Page 2 of 2 [ 26 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

lambey
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 10 Jul 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 67

18 Aug 2012, 6:26 pm

i get told i give the "death glare" to people, without even meaning too.

but yeah, i get tired of being asked if im alright, etc.



mrspotatohead
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 4 Apr 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 307

19 Aug 2012, 12:36 am

I asked my mom about why strangers think it's cool to ask your about your facial expressions, and she told me it actually makes her feel good that they care about her enough to ask what's wrong, even when nothing is wrong. Apparently, NTs enjoy being asked about themselves, and unlike me, they don't see it as someone criticizing their face.
On the other hand, my theory is that her face actually does what it's supposed to do, so she's never really run into the problem I've faced all my life...



IgA
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 20 Aug 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 201

18 Sep 2012, 6:09 pm

I have a question along a similar topic as this. I have trouble being likeable because of this very thing -- they say I look like I'm always mad or upset about something and it makes it hard to respond positively to me. As a result, when I try to help people (with what seems like an angry expression) they tend to think I am either being sarcastic about my offer about helping them or I am grudgingly helping themjust because other people are watching and they think I'm only offering to help to SEEM like a good person.

I am being genuine when I offer to help others when I see that I have a solution to their problem. Their perception about me (and hating me and turning down my help because they just don't like me and think I'm being fake) is always wrong, because they only rely on what they perceive to be my outward mood and never on the actions I ALWAYS actually do.

Is there middle ground? Is there a way to not have to fake a certain facial expression to get people to accept my help? (that is if I had that ability to fake expressions, which I don't -- I'm not an actress).



Aprilviolets
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,106

18 Sep 2012, 6:27 pm

I get this too people ask me "What's Wrong" I get annoyed when people tell me to smile all the time I end up being in a bad mood then. :evil: :evil:
They must expect us to go around looking like a cheshire cat all the time. :lol: :lol:



Tuttle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,088
Location: Massachusetts

18 Sep 2012, 6:28 pm

Even worse than being asked if you're sad is being told you need to cheer up.



Aprilviolets
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,106

18 Sep 2012, 6:31 pm

Tuttle wrote:
Even worse than being asked if you're sad is being told you need to cheer up.


Yes I had that too its so annoying.



LordExiron
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 29 Aug 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 205
Location: Florida

18 Sep 2012, 6:36 pm

Yeah, people ask that all the time. My mother is the worst, because she associates whistling with distress and I whistle a lot when I'm somewhere comfortable.



Gazelle
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Mar 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,333
Location: Tropical island

18 Sep 2012, 6:45 pm

People have said either extreme about me: "she's has a flat effect" or "she smiles all the time" :shrug:


_________________
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure."


analyser23
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jan 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 446

18 Sep 2012, 10:17 pm

I get this often too. "Cheer up!" "Smile!" "Smile, it may never happen!" "Why are you so sad?" "You look sad and lonely, let me keep you company"

My year 5 teacher wrote on my report that I didn't smile enough - it was her "quest" to make me smile!

I never smiled in photos, until a few years ago I finally learnt a "photo smile" thank goodness.

People always make a big point to tell me to smile more because I am so much more attractive when I smile (I presume I must look depressed and ugly when I don't!!)

I, too, only learnt a couple of months ago from my psychiatrist that I am considered to have limited facial expression...

Sometimes I amuse myself by wearing a t-shirt with a big smiley face - at least there is a smiling face happening SOMEwhere on me for others to feel more comfortable about ;)



Erminetheawkward
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 23 May 2012
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 111

18 Sep 2012, 11:23 pm

I used to get that all the time, especially in middle and high school. Even now, I have to make a conscious effort to have varied/happy looking facial expressions. It's an odd concept to me to smile when I'm not actually happy or amused, but whatever it takes to keep people from constantly asking me that. It helps to make facial expressions in the mirror to make sure my muscles are moving correctly to give the right impression. Now I make a point to smile at people I know, and keep a little smile on instead of my "neutral" face. No one's been bugging me about it lately.

Also, supposedly it's an American thing to assume constant smile = normal/content. Makes me want to visit other countries where that isn't the case.


_________________
musingsramblingsandmore.blogspot.com