are nt men nicer than nt women

Post Reply New Topic

This.
Fact is some NT's men mean and some are nice. Same with some women. I do get along with a person more if i have something in common with them.

Its not about nicer. Its about many things

To just say it with a few words only, how I see things

Women are more tolerant in general but very selfish when it comes to their own needs.
They follow rules very strictly.

Men are less tolerant but they dont care so much about rules and are easier to satisfy.


Quite much more important is, however, whether people use their brains or not.
Intellectualists are dying out.

Machine men and women will hate aspies, which will still continue to make remarks about logically stupid things...

I dont want to be a machine or part of it
which is a difficult thing for many NT women to not follow the rules.

Well and then there are my favorite guys that are always perfectly doing things how they are supposed to be done.
And they'll immediately judge you, although they are themselves as superficial as can be...

Do I even have to explain individuality?

Definitely true for me. But yesterday proved to me that I don't understand my NT husband that well despite him always trying to understand me. I thought he would be prejudiced against a friend of mine because he's always making inappropriate jokes about gays. He also makes inappropriate jokes about Jews a lot, and one time that he came with me to another friend's house, he said something really offensive about Jews, and it turned out that she was Jewish. Then, to make matters worse, he joked that she didn't "look" Jewish, and when she asked what that meant, he told her she didn't have a big nose... ugh. So, I did not help a friend who needed my help because I was afraid he wouldn't accept her. Turns out he would have, but by the time I knew that, it was too late... how do you know when "there's a lot of truth in jest" and when that is not the case?

I've found I've had more bad experiences with women in public than I ever have men. Like I've had more women (young or old) laughing at me, whispering about me, staring at me, et cetera. But I've never had these kinds of bad experiences from men. If a man thinks I'm nice-looking, they will give me a stare that is comfortable, and a smile. If I just look ordinary to them, they just glance at me (which is natural in humans) then move on. But if I'm more attractive than a woman, she will glare because she's jealous (or that's what I'm told). If I'm less attractive than a woman, she'll still glare at me critically. If I'm similar to a woman's appearance, she will still glare for some other reason. These situations occur more with women in their 60s than any other age group (yes, even teenage girls!)

I might be wrong, I might be more paranoid than I should be and just imagining most of this behaviour with women, but it seems I feel more uncomfortable around women than men, and feel that women are more likely to judge me more.

It seems men learn to be a bit more tolerant, and they know that not everyone like the same things, and that you can't please everyone. I learnt that a long time ago too, and so have a lot of women that I know, probably because they have a nice way about them. Otherwise, generally, it seems women are more bitchy than men.

Maybe not so much nicer as just simpler (socially) and easier to understand. I can usually figure out what is motivating a guy, whether it's possible to get him to like me and how, whether he's a friend or an enemy. With women, I never know if they're genuine friends or going to stab me in the back until it's too late. Nt women also seem to look down on a lack of social skills more - it seems less important to nt guys. Maybe it's just that more guys are aspie/bappy.
That doesn't explain what you asked about with nt women not finding boyfriends. I don't know, because I really haven't seen that happening. When I've seen nt women saying they can't get a boyfriend they were trying to get guys who weren't interested/were jerks/didn't like commitment while ignoring the "nice guys". Why they would do that, I have no idea. Sometimes it actually seems like I can read nt men better than nt women can, though that doesn't make sense. Maybe they could read them but choose to ignore what they know?

Men generally are more likely to be systematic, logical thinkers, hence aspie females are going to have more in common with them from that point of view. Also there's the obvious factor of sex - you don't have to be socially adept if all a man wants from you is sex!

Being a female aspie who is shy and socially on the back foot can be a positive asset with some NT men - it brings out their protective instincts and a lot are relieved to meet a woman who they can really talk to in an honest, down to earth manner about interesting things so there is more of a meeting of minds and a proper friendship can form. With NT men and NT women, they are usually playing to their gender role most of the time and in my opinion this is often a barrier to real communication as it all seems to be about forming a unit to make more money, find somewhere to live and produce children, while trying to increase their social status.

In my opinion though, if I get on well with a man it usually indicates that he's in some way neuro-diverse ie not really NT.

I don't see how women can ever be totally true friends to each other either as from a biological imperative perspective all women are in competition with each other for the men!
How many women's 'best friends' have run off with their boyfriend/husband? Therefore the closest and best bond a woman can have is with a member of the opposite sex in my opinion.

It depends entirely on the individual. I don't like to categorize behavior in general ways such as male, female, Aspie, NT, etc. I find that human reality is full of exceptions to any attempt at categorizing. Each person is unique.

This.

And this.




I find the word nice puzzling but as far as gender is concerned, I really don't see a huge difference. I've experienced bullying by both genders. As for nice, I've encountered tolerant people who were both men and women. Even in terms of gender, women and men in my experience don't fit so neatly into these gender stereotypes. I have to say though, men are easier to read but in terms of nice, I can't say one gender is nicer than the other however I only speak from my own experiences.

I don't think the OP is acting too cool right now.

It depends on the person its self as there are some good men and some bad ones same applies to a lady some good and some bad ones.