If you question your diagnosis, what is the smoking gun?

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1.If social life sucks, why to have it?
2. If you are home and you got stressed by the events at party, why do you cry? I mean, you're home. You're no longer at stressful place. You should be trying to forget ASAP. I mean, surely you understand that crying solves nothing?

Because, although I am probably on the spectrum, I am not a robot?

Seriously?

I seem to have a much easier time to shrug off and accept with zero understanding and to commit those seemingly irrational acts called social niceties and the TOM rules - all which I do not comprehend, cannot come up with on my own - to memory than most people on the spectrum.

But earnestly, I do not think that the difficulties to accept and memorise simple social rules is an actual symptom of autism for those autistic people who obviously can memorise information.

I got it memorised where Sally will look for her marble when Anne hids it. I also got it memorised that people have their own thoughts like me... though I forget all the time. I don't know why it's hard to keep in mind unless I focus on keeping it in mind.

Anyway, with the information I got memorised, I seem to fare better socially in semi-formal and short face-to-face interactions than a lot of socially/TOM-ly higher functioning people who, for some odd reason, know more about other people and socialisation than me intuitively but do much worse in superficial socialisation. (Though they seem to do way better than me online such as on WP and in close emotional relationships in which social rules are more flexible and forgiving... it is confusing.)

I just how well one does in TOM is an issue of interest and attention for most of the time. Normal people have the same struggles (they say they can't understand some strangers, that some people are is impossible to understand or that they are incapable of understanding how a stranger can think the way they do) to accept unusual ways of thinking of other people if they don't care/if they are busy being interested in another topic. Maybe. I'm confused about it.

Maybe I met too many of the autistic people who are less impaired in what is part of the TOM theory/language but totally go on everyone's nerves anyway and act super-socially-oblivious though they later prove to be not-so-oblivious when they start paying attention and met too few of the autistic people whose temporary social and functional performance is way better than their autistic impairments would suggest; whose behaviour and skills effectively hide the severity of their ASD during some situations.

You mean, you are not a robot and you can't forget?
that's why I said ASAP. As Soon As Possible. As fast as you can. It's okay if you feel bad for a while. So, go to sleep. Listen to happy music. Eat pizza. Whatever works for you.
But, dammit, crying will, obviously, only make you remember the stressful event more.

I've just read a new and brilliant book on aspergers "Aspergers in adults: a comprehensive guide for clinicians" It's very thorough and for interested adults it's perhaps the best book on AS I've found. Anyway, very little was said about stimming and virtually nothing on meltdowns, they are not actually in the diagnostic criteria, so are not a smoking gun. Stimming and meltdowns are more often associated with classic autism than with Aspergers.

Jason.

Yes, that's how most people would describe me, I think (insofar as anyone knows me very well). My mother thinks my problems over the last ten years have just been a result of the breakdown of my marriage. Sometimes I think that myself, but then I remember all the "smoking gun" situations.

For example, when I first started posting here, I posted a question, if my apparent symptoms might be because at the age of 9 I became obsessed with world poverty, and since the age of 12 have been studying the topic, alone. One of the wise old timers on this board pointed out that an NT would not do that: if an NT is obsessed with some problem then they join a group, they do not automatically assume that obsessive personal study is the best route. This is all part of another smoking gun: all the weird stuff in my life since childhood makes sense if I have aspergers, but does not make sense if we assume I am just introverted, or depressed, or whatever.

Another smoking gun for me is this forum. A couple of years ago I looked for somewhere to fit in, and couldn't find anywhere. I feel awkward with my family, I have nothing in common with other lonely people (they all seem to lack self esteem, I don't). I have nothing in common with people who share my hobbies (we seem to see the hobbies in very different ways). I have nothing in common with others at the church where I was raised, or with people at work, or anybody as far as I can tell. Then I found this place and immediately felt at home. It is a lifeline. I am not the only one! I love this place. I love you guys (and gals - does "guys" include gals these days?).

I know this isn't proof, so I pushed for an official diagnosis, and got it. For the first time in my life I feel among my own kind.

The real problem with my diagnosis is the key early years. This was 40 years ago when people were not looking for such things. And I was raised in a very strict church, where all social situations were carefully controlled. There was never any need to understand others' feelings, it was all proscribed. I never had to make friends because they were all made for me. I was perfectly able to speak in front of crowds from the earliest age, because it was all just an act, all safe and scripted, with lots of praise for doing the simplest repetitive thing. All the typical diagnosis questions assume a normal upbringing, where the child has to make decisions and will often meet unscripted situations, and that didn't apply to me.

But looking back I maintain that the signs were everywhere. I remember always avoiding eye contact, I remember hating unscripted social situations and not knowing what to do. I remember liking toys for how they were constructed, but never using them to act out scenarios; etc., etc. But I have a younger sibling with far more pronounced symptoms, so I always looked like the normal one in comparison.


We had two days of interviews with my parents present. She wrote the results in a letter. I haven't opened the letter because I hate reading letters about me. It's too stressful.


Possibly. I live in a bedsit. The room is around 4 meters by 3 meters, with tiny kitchen and shower room attached. I mentioned to my brother that I would prefer it if it was half that size, as all I really need is space for a bed, a table and some shelves. He thought I was crazy. I think wanting things you don't need is crazy.


That's a bit like me. It is perfectly possible that a more intensive diagnosis with more specialists would place me in a slightly different category, but I like where I am.


That is true, but once you adjust for IQ I think there is a huge difference. When my IQ was assessed it was only in thre 140s, so it should not cause me huge problems. I should be able to adapt to social situations. But I can't.

If you read any of temple grandin's works she insists that her ability to cope as an adult was partly due to her being taught structure and manners. The church routine for instance was non-negotiable even with her autism.

I would question how you operated outside of the church and these structured environments, but then you've partially answered that with your learning obsessions.

There is less of this structure in modern life, it must be so much harder for AS kids today to appear to conform when everything is so fluid and informal.

Jason.

I don't have a smoking gun, but the thing that led me to being diagnosed was my catatonia. Catatonia isn't just an autism thing, as it is associated with mood disorders and schizophrenia. But I don't have schizophrenia. My depression is quite mild, especially now that I'm on a working anti-depressant. If it was just the catatonia, I'd just chalk it up to me having some weird idiopathic catatonia thingie that no one has ever seen before. But it's catatonia + dyspraxia+ repetitive thoughts + history of social isolation + history of emotional difficulty + history of bizarre preoccupations. In other words, it is not a smoking gun, but more like the last straw on the camel's back.

Whenever I have my doubts (and I do), I just think about the fact that my body is so weirdly disconnected from my brain. It wasn't always like this, but ASD is the best explanation out there for it.

No normal kid learns to read at 18 months, doesn't smile until they're 5, and doesn't speak in full sentences until they're 6. That was my smoking gun. I may "cope well" with being autistic because I'm smart and I've worked really hard at appearing to be NT, but it's just an act.

I've always known I'm different and I've been looking for answers for as long as I can remember, but it took until I was well into my 20s before I hit on autism. That was quite a few years ago now. When I mentioned it to a couple of people they laughed at me, so I sort of let it go and quit thinking about it. A while back it was proposed to me again, and everything fell into place. There isn't a question about it anymore.

Definitely. My family is still active in the church, and another family there has two autistic kids. The difference between their experience and mine is stark. Back in the early 1970s we had seven day per week church activities, rapid growth, and absolute certainty about everything. Today that has all gone. It feels like a completely different church: smaller, weaker, chaotic, disappointing, peripheral, more afraid.

I think I was very lucky.

Hey! I also could read and write before I was 2 years old
Is this also autism?