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Kiseki
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19 Jul 2012, 9:05 am

I have taken "mental wellness days" before. I DO feel bad about it when I call in, but if I can't do my job due to anxiety then SCREW IT! It's necessary to recharge the batteries.


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Steven_Tyler77
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19 Jul 2012, 9:15 am

I've never had a job, but I did do the same thing during school, high school, college and master's classes. I've always told my teachers that I was sick, when it was just either my mood or the fact that I was going through a burnout. There's nothing wrong with it. These are serious health issues. The only wrong thing is the fact that employers, schools and colleges are not willing to consider the fact that these are serious issues. People should have the right to take a day off when feeling unwell due to depression or anxiety. Then, there would be no need to lie. No need to have a bad conscience over it. Employers don't usually have a bad conscience over treating their workers as s**t either...


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Moondust
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19 Jul 2012, 9:55 am

I once called in sick and when back at the office, I told my boss I was having so many problems in my personal life all at the same time, that I had fallen into bed without being able to get up that day (this was the ultimate truth). She took it very naturally. That said, I often work on weekends and holidays and on my own vacations, just because I want to, not because anyone expects it from me. I just enjoy assisting the clients and not letting them wait for me, if it's not too much of an effort for me on those days. Here, the line between personal needs and the needs of the job are very blurred, unlike in the Anglo-Saxon world, and I take advantage of it for my aspie days when I just can't face the NT world.


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CuriousKitten
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19 Jul 2012, 11:02 am

The dividing line I've always used is "am I contagious?" If I am, I call in sick. If I'm not, and a can claw my way to my desk, I do. And being a key word. I have had stress headaches that made it hard to claw my way to the phone to call in, and there have been occasions when my calculations of how hard it would be for my teammates to cover were taken into account when deciding how much effort I put into clawing my way in.

that being said, I am considered to be unusually conscientious. I am usually referred to as being a trooper.

Most do take a mental health day from time to time. Don't mention stress or anxiety. Sick headache is a good excuse for the occasional day -- headaches are known to come on quickly and be gone just as quickly. Stomach bug would work on a Friday if you aren't going to see anyone over the weekend when you won't be seeing anyone until Monday -- If you do see someone before time, make sure to stick to your post-stomach upset foods for a what is a normal time for you.


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rebbieh
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19 Jul 2012, 11:08 am

CuriousKitten wrote:
The dividing line I've always used is "am I contagious?" If I am, I call in sick. If I'm not, and a can claw my way to my desk, I do.


I think it would be easier for me to go to work when anxious and depressed if I had a job where I spent most of the time alone (not saying that's what you do). Unfortunately I've got a summer job that requires me interacting with people and being around loads of noise in a rather stressful environment. Can't stand it.



Steven_Tyler77
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19 Jul 2012, 11:09 am

Moondust wrote:
I once called in sick and when back at the office, I told my boss I was having so many problems in my personal life all at the same time, that I had fallen into bed without being able to get up that day (this was the ultimate truth). She took it very naturally. That said, I often work on weekends and holidays and on my own vacations, just because I want to, not because anyone expects it from me. I just enjoy assisting the clients and not letting them wait for me, if it's not too much of an effort for me on those days. Here, the line between personal needs and the needs of the job are very blurred, unlike in the Anglo-Saxon world, and I take advantage of it for my aspie days when I just can't face the NT world.


That would be impossible where I live. It's very hard to get a one or two days off even if you're really sick. One just can't call in sick. You need to take a medical leave, which involves going to the GP and getting a certificate stating that you are unable to work that day. I have a friend who had a bad cold and had to go to her GP to get the certificate during a very harsh winter, which made her problem worse. Also, many supervisors are known to actually call their employees in order to check if they are indeed sick at home, bedridden, and not out in the town for other personal business.

This usually happens in corporations. People who work in small-scale businesses might be lucky to get a more understanding boss, but the legislation in here is not on the worker's side.

This is why I want to be self-employed. I could not stand to resign my freedom to take a day off when I need it - and I need it quite often, due to the clash between my Aspie self and the NT world...


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puddingmouse
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19 Jul 2012, 11:14 am

^The workplace climate in your country is actually counter-productive to productivity.


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Joe90
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19 Jul 2012, 11:29 am

I know it's normal for everybody to have ''bad emotional days'' every now and then, but it happens to me at least once a week and the bad feelings take over. Even if I went on meds it still won't change me completely.


