How many friendship attempts to get 1 friend?
1 but the right person. All my closest friends I've found by accident like my closest (he was sat next to me at school by the teacher), 3 I lived with in shared houses, 3 I found by walking into a bar 4000 miles from home, while others I worked with.
You make friends by finding people who you share interests, experiences and opinions then you get used to having them around. People can tell if your trying too hard to be friends and it worries them, you have to find a happy medium. It's normal to have a several acquaintances but true friends are rarer.
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AQ 41
Your Aspie score: 139 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 68 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
Friendship isn't something that should be forced...
But, you can join school/work clubs, local social groups, charities, meetup. com, and similar groups that are meant to introduce people to each other.
Yes, and because oftentimes we have a paucity of friends, we might be way too overly eager to make a friend. I know I've made the mistake of being too accepting of others....sometimes they then use or mistreat me
Because so many NTs have an abundance of friends, they can be choosey. After all, they don't 'need' to be friendly with the newcomer - they already have plenty. So they're more selective. This can leave us at a real disadvantage.
Ironic in that most Aspies truly are friendly people. Yet we are so easily hurt by those who are more socially crafty. One reason I like men better is because I've noticed [NT] women can be socially manipulative....and cruel and critical in insidious ways. 'Mind game' players. Ouch.
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The ones who say “You can’t” and “You won’t” are probably the ones scared that you will. - Unknown
How much time are you spending with each person in these clubs before moving on to ask to spend time with them individually? It could be an issue of moving too fast and not having enough time to get to know you while in the clubs to a point they'd make time for you on their own. If you want to take the next step and forge a friendship, you have to appropriately gauge whether the person finds you interesting enough, and maybe you aren't giving them enough time for them to develop an impression of you.
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Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.
This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.
My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.
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