In general, how do Aspies turn out as adults?

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How do we end up living?
Sad, lonely life 32%  32%  [ 42 ]
Alone and happy 30%  30%  [ 39 ]
Normal, like every one else 20%  20%  [ 26 ]
Sucessful, maybe rich 10%  10%  [ 13 ]
Taken care of our entire lives 8%  8%  [ 10 ]
Total votes : 130

aspi-rant
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14 Aug 2012, 1:53 pm

50 yo:

all of the options in the poll… in no particular order.



TheSunAlsoRises
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14 Aug 2012, 2:59 pm

Kaelynn wrote:
Do most of us grow up to live alone and have sad lives? Do we live with our parents until they die? Do we follow our obessions and make lots of money? What normally becomes of Aspie adults?


Autists, like Non-Autists, have all the outcomes you listed above and then some. The difference would be a major shift and disjointedness in the Gaussian distribution curve marking those outcomes.

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WillMcC
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14 Aug 2012, 4:37 pm

I am fairly integrated into society - I hold a steady job and an education, know how to take care of myself, and can interact with others without any difficulty.
I do live by myself, but it's quite lonely. Maybe "she" will come someday, but until then, it's "forever alone"


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14 Aug 2012, 4:49 pm

I'm generally sad and alone. I have a good job but few friends and no romantic relationships at all. I suppose I could make it an ambition over the next few years but I'm not optimistic...



peterd
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14 Aug 2012, 6:37 pm

I turned 60 yesterday, and my life is alone in that peculiarly aspie sense of us each inhabiting a one person universe but not alone on account of my partner who - unreasonably perhaps - appears to care about me.

Sad or happy, I've come to believe is a matter of choice. Advice, perhaps chemical assistance of some sort, but at heart it's a choice. Being part of the world out there is something I'd like to get to, but I can't see how it works. I've lived in the damn thing for half a century and I still can't see how it works. The magic of - wait, it's Social Communication Disorder now isn't it? If we miss the autism net, we're condemned to a half life of people trying to train us to be socially communicative.



Ganondox
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14 Aug 2012, 6:48 pm

Dillogic wrote:
There's actually heaps of outcome studies done for AS and HFA (I've read dozens of them).

They pretty much say the same thing:

-majority don't work as adults ("majority" = anything over 50% in this case); those that do are usually well below their intellectual functioning in regards to the job
-most live at home with parents or in government housing
-most have few or no friends

So, that's [for the glass is half full types]:

-some work as adults
-some live by themselves
-some have friends and/or a partner


As I said before the diagnosis is too recent for the prognosis suggested by the studies to be accurate, the main thing is stuff is getting better over time.


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Dillogic
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14 Aug 2012, 7:11 pm

The studies involved adults. Most were of individuals in their twenties (can't see much changing when a person is 30 or 40 in comparison to 25), but not all.

No treatment is going to change anything.



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14 Aug 2012, 10:04 pm

Dillogic wrote:
The studies involved adults. Most were of individuals in their twenties (can't see much changing when a person is 30 or 40 in comparison to 25), but not all.

No treatment is going to change anything.


That's exactly were the problem comes. The thing is that when aspies become independent it's usually later than NTs, so 20 vs 30 makes all the difference. Also, support definately does make a difference, and with the later generations there is more support. In the very least I'm trying to be optimistic.


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DrPenguin
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14 Aug 2012, 10:45 pm

34 and got to say the top 4. I've been Sad and lonely, alone and happy, normal (as normal as I get) and relatively successful but not rich. At the moment I'm a mix of the first 2 as I need the normality of a science lab to function normally. Although I'm 'lonely' as I've been single for several years but don't get lonely as I'm living isolated from my friends/family (moved to a new place for work, AS traits messed it up).


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Northeastern292
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14 Aug 2012, 11:12 pm

Maybe it's just me, but everyone's case is different.



Verdandi
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14 Aug 2012, 11:24 pm

Ganondox wrote:
Dillogic wrote:
The studies involved adults. Most were of individuals in their twenties (can't see much changing when a person is 30 or 40 in comparison to 25), but not all.

No treatment is going to change anything.


That's exactly were the problem comes. The thing is that when aspies become independent it's usually later than NTs, so 20 vs 30 makes all the difference. Also, support definately does make a difference, and with the later generations there is more support. In the very least I'm trying to be optimistic.


Need to be careful that optimistic doesn't shade over into wishful thinking, which is what most such arguments seem to be.



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14 Aug 2012, 11:39 pm

I think we're headed toward a world of hurt considering the world economy is near collapse and the 'leaders' are too busy arguing and bleeding the citizenry dry to do anything about it. The 1st people that are hurt when the belts tighten are the ones with no political power. That would include most of the people on this forum. Expect cuts to our already almost non existent services and expect more competition for jobs we have a hard time competing for already. Going to get worse before it gets better. But I'm optimistic...



Dillogic
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15 Aug 2012, 12:41 am

Ganondox wrote:
That's exactly were the problem comes. The thing is that when aspies become independent it's usually later than NTs, so 20 vs 30 makes all the difference. Also, support definately does make a difference, and with the later generations there is more support. In the very least I'm trying to be optimistic.


Eh, I don't see the "bad" outcomes as actually "bad" unless you want those things that normal people do. I would bet that individuals with an ASD are relatively happy with these circumstances if they're free to pursue their interests--problems happen when these individuals want what normal people want, of course, and there's plenty out there who want such (they're unlucky), but then, that's what a disability is.

I agree in that there might be a difference in functioning between 20 and 30, but I also agree that people with an ASD can actually become worst as they get older (some get a little better, some get a little worst).

However, I think that needing support to get somewhere isn't really of much worth; it has nothing to do with the actual disorder, rather how much people do for you. If someone buys a person with AS a house and gives them a job (with all the allowances needed), then they're automatically functioning "well". Too bad if this wasn't given to them then they're "bad".



CyclopsSummers
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15 Aug 2012, 1:35 am

Rascal77s wrote:
I think we're headed toward a world of hurt considering the world economy is near collapse and the 'leaders' are too busy arguing and bleeding the citizenry dry to do anything about it. The 1st people that are hurt when the belts tighten are the ones with no political power. That would include most of the people on this forum. Expect cuts to our already almost non existent services and expect more competition for jobs we have a hard time competing for already. Going to get worse before it gets better. But I'm optimistic...


You and I have very different definitions of the word 'optimism'.


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kahlua
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15 Aug 2012, 4:27 am

From the outside looking in, I have the perfect life. Successful career, loving relationship, money, cars, houses etc. probably seen as very shy, introverted and a bit weird.

Behind the scenes - severe anxiety, shutdowns, isolation, fatigue from faking it/dealing with people, no friends, distanced from family (various reasons, my choice), Hate leaving the house and going anywhere - dealing with daily life stuff is very very hard. Often I'm unhappy and keep chasing the next thing that will make me happy.

In short ive found apparent success but at what price.



Skeptical_Mario
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15 Aug 2012, 12:08 pm

I certainly seem normal to outsiders too--I have a spouse, child, career, and job--but it's definitely not normal. I struggle to engage in any social situations and my wife does most of the 'heavy lifting' interacting with others. She pushes me to retain my friendships and make new ones and to try things that are outside my comfort zone. I honestly don't know what my life would be like without her, but I'm sure it would be a lot worse. So I'm torn between options 3 and 5.