Afraid to die.

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I always feel exactly how you feel. Probably because I'm such a deep thinker. I've been thinking about death a lot lately and it's a terrifying thought when you're not religious. Sometimes I wish I was raised religiously just so I had something to believe in and wouldn't be as scared of dying. For me it's the concept of never ever being able to think again, for ever and ever and ever. It's a terrible feeling because it's for eternities and it'll never stop, you'll be gone. It almost doesn't make sense. Just writing this is making me think about it more and freak out about it even more.

If you think about it though, even through a scientific perspective; life is actually amazing. It's amazing how we're here and how far this world has evolved. You have to admit there's something magical about us being here and everything in this world. I mean, what started space? It's hard to wrap your head around. I guess anything is possible.

MiLK, I can't say I've felt like this myself, but I'll offer a few thoughts anyway - maybe one of them will help you.

First of all, if you're seriously depressed (not just exploring philosophical questions) then, please, seek professional help.

Second, look up Near Death Experiences. What you read might make you feel better about death. It falls short of being scientific evidence for life after death, but I'd say it makes it at least plausible. It's not some religious dogma that you have to accept on faith (though some religious people have added a bit of that on top ). I am not religious and do my utmost to think as scientifically as possible. Having read what I've read so far, I consider that, on the balance of probabilities, it's most likely that consciousness continues after death. Another way you may wish to look at it is: even if Near Death Experiences are not "real" in the objective sense, they certainly feel very real to the people who have them. So at the very least they suggest that you will probably feel really good when you're dying, even if you are just hallucinating it all.

Thirdly, even if you take the completely materialist view that when you die consciousness ceases forever there is still nothing to be afraid of, because you will not experience being dead. You simply won't exist to experience that - or anything else. So you being dead is something that will never happen, as far as you're concerned! Personally, I find that liberating thought. As Misery pointed out, there was a time before when you didn't exist. That wasn't a problem for you then, was it? Why would it be a problem the next time that you don't exist?

If you could exist once you can exist again.

Also I don't want to be a ghost. I know everybody says ''oh I'd love to haunt!'' but it's not as simple and funny as that. I don't want to be a ghost. I know some people say they don't believe in ghosts, but I have heard so many things, like ghosts caught on camera, that don't have any other explanation. And why are most people afraid to walk through abandoned buildings or graveyards on their own, if they don't believe in any supernatural things?

Although I can safely say I've never seen a ghost, but I still believe in them. And another reason why I'm afraid to be a ghost is because of my aura. You all know I get weird looks in public, even when I'm not doing anything noticeably unusual or wearing anything that makes me look daft, and I even get people giving me blank stares, as though they're drawn to my face without knowing why they're looking at me. I am really, really scared now, and I think it's to do with some sort of eerie aura I have surrounding me that draws the human eye to me for no reason in particular, and now I am afraid to die because if people are doing strange things near me when I'm alive, then what the hell is going to happen when I'm dead? If I've got this surreal aura, then will my ghost be the colour of this aura? Will I be so visible as a ghost? Will my spirit be so surreal that it makes people do strange things near me, like looking my way without knowing why, then find they are looking at nothing?

I'm so scared to die......

Oh I hadn't thought about it, that an aspie ghost would be more frightening than an NT one... Would love to come back to haunt them all!

Indeed, I never looked weird on the outside, that's why all the high expectations and demands from people for me to behave normal.