Why I'll Never Understand the NT World

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No, it wasn't otherwise I would be deferred to him/her and accepted their decision (and challenged it AFTER the game). The argument was actually about who has authority to make calls. It is also a "fun" league but don't take that literally: many of these guys and gals (co-ed) played some competitive ball growing up.

Right but it is a fun league if you want a rulebook you have to have an ump otherwise the rulebook should be left a home.

I should probably clarify that statement. I work on the assumption that *nobody* wants to be corrected or have things clarified, and act accordingly, unless they have explicitly indicated that this is the case *or* I know for certain, again probably because they have told me outright, that this person has a scientific, systematising kinda way of looking at things and so will always be open to new information in this kind of situation. Basically I bite my tongue 95% of the time :p

It sounds to me like they thought you were making too big a deal out of it. That it wasn't a big deal to them and they didn't want it to become all serious. I used to get accused of making too big a deal out of things a lot, and still do sometimes. It is hard to not prove to someone you're right when you are. It bothers me to no end for someone to think I'm wrong when I'm not.

The thing is, you have to learn to let some things go. If you point out things like that a lot then people will start to think of you as a nit picker and will avoid you. It happened to me. I had to learn to just keep my mouth shut and let it go unless it was something that was important. By "important" I don't mean "important to me", I mean something that has enough bad consequences if you don't point it out, that would outweigh any negativity you get from others. In other words if something will actually effect your life or someone elses, then point it out. But if it really won't, and the consequences are minor, let it go.

For me it all came down to choosing if I wanted to be right or have friends. Eventually after keeping my mouth shut for a while and only speaking up when something was important, they started noticing that I was right a lot more than they thought. If you point out wrong things a lot, others won't notice that you are right, they will notice that you annoy them. If you point out wrong things once in a while, and things they appreciate knowing about, they will start to listen to you and even ask your opinion.

Well, I guess that is an easy enough rule: No one likes to be corrected unless they tell you they do.

But then, the truth is, some people say it's ok, but when you do it you find out it really isn't. <sigh>

Only correct family.

Then I won't bother playing in that case. I walked away from bowling once because of this. I said 'if you want to have fun and ignore the rules that's fine but STOP KEEPING SCORE!' I might be extremely competitive but I want a FAIR competition where the rules are clear and are followed equally by both teams. Obviously I don't need everything spelled out and common sense prevails but if it's clearly in the rule I expect it to be followed unless both teams mutually agree otherwise. Is that so hard for some to comprehend (and I'm not directing this at you personally)? Besides, seems kind of silly to leave the rulebook at home. If I were to say slide (which is against the rules) I would be immediately called out on it and this excuse of 'just for fun' wouldn't fly for a second.

Maybe but you are still seen as a snob. And to me fun means have fun, don't take things seriously. And the score is kept just cause it's a game. I don't see the point of playing a game if you don't keep score. Maybe make a list of a few rules and outside of that the rulebook should be hidden. If you want to be in a competitive league go there otherwise don't expect others to want you to correct them.

This sounds like my work career. I have been called a whiner, complainer, etc because I have pointed out where I am right over and over again. Still, this makes no sense to me. Why would any one be annoyed? I'm trying to help EVERYONE by steering people away from bad workplace decisions which drain profit margins. It's not like we are debating religion, politics or anything subjective: only verifiable information. I'm also not one of those people who literally argues everything: only when I'm absolutely certain I'm right and can prove it with concrete facts. Oh well, this goes back to what I said originally: I just don't get the NT world sometimes. Not to derail my own thread but I find it further ironic that many say I can't find a girlfriend because I lack confidence. Yet when I show it like tonight I'm seen as arrogant because I didn't just roll over and not argue. I just can't win!


Snob for following proper rules and trying to help others?! Wow this world is crazier than I thought. I see your point but this is the highest of the three divisions and can get pretty competitive: that's why I signed up for it. I should point out we DO keep score and we ARE battling for playoff positions. If we didn't, I would have been annoyed but not enough to make this thread. Further ironic how in other sports people have told me I don't take things seriously enough.



