Meltdowns

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I just got that metaphor. It is easier to think of a nuclear meltdown

If you are right I can much more relate to this topic. But Jtuk seems like he has searched something up thoroughly, so I guess it is correct that this is not necessarily that common. "If so, there are other reasons".

I wote something good here, and I wonder if anyone can relate:-

Well, my sort of angry outbursts aren't the sort where someone has to come along and hold me back or put a helmit over my head. I yell and scream and argue, I go extremely verbal, and I slap my head for a reason: I WANT to hurt my head. I want a headache afterwards, so I can feel like I have punished my brain for being wired this unwanted way. I don't slap my head to stim or calm myself down. I do it the same reason why people with manic behavioural depression do it: they hate themselves for the way they are or for what's going on in their lives. So putting on a helmit won't be any good, I'll just throw the helmit off and probably hit my head using the helmit. And if somebody holds the helmit down, I'd just yell, ''get off!'', and if somebody held me down I'll just yell, ''don't hit me!'' or just argue at them, in the hope that they'll argue back and sort the situation out, rather than leaving me to it. Giving me a cuddle helps an awful lot, and strong reassurance also helps. I am too aware and ''mature'' to have these ''tips to stop an Aspie tantrum, example hold the Aspie down by both his/her arms....'' to work on me. I don't want to be treated like a pet.

My mum is not very good to argue at. The more I argue and the more people argue back, the more the anger comes out. The more people yell, ''sssssssssshut up!! !! !! !! !! !'' in mid-sentence, that just gets me angrier, and I scream, ''let me finish!! !! !! !'', or if they're not answering, I yell, ''TALK TO MEEEEEE!! !! !! !! !! !! !'' When I'm having an outburst, I want it to be like how they have arguments in TV soaps like Eastenders (plenty of bickering there), where each one argues their point until one walks out or the problem gets solved after so many thoughts being thrown into the center by each party. But I suppose mine don't work like that, because when two NTs argue, both their arguments have a reasonable point behind it, even though they're not agreeing. But with me, I've probably got something so silly into my head that is something so trivial it isn't even noticed by the NT, and realistically there is no point behind my argument so I'm just being an a***hole. This is probably why I wind up angry with myself and start hitting myself. I'm then proving the point to the other person that I'm an a***hole and deserve to be dead so that they can get on with their normal lives. I know in a lot of arguments NTs can be the a***hole, starting up an argument over something that doesn't need to be argued over, but I'm just ridiculous.

And I never stim when having an outburst. I fold my arms crossly, or lay across a sofa, or just cry and cry and cry. I'm probably the only Aspie in the world who does not stim when angry!

This is probably a stupid question. But can't you use reason? Think why you are reacting that way before you get a meltdown? I know I did this before. I think if it is a cure it must be living completely alone in a desperate situation where no-one can hear you anyway. Like an inhabited island. You're forced to learn. But this won't make you happy..

That may also work ^^

I've been sectioned by the police before when having a meltdown (before I was diagnosed with ASD-albeit unofficially), I was trying to work out whether I needed to jump off a bridge and I was in full meltdown which was why I went to the bridge. My brother said something which made me really anxious and I got really frightened and wanted the scaredness to stop. It was horrible, they shut off the road and sectioned me under the mental health act. They put me in the cage because they thought I'd run away, I just remember feeling so sad and being in the cage, they took me to the psychiatric holding centre where the psychiatrists took the section off. I was so frightened and eventually managed to convince them to keep me in hospital for the next 72 hours where I was repeatedly told off for bad behaviour. it was horrible, they thought I was manipulating them and 'threatening suicide'. Now I understand what it was but at the time I thought I was losing my mind, I was so so scared. I've had to be restraind by my dad before too. It's so frightening and I dn't understand why I do it to that degree, I embarrass myself really badly and everyone about me. It happens in public places and infront of people I don't know.
I don't get why it happens, I'm always really embarrassed afterwards. I am intelligent and shy person, I'm not someone who enjoys attention, so why do I do it?

I can relate to some of the things you are saying. So I may know some of the frustration you've had. But that seems so dramatical, I've never been in that kind of stress before, I would never let myself be in that situation either. Meltdowns don't seem to be OK at all..

How are the people around you coping with your ASD? Are they not trying to make life as stressless and predictable for you as possible? Are they helping you? Does the situation where you live, with culture and everything, have a negative impact on your life with ASD? The first things I said is supposed to be the so constructive for a person with Aspergers, according to what academics say in my country. And I've gotten a much better life after my parents started doing this in the home. I don't go around with a mind all filled up and with tension crippling me.

It was before I was (unofficially) diagnosed as being on the Autism Spectrum, everyone just thought I was really badly behaved so I was told off and then ignored/ punished which when it's anxiety and/or sensory related doesn't help in the slightest. Since my parents have begun to be taught by my therapist what meltdowns are and how to help me things have been a million miles better. The people who deal with me on a frequent basis now know it's ASD and they deal with me differently, I now know what it is as well which helps hugely. However, it's only at 24 I've had it explained why it is, what it is and that it doesn't make me a horrible person. It's been 24 years of being told I am being a drama queen and that I am attention seeking so it's going to take quite a long time for me to heal those scars to be honest. My mum and dad said that if they'd off known what it was they would have been able to deal with it and help me where as they were just told by the professionals that I was choosing to be badly behaved and that I was personality disordered and trying to control my family.
Now we know what we are dealing with they help me calm down and they are helping me to learnt to calm myself down, I'm also being taught to see it coming so I can help to avoid it happening. It's just very early in the process, I've only had it unofficially diagnosed by my team for about 6 months.

Change what you said to a 22-year-old male and I'm in the exact same situation.

Are your meltdowns now gone?

No, they increased as I went through my teenage years and for the last 5 years they've been pretty frequent. As I'm learning more about ASD I am generally more stable though. The big problem is where I live is very unsuitable and my general life has not been conducive to AS stability because we didn't understand what we were dealing with until 6 months ago. A lot of the advice we were given and acted upon was compleatly wrong for someone with ASD and sure enough, I reacted very very badly.