The influence of nurture - a poll

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I selected abusive childhood -- difficult adulthood, but although my dad was troubled and swung at me in anger several times (I developed a good duck, cover and scream bloody murder reflex to hostility -- I later learned that he had been SEVERELY abused as a child), the real abuse occurred at the hands of my classmates and the school system.

My mother was the primary caregiver, and although diagnosed Schizophrenic following a breakdown when I was 7 years old, she took her meds religiously and they worked for her. Growing up, she was my best friend -- we shared hobbies and she tried to understand my quirks. I have no doubt she did all she could think to help, but help wasn't available during the 60s and 70s.

My elementary school years I was often picked on by my classmates, and treated hostilely by the teachers. My second grade teacher angrily dumped my desk out in front of the whole class because I couldn't find my pencil fast enough.

I got along well with the other kids in the neighborhood, but school was an entirely different matter. In fact, during 6th grade, the school bus stop was outside our immediate neighborhood and I was so mercilessly picked on that my dad took to waiting in the car until the bus came.

When I graduated, I tried to go to college, and while I did enjoy exploring the material we were learning in class, and mostly got good grades, anxiety kept catching up with me, resulting in what I now know were shutdowns.

Unable to face finding a job, I jumped at the first chance to marry that crossed my path (I didn't see this at the time, but I now realize) -- that lasted 10 years. I got a job working animal care at a primate sanctuary. For seven years, that place was almost as much a sanctuary for me as for the residents, but the money I earned did keep a roof over my head and food in the pantry. Except for the occasional broken air conditioner or car problem, I stood on my own two feet for those 7 years.

In '98 I met my current husband, and in '99 I went back to school to study computers. Since then, I've mostly been able to function, actually being the family wage-earner for the past 10 years, but it still is far from easy. It has helped that hubby had spent so much time in therapy that his first reflex when there is a problem is to discus and analyse it.

_________________
If it don't come easy . . . .
. . . .hack it until it works right

Aspie score: 142/200 NT score: 64/200
AQ Score: 42
BAP: 109 aloof, 94 rigid and 85 pragmatic