Are you sure your son and I aren't related? I did the exact same thing at age 10, especially in Geography class. I STILL don't see why that's wrong. If they are trying to teach us incorrect information and tell us it's fact, why the heck shouldn't we speak up? They are supposed to be the smart ones! I can definitely relate to the whole assuming everyone thinks like me. As I mentioned in a previous post, every time I got in trouble was because other kids tricked me. It took me a long time to understand why what I did was wrong because the other kids said it was okay and to trust them. Why shouldn't I?

I had a small child (only 2 or 3) correct me once and I didn't see that as inappropriate, in fact I felt quite the opposite: I just told the child they were right, I was wrong and thank you for bringing it to my attention. Opinions are one thing but if I'm wrong with my facts I would expect and practically demand someone call me out on it.

Last edited by GiantHockeyFan on 09 Aug 2012, 11:17 pm, edited 2 times in total.

If you are competing for playoff positions than you should have umps. My dad competed in slow pitch softball and they always had umps.

My brother asks before he gives me the answer to something. When I am up to it I will allow him to correct me. So first ask before correcting someone.

I was once at a meeting with my colleagues and one of my managers leaned over and whispered in my ear: "If you continue stroking my leg I'll complain to HR about sexual harrassment." I burst in laughter and moved my leg out of his way. It was much nicer of him than if he had said the truth: "Moondust, sorry but you've been disturbing me for a long time bumping my leg with yours." This guy earns a fortune as a sales director, his best skill being that he's able to get away with making customers do as he says without the customers getting offended, on the contrary liking him even more. He's a great, fun guy. One reason we aspies lack the ability to react this way and get out of situations where we're being unfairly criticized with a fun but assertive comment is we lack the self-confidence and social acceptance to not feel threatened when criticized.

I don't understand it either, and to this day I still want to correct people, but I don't. Whether it makes sense or not, they don't like it to happen very often and over small things. They see you as someone who always wants to show off that you're right. I know, I've been in your shoes before.

It offends them. It offends most NT's. Again, I do not understand it either, but if they are wired to be offended by something that you (or I used to) do on a regular basis you have two options. 1. Keep doing it and learn to just put up with being treated the way they treat you 2. Stop doing it except for important things.

Which is more important to you? Not being seen as a whiner, know it all, etc or correcting them? How does it hurt you to just let them be incorrect if the issue is minor?

It's hard to bite your tongue at first, but if you ever want the way they think of you, and subsequently treat you, to change, then you are going to have to do it. I learned how, and believe me it's better to be listened to and have your opinion respected than it is to go behind them and cross every t and dot every i.

If you really expect things to be fair and just, may I remind you--you are on the Wrong Planet!

In the stress and excitement of a game, or a performance, etc., people generally don't want to be corrected. Any such correcting should be done by the officials involved, so bring it up with the officials first, and let them handle it.

I had a lot of trouble understanding and accepting injustice when growing up, and still don't like it. I do know however, that I don't like being corrected, although I have corrected others at times.

What the hell is fun about "those with the greatest persuasive skills get to make and interpret the rules"? Because that's what happens without a clear rulebook.

I still fail to understand why people wouldn't want to be right. I hate being wrong so I would rather be corrected. I think it's all about pride and I think people feel stupid when they are wrong and they want to be right. If they want to be right, accept the correction. I remember the times I get accused of arguing when I correct people. If someone was wrong about me, I corrected them with it. if I felt someone was wrong about something else, I corrected them. I also used to correct my history teacher. It drove her nuts and her husband told her to turn it into a game, see if she can get though teaching class without me correcting her. I totally forgot about this until mom told me the story because she ran into her.

Back in high school I hated how kids played in PE because they would goof off. Like if we were to play softball, it was a struggle because the kids would not take the game seriously. Like one of them hit the ball and run very slow to first base and get out. But yet when we go to softball practice or to one of our softball games, she played normal. I remember her telling me one day in PE "This isn't softball, this is PE softball." I don't enjoy games if people don't play them right.