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Moondust
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19 Jul 2012, 11:31 am

Steven, that may be why employers prefer Eastern European or Russian employees here, they're known to never call in sick. :-)

What's also customary here is to come to work even if you're terribly sick and cough / complain / drag your feet / hold your head / speak hoarsely so much that colleagues and boss send you home. You insist you're fine while all the time exaggerating any symptoms, and so it looks like they had to convince you to take the day off. That way no one takes it badly, because they feel it was "their" idea. Then you only answer the phone at home with a sick voice, in case it's someone from work. That way they all say "she sounded really sick". This is so commonplace here that we all do it without thinking.


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rebbieh
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19 Jul 2012, 11:39 am

Joe90 wrote:
I know it's normal for everybody to have ''bad emotional days'' every now and then, but it happens to me at least once a week and the bad feelings take over. Even if I went on meds it still won't change me completely.


I have "bad emotional days" pretty much every day. I had a "neutral day" about three days ago and that surprised me.



namaste
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19 Jul 2012, 11:51 am

now i work at a part time job 6 hours job but there is traveling all together 7 hours. But most of the time my body aches and there are pains and stress etc.
Last 3 years i was at home resting and doing nothing
Before that i was working full time and the situation was far worse i was totally stressed, exhausted and could not cope with full time job i had to juggle baby, house, house hold chores

Honestly even i can't handle full time job and somehow i drag myself to this partime job. so i can understand what you are trying to say.


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19 Jul 2012, 12:27 pm

I didn't go to class today because we were doing a group critique of our art projects. The project isn't due today and its just showing what you have so far. But the thought of being grouped with 5 other students to show stuff that I am not happy with yet freaked me out. There have been many days I have done this in many different areas of my life. And I always feel awful and panic because of not going.

You are in no way alone in this.



Jtuk
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19 Jul 2012, 4:28 pm

I'm not adverse to taking a sick day for these reasons. However, I set myself a quota so I don't hit any disciplinary problems. I then weigh up wether or not that particular day is worth using up my allowance. I find this helps, knowing I could take the day off, but choosing not too.

I am lucky in that I have plenty of paid leave and I can take leave at relatively short notice. I also have a flexible working scheme, so I can leave early or work from home. This makes work much easier to manage.

Both of my main employers have been flexible, so that's one reason why I've managed to remain in employment without any issues.

Jason



YellowBanana
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19 Jul 2012, 4:49 pm

League_Girl wrote:
I have always refused to call in sick no matter how I am feeling unless I am truly sick like a fever or the flu or a very bad cold I get a very bad headache when I stand or sit. To me it's always a sign of weakness if I were to let depression get in the way or stress or anything and I have struggled at work through stress. One time I was sent home by my boss at one of my old jobs because I was so upset about my dog I had. I came to work so upset and was crying.


I used to be like this. Then I had a massive stress induced meltdown/shutdown/breakdown at work where I couldn't move or speak and had to be taken to the doctor by a member of senior management who found me like that. I ended up being signed off work with stress. One of the indicators that I was ready to go back to work after 4 months (according to my GP) was that I had stopped beating myself up about how pathetic I was that I couldn't cope at work and was also feeling less guilty about being off.

Lesson learned - now when I very stressed or anxious I take sick leave. I don't plan to go through that hell again and a day off here and there to give me some recovery time is far better than ending up on long term sick leave again. I have taken three sick days since returning to work in January, plus have been sent home twice at lunch time by my line manager who could see I wasn't coping well on those days (days when I was trying to stay the full day in the workplace rather than working from home in the afternoon which is part of my phased return).

Before I ended up on long term sick leave I had not taken any sick leave in the 6.5 years I'd been in the job.

I don't think anyone should feel bad or weak about taking days off due to mental health issues. 'Being Strong' can lead to serious consequences.


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Moondust
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19 Jul 2012, 9:57 pm

YellowBanana, thank you for sharing that, I think it's important for all of us to learn from it.


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rebbieh
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20 Jul 2012, 1:38 am

Thanks for all the answers!

I still feel just as anxious today but I sort of have to go to work today. My summer job requires I'm social and polite and it's in a very stressful environment. I really don't want to be around people right now. I have to work for 6 hours today. Those 6 hours are going to feel more like 12 hours though. Time goes by so slowly at that place. Hate it. Anyone got any advice on how to get through the day?