When people are talking about special interests and obsessions, I know exactly what you mean. They have been the most important part of my life in years. But I never knew that I had so many similarities with Aspergers syndrome before some months ago, I just thought I was a normal guy (with explanations of course, I've seen people talk about seeing themselves as "gifted", I thought that was me as well), and I tried to handle my interests in a normal way. In long periods I have just been depressed and empty while denying myself my interests because I did not want the stigma of it. In other parts of my life I have been obsessed all time, every day, but I have also managed to control it, by force. I am not in autopilot at all anymore, I have decided what I should be interested in, I have removed every other possibility of having other interests, and now I'm just psychologically damaged because of it. I don't have any obsessions. I can't engage in anything. My old obsessions obviously don't work for me anymore, they were controlled and was dependant on many other factors that now are gone. I'm overly disciplined, and everything is just dead.
I just wanted to write that here.
05 Sep 2012, 6:10 am
