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Misinformation about AS

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emimeni
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03 Oct 2012, 4:18 pm

Callista wrote:
"They". Don'tcha love that little word? It's like, not-us. Those children-with-autism who aren't completely human. Because, of course, anybody who ever self-injures, screams, or smears feces cannot possibly be human and cannot possibly have any potential for either a productive or a happy life. Because disability is a tragedy and we can't ever see disabled people as equals; because Those People are not-us and so we must close our eyes to all the things we have in common...

I hate that. I really do. When somebody is non-verbal and/or severely disabled, that's when they need protection the most. People encourage us to leave "Those People" behind and say we're not like them because we're independent, smart, high-functioning, whatever--to ask for acceptance for Us but not Them. We should be questioning that. Instead of dividing into us-and-them, we should all protect each other. Nobody gets left behind and nobody has to validate their existence by being a savant or a performing monkey or the next Stephen Hawking. Who's to say that those of us who can talk and/or take care of ourselves might not get hit on the head or have one of those random-but-rare regressions, and lose one or both of those skills? Would that change our value and our right to be respected? No. So we don't leave anybody behind.


I exaggerated to get my point across, and I guess it worked. My parents think in a very "us vs. them" mentality. I'm in a gray area ("You know, you have it less severely than *other people*"), because I'm their daughter and I think they care for and truly love me, but it's mostly black-and-white.


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Wanderingronin42
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03 Oct 2012, 4:33 pm

I had an ex-girlfriend that had a family like that. I loved her, but her family was scared that I pushing her to go beyond her limits and try new things. Because of my up bringing, I was forced in a good way to challenge my condition and become a better person. I should mention her mother controlled everything she did even when we were dating. Part of the reason, I had to break up with her. Her parents and family were horrified and offended that I did not tell I had it. Honesty, I do not think its any body's business really. From what I could gather they thought I was loser because they thought I was weird. Which is far from the truth, because I had been successful in college and holding friendships. They were very insular and closed minded people, that would not have gotten along with me or my family in the long run.

The sad thing is I loved her. I am over it, because I knew I could never change her. Only she could come to the point to become a real adult. I have moved on with my life, there is a part that wonders how she is doing and hope she is well. I am looking for other women to date, but I guess a part of my heart will belong to her. She taught me the sad tragedy of having AS in some families. Thinking about it still breaks my heart to this day.



emimeni
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03 Oct 2012, 5:05 pm

Wanderingronin42 wrote:
I had an ex-girlfriend that had a family like that. I loved her, but her family was scared that I pushing her to go beyond her limits and try new things. Because of my up bringing, I was forced in a good way to challenge my condition and become a better person. I should mention her mother controlled everything she did even when we were dating. Part of the reason, I had to break up with her. Her parents and family were horrified and offended that I did not tell I had it. Honesty, I do not think its any body's business really. From what I could gather they thought I was loser because they thought I was weird. Which is far from the truth, because I had been successful in college and holding friendships. They were very insular and closed minded people, that would not have gotten along with me or my family in the long run.

The sad thing is I loved her. I am over it, because I knew I could never change her. Only she could come to the point to become a real adult. I have moved on with my life, there is a part that wonders how she is doing and hope she is well. I am looking for other women to date, but I guess a part of my heart will belong to her. She taught me the sad tragedy of having AS in some families. Thinking about it still breaks my heart to this day.


My family did, in a lot of ways, "baby" me. Like, they would give in once they figured out a meltdown trigger. But to some extent, they had no choice--what else were they going to, let me meltdown for hours (or, at minimum, a long time)?

They also insisted on mainstreaming me, but again, in my school district, it was the only choice I had, since I was so intelligent I would've "graduated" prematurely from any special ed class, even though the mainstream teachers resent the complaints they got about me.


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Wanderingronin42
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04 Oct 2012, 10:21 am

I only had meltdowns when I was kid. The way was raised was to embrace change and adapt. It is funny now that I am older because I hate following a daily routine! lol It does bother me if something changes any more, rather I expect it now.