Dealing with those who don't believe you have AS

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Arguing with them will only amaze you at how ignorant they are and how much in denial they can be. You can't win an argument with someone who is ignorant or in denial. The reason being is they do not argue to discover truth, but argue to prove themselves right in order to maintain whatever facade defines their ego. In this regard, ignorance and denial will always yield the results they desire. Ever notice how even when proven wrong they don't like to apologize? Arrogance, egotism, self-reverence, all the results of monotheistic ideologies.

I find that some people think they're reassuring you when they say that.

"Oh, don't worry, you don't have Asperger's. I mean, you can tell, you know? I work with kids, and believe me, it's obvious. You don't have Asperger's."

ARGH.

It's like saying, "Oh honey, don't worry! You're not incompetent."

There is simply a lack of understanding about ASDs. I can't wait 'til I can afford an official diagnosis, so I can start changing peoples' misconceptions.

If people don't believe me, then I would probably hate them. I have an official diagnosis, so if they don't believe me, then they are not friend worthy - or even talking to worthy.

I have this problem, too. I rarely tell people about my Asperger's unless I know them on a very personal level, and maybe that fuels the problem, but when I do their response is usually along the vein of "I don't think you have it". One of my friends even said I should get a second opinion.

I don't need a second opinion. Even if I DIDN'T have a diagnosis (which I do), I know what it's like in my own head. I know I compulsively interrupt people without realizing it. I know I get annoyed by small talk, talk extensively about things that some people find uninteresting, and avoid peoples eyes in my conversations. I know that I'm unwittingly obsessed with a small number of things. I don't think ANYBODY would have doubted I had Asperger's had they met me in middle school.

In other words, even if my closest and most personal friends doubt it, I don't. But I try not to let it bother me. If they haven't noticed the things that make me neurologically atypical, it's not a big deal. It just means they're ignorant of the problem. Not that I'm trying to rid myself of my condition, but if people haven't noticed I have it, it must mean they haven't been put off by it. I hate that the automatic reaction is refusal, instead of an attempt at understanding, but even though it annoys me, I consider it a sign of coping for me.

Try to take it in stride. These people don't have the same unique perspective as you, and that's their loss.

My philosophy professor announced in front of the entire class that I don't have Aspergers. It was really upsetting. His evidence was hat I could pass some dumb test of being able to tell a drawing of a duck from one of a rabbit. I looked it up and what he's talking about pertains to straight up autism, not high functioning Asperger's. It really shook me up though and was super embarrassing. I know my identity, I know who I am, and I don't need some professor smarty pants questioning it.

Question, when people say you are not like the ones who they know have AS, is that implying they don't think you have it?


There is no way of knowing someone has when you have only seen them for a few minutes. I can go to my autism group and see all these normal people but I know they have it because it's an autism group. I doubt people can tell I have it if they see me looking around at Gamestop or waiting to catch the train. But I bet if they were with me all the time, then they would see me act different and if they saw me all the time like at work or if I was in school. But at work I don't think anyone can tell. I have never had any professional tell me I didn't have AS or a teacher.

On a few occasions that I broached this subject and had the response of Don't be silly, you are not autistic, I believe people were simply not well informed about the spectrum. Also, what annoys me is that those same people don't actually know me but instead behave as if whatever their story about me in their head is like is actually true when it isn't at all. They demonstrably don't listen to me and can be easily picked from the crowd by a telltale habit of saying Oh, You will love (insert something they like) which I actually hate or at least don't care for, but they don't have a clue because they are incapable of registering anything that doesn't conform with their world view.

It's like socialising with a tremendously emotional wall.