depression tends to cut back on the strength of my emotions to the point that I use it as a counterbalance of sorts. In fact, the only way I can act angry is if I plan it in advance as a metered response to an injury someone has caused me. I find that not getting angry at certain situations makes others feel they can take advantage of me, so I often have to fake it even when I would much rather just go back inside, lay in my bed and post things to the internet.


_________________
Uncertain of diagnosis, either ADHD or Aspergers.
Aspie quiz: 143/200 AS, 81/200 NT; AQ 43; "eyes" 17/39, EQ/SQ 21/51 BAPQ: Autistic/BAP- You scored 92 aloof, 111 rigid and 103 pragmatic


vindaloo
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jun 2012
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 59

30 Jun 2012, 5:40 am

I tend to bottle stuff up and it either dissipates of it's own accord or if people keep pusing my buttons I'll eventually snap at them, and feel a lot better afterwards.