Bunnynose wrote:
i_Am_andaJoy wrote:
Bunnynose wrote:
The word you're looking for, Joe90, is humiliate. Your friend caused you humiliation. She was not patronizing you and she did not patronize you.
Look at the differences in their meanings:
Humiliate: to make (someone) feel ashamed and foolish by injuring their dignity and self-respect, esp. publicly.
Patronize: to treat with an apparent kindness that betrays a feeling of superiority.
Um... this could be an excellent example of being patronizing.
Ha-ha.
But no. Just trying to be informative without being mean or patronizing.
From her other posts, it appears Joe90 is still grappling with words and their meanings. When I was her age, I loved dictionaries, thesauruses and encyclopedias. Now with the internet and computers, we have instant access to virtual libraries. Anyway finding the right word has always been a particular interest to me (but perhaps an annoyance to others).
I don't think you were intending to be patronizing.
That's why it was so funny.
I don't think intent is necessary.
Many people who are patronizing do not intend to be.
You may think you are being informative, but whether Joe feels humiliated or not is subjective on her part.
You can't really argue that humiliate is a more appropriate word, and that Joe is incorrect, because Joe is telling us how she feels.
If the situation happened to you, then sure, you might feel humiliated, and that would be the right word for you.
Finding the right word does not always apply when the words belong to someone else.
Saying that Joe is "grappling with words and their meanings" is a judgement call, you are indicating that you think your ability is superior to hers. If someone said that to me, I'd find it very patronizing.
But, good job validating the OP's complaint.
Pshaw. We all make judgment calls, including you. And Joe90 consistently puts herself up for scrutiny. And you want only that we give "good" comments?
Good, bad or indifferent -- your commenting only critiques others' comments. What "joy" have you brought to this discussion?