Do we lack accurate role models.

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Yes, that is what disability rights and awareness campaigns are there for--to teach NTs how to accommodate people who do not think like they do. You can't expect them to read our minds; being the majority, they have most of their practice on other NTs, and are generally pretty terrible at it. But when it comes to them approaching us with the sort of attitude that says, "I know you are different; I respect you; I will make an honest effort to start without assumptions and communicate effectively with you," then disability rights/awareness is exactly what we need.

It's similar to living harmoniously with people of another culture: you know they are different, so you take care not to read their actions the way you would those of someone in your own culture. You make sure to keep the lines of communication clear, and to ask them when you are confused. You learn about their culture, and they learn about yours. And--crucially--nobody has to assimilate into anybody else's world. They just have to learn how to connect. This is what we should be working toward with NTs. They are wired to want to connect; that they have a harder time connecting with those who are different is not their fault. We just have to reduce the fear that comes from unfamiliarity, give them an idea of what to expect, and insist on our right to equality so that we are not sequestered away from them. Once those barriers are removed, our social-skills lessons and their desire to connect with others should do the rest.

Paradoxically in this context, wouldn't a role model for autistics be someone who has achieved successes and made accomplishments in their field while struggling and coping with their autism? For example, let's say there's a great paleontologist who's made phenomenal progress in unearthing, identifying, and researching key fossils that put him/her on the map of not only the scientific community, but in the general public as well, and that person confesses to have a form of autism. Wouldn't their life story contain some element of starting out as a child closed off in their own world, not communicating much with the kids and people around them, adhering to strict and seemingly strange routines, and having to slowly come out of that in order to follow their dreams?

I believe that, before we can search for autistic role models, it would be wise to first establish that our defining traits essentially constitute a weakness, and not a strength.

Also, Callista, while I agree with the analogue of cultural differences with the disability rights movement, a difference also stands out: autistics (and people with other disorders) aren't the 'other' in the sense that a cultural, religious, ethnic and so forth difference makes a person an 'other'. And I say this as a brown-skinned boy living in one of the blondest countries of the world, the Netherlands.

We are their children; we are (often) born to 'neurotypical' families. We are their sons, their daughters, grandchildren, their friends, their lover with autism. For society to deny us would be like disowning one's children. There is no autistic country one can run to, no autistic church one can find a save haven in. We are scattered across society, born at the mercy of parents who will either be open to a 'different' child, or closed.

This is kind of like what I am trying to do working with an autism non-profit for educating autistic kids. I am using myself as someone who had the same autistic traits, e.g. lack of communiation, low verbal abilities, being eggstremely rigid, no social interaction, as the autistic kids of today, then how I made gains in each of the areas. At the same time, I and others (all NT) are saying that there is nothing wrong with having those traits that I and the kids were born with, but it is possible to make gains in communication, language, flexibility, social interaction, etc etc etc. And we are not interested in making any autistic children neurotypical through behavioral modification. I tell the parents that the keys to making gains for me were all based in education, e.g. learning about communication in the third person instead of first person, learning language eggsplicitly, gaining in reading comprehension beyond the single word level, becoming moar flexible only after I gained language and verbal thinking skills as a way to generalize and organize my world beyond the perceptual level where eberrything is as it is and that is why nothing can be changed, blah blah blah. I also say that I did not make any gains by becoming moar neurotypical. I say that I did by learning things in my own ways, e.g. reading before speaking, echoing before speaking, echoing as a path to self-generated speech, etc etc etc. I am always emphasizing education as the key and far superior to behavioral modification. I admit all of my weaknesses and all the delays that I had as a child and all the things that I am still not good at today, but I also say that there is nothing wrong with me, nothing that requires someone else to come and make me not me anymoar. We also recognize the strengths of autistic kids and use them in the educational materials. Most of the kids have eggselent memories far surpassing those of their parents.

I was about to say that very thing lol.
People automatically assume that because they're "normal" they shouldn't have to take steps to cooperate with us. We can't do all the work in social situations, that's why there's awareness programs to help "normal" people understand us better.

I had no idea you were involved in such a thing, btbnnyr. That merits its own thread, or at least some elaboration.
What is the specific angle of this? Is it on a school for autistic children? Or do they attend either regular or special education non-specific for autistics, and are picked from there for after-school training? Is it a frequent thing, are there sessions, are they one-time-only?

At any rate this helps restore some of my faith in humanity, which has been teetering in recent weeks.

Yes, lately I tend to go past the positive sides to ASDs, forgetting how important it is (especially for children) to focus on one's strengths and abilities, instead of merely 'correcting' one's flaws. I should know, because I myself was raised by a mother whose approach to parenthood was an affirmative one; affirming my strengths, rewarding and complimenting whenever appropriate and doing MUCH of it.

Inherently flawed to have a role model, as such are humans. Humans are flawed, even in the best of cases (they can only see from their perspective, no matter how much empathy they have).

Much better to focus on your own ideals and wants (yes, yes, it's from your perspective, but it's yours).

I never said they shouldn't meet us half way, part of the benefit of having a role model, or a standard for behavior, is that it allows for us to be understood by nts.

In short we all understand commander data, we've been exposed to his behavior to the extent even nt's are able to understand him.

You can't expect every single person you ever meet to magically get you. You need to provide something they can latch onto. As most people on the spectrum should realize the human brain no matter which direction you look is very limited.

Solid post.

I think you kinda hit the nail on the head, it's not about changing per se. It's about creating a language we can communicate in. When were missing one of the primary senses of empathy, it's important for us to learn to communicate without this ability.

Never said it was for everyone I even mentioned in the video that it is mostly for people who aren't currently facing any issues, with sensory intergratio.

I'm aware of your natural face movements, as I mentioned in the video, I have the same problem.

My only solution was recording video's of myself on youtube. I was able for the first time in my life to get some real feedback on how I appear to others.

I guess in part it had to do with my musical background.

I simply re recorded video's of myself posting the same topics over and over again, until I felt I had them right. Learning to swing my voice in which sentences, how to make me look more relaxed, etc.

Each video was like a song for me, and after a while it started to really come together.