Hidden Aspergers?

Post Reply New Topic

I also have a mild case of it but I have never ran into anyone in real life who didn't say I don't have it. If anyone has thought that of me, no one has ever dared to say it to my face. But I don't also tell people I have it so I haven't ran into this yet. Even my teachers in middle school and high school didn't treat me bad or punish me for my traits. I was on the IEP anyway. In fact back when I was open about having AS, kids at school were like "What's Asperger's?" They didn't know what it was and it was still new then so less people knew about it. Even I didn't really understand it then.

But I have gotten "You seem normal" (online and in real life)and I always took it as a compliment. It just meant I have gotten that far and now people can't tell anyone I have something wrong with me when we first meet or don't see me often. In fact I can past my symptoms off as something else and people won't even know. Or it means those people don't look for things wrong with someone and decide "oh that is so not normal" "Oh that is so normal" "Oh that isn't normal" so to them, anything is normal and they accept weirdness too and say that is normal.


But I wonder if kids in my high school thought I was faking my problems because then that would explain how they treated me. I just thought then they didn't care about my issues and my mom told me "they don't know you have Asperger's because they are just kids and they think you are in special ed because you never listen to the teachers so you have to be in there for it." I didn't realize they be that stupid and how would my mother know they would be thinking that? I guess that shows how impaired my TOM was or my mother could have been wrong about what they were thinking. Maybe they just thought I was faking it. I didn't come to this idea until I reached my twenties. I came to that conclusion from reading this forum and other places online and people who get treated badly for their traits or issues, it's always because the person does not believe someone has AS or another problem. Heck my office clerk didn't believe me I had problems when I tried to explain it to him without saying I have AS. He kept saying I needed to use common sense and stuff and I would explain I need help with things being spelled out to me and I have a hard time reading between the lines. When things get moved, it really messes me up and confuses me and then I have to start all over and I don't know where it is anymore so I have to find it and also when I am taught something, I have to do it all the time or I forget how to do it if it's only a one time thing. I also need to be reminded to do something because then I forget and I don't think think about looking at my note pad and that happens if I don't do it now so I needed to be reminded. Would it have made any difference if I just mentioned the darn label? I am convinced now some people need a label to understand someone for the reason why they are the way they are or how their minds work or else you are faking it or making excuses or just stupid.

I agree with this. I've gotten much better at "pretending" to be normal... I can carry on a conversation, but inside I'm an anxious wreck (am I making enough eye contact? Too much? What's my face doing? My hands? Am I saying the right thing? Does my voice sound right?) So people who know me REALLY well and know my stims, my meltdowns, all the classic aspie stuff that has nothing to do with communication.... and the fact that if you're around me long enough, you'll figure out that I can't read faces well and I can't communicate feelings well (or pick up on non-verbalized feelings in others). People who don't know me well (usually colleagues) see someone cool, collected, who knows what they're talking about and what they're doing.