Something should be done about screaming kids in public!

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No one likes to hear kids screaming. Evolution has seen fit to refine the voice of a screaming child into something between a jet engine and nails on a chalk board. That being said, fits are part of growing up and even a well parented child with have them. When using public spaces children are something that will be encountered, it is necessary for their socialization.

I agree with others who have said that it's normal for little kids to scream and throw fits in public places....and if you think about it, little kids will sometimes have fits for sort of the same reasons some people have meltdowns: they're hungry, overwhelmed, tired, overstimulated, etc. Whacking the kids is certainly not okay, either.

But having grown up with two younger half- sisters, I do sympathize with how annoying the whining and screaming can get. Why not try bringing your Ipod/MP3 player out with you, and discreetly turn it on when you encounter screaming kids? Questor has some good suggestions, too.

I totally love #4!

Yes, all parents should stay locked up in the house for years because their children might scream. At the very least, they should be unable to finish running errands, etc.

Also love the way people say "they should be smacked" or that the parent should "do something". Obviously those people don't have kids. Usually the only thing that would instantly silence the kid is giving in, which is exactly what leads to more screaming in the long run.

I'm really starting to hate this board and the people on it, along with the rest of humanity.

Well, what I was saying is that nobody wants to hear a screeching child. In certain areas I have a bit more sympathy and depending on how the parents takes care of the situation I sometimes sympathize as well. I don't get the New Age type of parenting where the parent lets the child scream and do whatever they like. I can also tolerate it more in places like McDonalds or a food court. There are other places that aren't acceptable at all to have a screaming child throwing a fit and if they are I expect the parent to do something about it that works for the child to settle down.

I work with children and there's absolutely no reason why a parent shouldn't be able to remove the child in a certain situation and try to solve the problem, even without spanking them. Granted there are a few exceptions such as waiting in a grocery line or someplace you really can't get out of without causing a scene when you're alone, so I do sympathize with parents a bit. What I get more miffed about is some of the parenting techniques that people have come up with over the years, just giving in to everything their child wants just because they don't know how to handle it. If you have a problem, seek out resources and help don't just give your child what they want for the rest of their lives.

This board reminds me of the book and mini-series "The Slap".

When a kid is screaming in the a public place because they want something/want to leave, and the parent needs to get something done and does not leave or give in, the kid continues to scream and people like you assume the parent is spoiling the child. What it means, though, is the kid is less likely to scream next time, because he didn't get his way by doing it this time.

Hitting a child does not stop them from screaming, and a parent hitting a child is not going to meet with public approval either (they will probably get CPS called on them). Think about what you're saying. You want parents to be tougher on kids? When the kid is screaming, it's because the parent is being tough. Parents don't like listening to screaming either.

I believe a gentle 'smack' that doesn't leave a mark or injure the child is okay when a child is acting like a spoilt brat, throwing a temper tantrum over a toy or some sweets they can't have. Not with meltdowns, because that can't be helped. But yes with tantrums, because it's to get attention.

But I do agree with you. I see punishments like whacking a child, verbally abusing the child, and strangling the child like Homer does with Bart, as forms of child abuse.

See I don't agree with that. There are certain situations where it's fine to ignore a child when they're throwing a tantrum such as your own home but when you're in public you can get the child to stop screaming by taking him/her to the washroom or outside and talk about why what they're doing is wrong. Then when you get home you can have a time-out for them, possibly take away their privileges. If you give in to the child who wants something and let them get away with it, they'll do it again, again and again because they don't have any consequences. I know what you're thinking, don't pay attention to the screaming child, ignore it or else it gives in to their wishes but in a public place I don't agree with that, that's when positive guidance should come into place. If you just let them scream and buy them everything, they sure as heck will scream the next time you're there because you gave in and/or didn't do anything about it to reinfoce their behaviour.

I didn't suggest anything about hitting a child. I don't believe in hitting children. I work with children and I would never hit a child. I did however say that when my brother and I were young we sometimes got a spank on the bum in the washroom and we behaved after that. I personally don't have anything against parent spanking their own children, if it's just one slap on the bum. I don't encourage it nor do I disagree with it. There are better guidance techniques to use but one slap on the bum isn't going to traumatize a child for life and it doesn't mean that they're automatically going to assume that it's okay to hit other children if you teach them properly.

When a kid is screaming it's because a parent is being tough? So if a child wants a chocolate bar and the parents says no that makes the parent tough? Should the parent give in to every whim and wish the child wants? That's permissive parenting.

