Do you want to have children?

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My situation is very similar however if my life stabilises I would think about having children. This is kinda depressing for me because I really like children and I like working with them.

I honestly don't think I would be able to handle a child. It would be too much for me to care for, along with my own problems.

I never wanted any until I had them. I got pregnant because that was what you do after you are married. DH wanted kids and I liked the idea of having a family and "being a grownup" and all that, so I was game to try it. I was completely ambivilant during my pregnancy, but I took care of myself so that the baby would be healthy of course. I didn't feel a thing either way about the baby until I saw him right after he was born. Then I fell in love so deep that I couldn't have imagined it before. It was the same way with my other three.

Of course it's not like that for everybody who doesn't want kids.

Do I bollocks! I'm not stupid.

I would like to have children, but I want to adopt them. I would prefer a boy with special needs or a group of siblings. But I don't want to adopt them when they are a baby, probably the age range of 3-14 would be best.

I already love children, hence why I want to be a teacher.

Other: I have children.

Quite a few people have said that when their life is stable they might consider it. Having children forces you to stabilise your life and overcome some of your fears and issues.

My boy is the only person in my life I can truly be affectionate with. He is exhibiting some mild traits (hands over ears loud noises, extreme shyness even with people he knows, some special interests emerging) on the the plus side he is very affectionate and quite a character.

Jason.

I don't want kids ever. They are just too annoying and too much trouble to take care of.

I was one that wasn't like that. When I was a teenager I had a baby and gave it up for adoption. People told me I'd feel differently but when it was born I felt nothing. I just don't like human babies.

I already have kids. One. Everything about him was exciting and my motherly instincts kicked in so I was always holding him and always wanting to check up on him and keep him safe. Then it always felt weird when I didn't have him with me. Only thing I didn't like was the diaper blow outs and him spitting and puking every now and then, peeing when I change him, but luckily none of it was often except for the spit ups. I also didn't like how he scratch at me and kick me and pinch me. I sometimes forget how little he was until I see an infant. I sometimes look at old photos of him when he was younger and I see how much he has changed. He also ruined few of my things and his own and I hated chasing after him so I started to put up baby gates and doing crazy baby proofing. As he got older, I held him less because I wanted him to have tummy time and learn to crawl and roll over and pull himself up and he did all those things. Then when he started to walk, I make him walk when I go short distance. He doesn't mind walking. Easier than carrying him.

Knowing what not to do is a good starting point and an advantage in my opinion. If you look around you'll see a lot of examples how to parent so that you can make your choices, and you can always just listen to your heart.

When i were younger, i didn't want to have children. But when i were 33 my wife, and i, descided to go on. And now we have 3 of them.

But. Had i known that i'm AS i think it would have been a completely other situation! - Was dx'd age 43.

I don't think it makes any differece.

I'm open to the idea, but I would also be fine with not having children. The reasons not to have them are that I could easily pass on autism, depression from my mom's side, bipolar from my dad's side, and since both my fiancee and I have diabetes running in both families, that's another risk. He also has aspie traits, so that increases the chances of having a child on the spectrum. As I just got laid off recently and he wants a better job as well, we're not in any rush to get married as both of us want jobs that will support us. Obviously, having a child would be a bad idea since we couldn't afford one at this time.

You see that's the thing I find strange (I mean, other than the whole listen to your heart thing), my first instinct when I hear a child upset, or a child is talking to me or interacting with me etc. etc. is to do as my parents did and either ignore them, or tell them to shut up. I have real trouble seeing them as real, legitimate people in their own right. From my own experiences, child just exist to give their parents life some kind of purpose, and to entertain and love them.

I had a very intense discussion with a youth worker at a group that I went to, a childless youth worker might I add, where he insisted that I would change my mind, and that I would want kids, etc. etc.

I don't know why people insist that you must like and want children. I'm happy with my partner and our cat.

Though I'm a staunch Pro-Lifer, I wouldn't want to have children due to my Gender Issues.

Would be a little late by then. Remember...the older you are when you have a child, the more likely the chances of it having health problems.

I knew when I was 14 that I didn't want children. I never felt particularly motherly to children, and they seemed more noise and mess than joy and satisfaction. And the idea of being physically pregnant disgusted me. I kept being told "Oh, you'll change your mind." 38 years later -- almost too late, as I'm nearing menopause -- nothing has changed. I don't want children any more now than I did then.

What got me was how I was treated for my decision. People questioned my motives, accused me of being selfish and looking down on them because they wanted children, debated me on the pros and cons, and just outright villified me. My mother, who supported my decision, did ask me "What if you regret not having children when you get old?" I told her that I would rather regret it then than resent them now. I didn't have to worry about making Mom a grandmother. She wasn't that keen on the idea to begin with, and my brother took care of it anyway -- he has four kids.

And now....it turns out that I made the right decision.
1) My employment and financial situation has been such a series of ups and downs that I would have been a total wreck if I would have had someone to worry about besides myself.
2) I have learned of serious physical (rheumatoid arthritis) and mental illness (bi-polarity, schizophrenia, split personality, alcoholism, not to mention this new Aspie thing I've discovered) on both sides of my family that could have easily been passed to a child -- things I didn't know of during my early childbearing years.
3) I've done a bit of traveling and have had a lot of fun in my life that I likely couldn't have experienced had I had children.

I'm not saying that having children is wrong...it was just wrong for me.