Empathy

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I'm not sympathetic that much (unless I actually give a crap about the person) but I am able to feel empathy for anyone even if I don't like them PROVIDED that I experienced something close to or exactly the same as what they are going through.

Empathy is not about thinking. It is about feeling -- feeling for other people's pain/plight and then acting/reacting on that feeling. So it is other-centered, other-directed -- not self-centered.

Here is an example of empathy from my own life:

After Mom had her stroke, at the ER Dad said, "Who will take care of me now?"

[Sarcastic lol here]

My instant reaction was to bend down and plant a kiss on his forehead.

I did not love my father. In fact I hated his guts. And I'd never kissed him before either. But I didn't react to his selfish thought. I reacted to his uttered pain and gave him what little human touch I could muster at the time.

So you're saying you didn't go through any thought process first?

eg. when I saw the tsunami, once the 'Cool destruction pictures!' stage had passed I thought 'they probably need some help' and donated money. Hence I showed empathy by donating money. If I concentrated I could feel sad for the people caught up in it, but how would that help? An unthinking reaction would also have been pointless in that situation.

I posted a very similar thread just a few days ago

What struck me in the responses here, is how some people react to characters on tellie and in books. Personally, I cannot watch overdramatized movies, and frequently switch off when something bad is going to happen to a character I love. I also physically hurt when watching 'Mr Bean' (my 8 year old son makes me, alas) - he is just so incredibly rude and self-centered and I'm always wondering how the people he's cheating on are affected. The way he keeps running over that one, blue, three-weeled car ... I even have trouble watching Woody Woodpecker and things like Tom and Jerry, because they're always hitting each other with giant hammers or crashing into doors... and makes me cringe!

Gosh, this is all so very silly, and really, it restricts the number of movies and programs I'm able to watch in ways that I resent. Oh well.

Wow this is getting complicated, especially in what terminology is used and what it means to themselves and others.
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We were all feeling pretty low and shocked at Mom's sudden stroke when he said what he said. Probably was surprised to hear him only talk of himself. I could have gotten disgusted, considering his history. Still I try not to judge people and at that moment heard only his pain.

I feel like I have higher levels of empathy than most NT's, however I feel I have a strong intellectual empathy, and my deficit is in instinctual empathy. Like, I might see someone get hurt and laugh, or someone might tell me their father just died and I know I should feel sad and want to hug them, but I don't. In my mind, I feel bad because I can think about it and know they are in physical or emotional pain, but there is no emotion. But, I think I feel more empathy for the homeless, for example, than most people. Most people pass them by, laugh at them, even spit on them, but I know life is hard for them and many of them are chronically homeless due to untreated mental illness, so I worry very much over their well being.

And, yes, OP, I wish I had the social skills to act on my empathy more, because so often people don't.

I have fully functioning logical empathy/sympathy(there doesn't seem to be one generally agreed upon distinction between the two) but my emotional feel-alike empathy has been very dulled in recent years compared to when I was a child. Not sure if that's just part of growing up, or if it's the result of depression, anger, and isolation.a

I consider myself a compassionate person overall, but I can't say for sure that I would feel particularly sad if my friend's dad died, or something.