Positive guidance and reinforcement isn't being tough on a child, it's being authoritative and assertive which will get children to respect you more and also learn good manners.

As awful as it is, did you consider that they may have been autistic and having meltdowns? Or maybe ADHD or another 'invisible' condition. Autistics have meltdows when things are beyond their control and they can't cope, this is frequently the same reason even 'normal' children have tantrums. They may be forced into situations they don't want to be in or have rubbish parents who don't discipline them correctly (or at all) but that's the parent's fault not the child. I do sympathise with the effect of the screaming on our ears, it can be horrendous but it may be easier for you to remove yourself from the sensory overload than it would be for the family of the screaming child to remove themselves.

As I said, it is not always possible to leave. Parents need to get things done too.


Where do you think I'm advocating "giving in"? I'm saying the opposite. Of course you shouldn't give in. Pressure from strangers like you is often the reason parents do give in, though.



Where did I say you should buy them anything? As for "letting them scream", there should be consequences for misbehavior, but that doesn't mean the kid is instantly going to stop screaming or that the parent will immediately leave as you wish they would.



I think you're completely misinterpreting what I'm saying. I think the parent should be tough - in this case, not get the chocolate bar - but I recognize that, in the short term, that will mean the child will throw a tantrum. I used to work with children too, and I also have four of my own. They all went through a short phase of misbehaving in public, and it was a short phase because I did not give in to it. This meant I had to endure not only the tantrum but the dirty looks and comments from other people in order to get my errands done - other people who, ironically, thought I was being permissive. It's because I was not permissive - because I ignored the tantrum and did not reward it - that I didn't have to do this more than once or twice with each child.



Again, you seem to think I meant "tough" was a bad thing. I didn't.

I know how you feel! In the newspaper it said something about a bus-driver not letting old people on the bus with their push-along trolleys because they take up too much room, but they never say anything to mothers who bring on gigantic buggys on that take up the whole room, can cause a hazard, and usually contains a screaming child what everybody's got to endure. Give me a little old lady with her trolley any day.

I know people can't help having unruly kids that rule the place, and I know we were all toddlers once, being carted around shopping centres and probably misbehaving, but that still doesn't stop me from resenting the noise of them. People just gaze at them and go, ''oh, it's only a baby, that's what they do'', but when a dog is barking and/or growling, I don't see many people gazing at them and doing, ''oh, it's only a dog, that's what they do.'' Instead they yell at the dog to stop, especially if it's the neighbours dog that won't stop.

I think there should be creche places where small kids under 4 can be taken care of while the mother is shopping. That would save on a lot of noise and room.

I couldn't agree more.

Again, I misread that part but toughing out a child's tantrum in public. The issue is you're still having the public listen to your child when they shouldn't have to. It's one thing to be toughing it out at home, it's another thing to be doing it in public. I can sympathize in some situations but in others I don't see any excuse for it.

There should be and there are but not as nearly enough as there should be out there. I know the Ikea by my house has a play place for children while the parents shop and drop-in daycare centres are becoming more and more popular around here but there are still not enough.

I find it hard to believe that most child have these conditions.

It's not always easy to remove yourself from the situation. Unless I go into town really early, there's nearly always a screaming kid. And it's even worse when it's early and it's during term time.

I don't like it when my kid scream so I try and do everything I can to keep him from screaming. That is something all parents should be doing. Hitting them won't do them any good because then they would just cry for getting hit and it would draw even more attention and also make the parent look bad, but they look bad nonetheless with their screaming child. Luckily he doesn't scream all that often and he only does it when bored or tired so that means time to leave. But sometimes I wonder if that is just going to teach him to do it whenever he wants to leave. I know that is an excuse or reason some parents use for their screaming kids to not remove them from the place.

Yeah, that's why when I'm in a situation like that when I do leave I get down to the child's level and talk to them to redirect their behaviour. "I don't like it when you run away from mummy and scream, it hurts my ears and everyone else and I get worried about you because I don't know where you are. That makes mummy very sad. When we get home you will go to time-out and think about what you've done." When they're showing good behaviour in public places I make sure I use positive reinforcement like "Good job! I like how you're standing beside mummy and using your listening ears and walking feet, that makes mummy very happy."

Of course it also depends on the child's age, if the child is an infant then obviously they wont be able to understand this but infants usually don't have that high pitched screeching tone that toddlers have and obviously they can't help it. Then again, I wouldn't bring an infant to a fancy restaurant or a cinema.